|Best bicycling practical joke?||floatch|
Apr 9, 2002 7:09 AM
|I've carefully considered some of the funniest things I've ever done and seen done, and some are listed below in the "I've learned" by floatch (me). I'm wondering if there's anything anyone else has done that I might try this summer with my merciless riding buddies. Any suggestions?
Here's my earlier post repeated...
I've learned that you should always make sure your cleats are tightly attached to your shoes BEFORE clipping in. I've also learned that if your friend does this on the first day of Ragbrai, it's wise to take pictures of him standing in a puddle in his socks, struggling to pull his one shoe off the pedal.
I've learned to hop over snakes and dead things on the road, rather than running over them and risking foul explosions from built up gas in their distended bellies.
I've learned it's unwise to ride really tiny clipless pedals when you're wearing birkenstock sandals, even if you are just in the driveway.
I've learned to always, always, ALWAYS take at least a dollar on a ride so you can buy something to eat and call for a ride if you need one.
I've learned to never pour mountain dew into a waterbottle and then ride with it. Sugary, carbonated drinks do not fare well in shaking airtight bottles. They tend to explode at the most inopportune moments.
I've learned it's unendingly funny to put tequila or vodka in your buddies' bottles when they're not looking.
I've also learned how funny it is to pull a rider's shorts down over the back of their seat, because when they panic and stand up, their shorts go down nearly to their knees. This is especially funny on a group ride.
|Doing things to other people that could get them hurt.||MB1|
Apr 9, 2002 7:28 AM
|Is not the least bit funny.|
|I think you've taken my post a little too seriously...||floatch|
Apr 9, 2002 8:01 AM
|If you're referring to the "pulling the shorts down" thing, gimme a break. It's not the kind of thing you do at 25+ miles an hour, down a hill approaching an intersection full of trucks loaded with dynamite.
Besides, my friends have done that and worse to me. I don't suppose you'd enjoy riding with us anyway. We're too loud and rowdy for some folks.
|I don't think you take it seriously enough.||MB1|
Apr 9, 2002 8:06 AM
|But then I've waited for the ambulance one time too many.|
|please notice topic of post...||floatch|
Apr 9, 2002 8:52 AM
|I didn't ask for "best ways to attack my friends", "best way to sabotage a bike in order to hurt it's rider", nor did I ask for "ways to make people crash."
The bearing in the seat tube is funny.
Reprogramming a computer is funny.
A waterbottle full of tequila is funny.
Mayonnaise in a tire is not funny.
As far as waiting for ambulances, I've never had to do it. Maybe I will one day, and I'll become a cynical, humorless, crusty old dodger as well.
|The voice of reason gets no respect.||MB1|
Apr 9, 2002 2:00 PM
|I guess I'll just saddle up my walker and get back to the bingo table.
Ask yourself would you do any of these really fun and harmless pranks to a total stranger? How about Lance, what a fine way to break the ice and get to know him better.
Not so? Then think about makes it o.k to do something like this to a friend-of whom I am sure you have many.
|Reminds me of "America's funniedt home Videos"||Len J|
Apr 9, 2002 2:11 PM
|If someone isn't either getting hurt or inadvertantly making a fool out of themselves it's not considered funny.
I'm with you MB1, I'd rather enjoy the company of my riding buddies than enjoy myself at thier expense.
Apr 9, 2002 6:54 PM
|While a friend disappears for a few minutes, trade his ultra light Euro racer for a Huffy.|
|GAH! Misinterpreted again!||floatch|
Apr 10, 2002 5:03 AM
|"Ask yourself would you do any of these really fun and harmless pranks to a total stranger? How about Lance, what a fine way to break the ice and get to know him better."
NO, NO, no! A thousand times, NO! Gah! If you would kindly re-read my initial post, you would realize that these pranks have been done between myself and my two knucklehead riding buddies! I would never even consider TOUCHING someone else's bike unless we were very good friends! I realize that it's cause for a butt kicking!
Having said that, I stand by my earlier ideas, and I still think they're funny. Would I do them to my idiot friends? YES!
Would I do them to someone I didn't know, or just met, for some kind of laugh at their expense? NO! I might even get beaten up!
Also- to quote...
"Then think about makes it o.k to do something like this to a friend-of whom I am sure you have many."
Pranks are an accepted practice among my circle of friends. Just because you don't do something, doesn't mean it's not acceptable for others. Am I some kind of criminal, waiting for old guys on cruisers around corners, waiting with a hockey stick to stick in their spokes? NO! Do I ride with other goofballs who enjoy this type of thing? YES! Give me a break!
|Ditto you and Ahimsa||kenyee|
Apr 9, 2002 6:24 PM
|Making someone fall (a lot of the "pranks" cause loss of attention/focus) and break a collar bone is not cool...|
|for the strong rider||MJ|
Apr 9, 2002 7:28 AM
|big man in the group who always pushes a little too hard
let enough air out of the tyres to slow them down - nothing like riding 120 psi tyres at 60 psi for a dose of mortality - watch them get spit out the back of the group and the look on their face
|Watch him roll a tire in a corner.||MB1|
Apr 9, 2002 8:03 AM
|Load of laughs.
Messing with other peoples bikes is NOT funny.
Apr 10, 2002 12:21 AM
|is it just me who is out puffing hard and then realises that I'm an idiot for not checking tyre pressure before the ride? - trying to get to 100 psi with a hand pump sucks
as most tyres have a range (minimum usually around 60 psi - when in doubt you can read...) I don't think there's any real danger of any tyre roll overs in a corner - do you?
you guys gotta lighten up
|it's funny when he punches in the face the one who did it.||colker|
Apr 9, 2002 8:42 AM
|brakes some teeth. then it's a good laugh..|
|it's alll fun and games till someone gets hurt.....||128|
Apr 9, 2002 9:29 AM
|then it's just fun!
Never totally understood the concept. Seems like an oxymoron dosn't it? It always harms people! Wouldn't a practical joke be one the HAD some value?? Like; knock knock, who's there? The square root of nine! So then it's three? YES! hmm..practical.
Oh, maybe it's PRACTICALLY a joke, but actually
why am i thinking about this....
|Did someone say "Jack O Lantern?"||eschelon|
Apr 9, 2002 10:01 AM
|Here's some I've heard.||Sintesi|
Apr 9, 2002 7:50 AM
|Unscrew the top of victim's waterbottle. Moldy oldy.
Couple BBs in the seat tube. Trying to figure out the rattle will drive 'em nuts.
Gently grabbing the back of someone's saddle as you ride up behind them. Moldy oldy.
Change the tire circumference setup on the computer so it reads too slow or too fast.
Yawn. That's all I know.
|Mayonaise in the rims before you put the tire back on...||robbz27|
Apr 9, 2002 7:55 AM
|is going to smell REAL good after a few days during the summer.
Also, anything (harmless) dropped in the seatpost tube offers a nice jingle when they hit a bump.
|Re-program the computer||Alpedhuez55|
Apr 9, 2002 8:42 AM
|You can do this without messing with the bike. You can make them think they are going faster or slower. Raise it in small increments over the course of a few days and they will think they are going faster than they really are. It is great if someone is always bragging about themselves. It can work well!!! The BB in the seat tube is a classic as well.|
|Re-program the computer||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 9:09 AM
|re: Best bicycling practical joke?||brider|
Apr 9, 2002 9:12 AM
|Putting rocks in some one's seat bag when they're not looking. |
Ceyenne pepper on the top of a water bottle.
If you can imitate the sound of a puncture, ride up behind some one and do it as loud as you can. Works great during the wind up for a sprint.
Replace the allen wrenches in some one's tool bag with old, rounded out wrenches (but give them back their tools after the ride, even if they haven't used them, because you don't want them stranded alone some where during the week). This can work well with a set-up fix. Like having your bars rotated, and asking them for help because you forgot your wrenches.
Of course, on my team, people tended to do some pretty funny stuff to themselves (like the carbonated drink in the water bottle), so I never had to do any of these things for entertainment. We did have a routine sprint back to the parking lot where we met for the ride, the first guy would go around to as many cars as possible and set off the car alarms (only do this to team mate's cars).
|re: Best bicycling practical joke?||brider|
Apr 9, 2002 9:13 AM
|Oh yeah, take off their cyclocomputer and put Scotch tape over the contacts (works best on Avocet computers).|
|re: Best bicycling practical joke?||Dan Q|
Apr 9, 2002 9:16 AM
|This one takes an extended amount of time and works best for shop employees as a coworker leaves for lunch.
1.Remove rear wheel of offending person's bike
3.Cut tiny hole in tube
4.Insert 3 small bearings
7.Act serious as said person describes strange noise that comes from rear of bike only when going slow????
8.Extend the useful value of the joke by suggesting a B.B. overhaul, hub repack, etc.
|Now this is funny!||floatch|
Apr 9, 2002 9:22 AM
|I worked in a few shops when I was in college, and this would have been a good one! We did things like BB's in the seat tube, but this is much more sadistic. I love it.|
|both cranks in the same position||Steve Davis|
Apr 9, 2002 10:53 AM
|I heard of a guy who had his buddies pull the crank off his bike and put it back on so that both cranks were in the same position...|
|both cranks in the same position||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 11:45 AM
|Have you ever tried riding like that?|
|Call me boorish and what not....||Ahimsa|
Apr 9, 2002 9:41 AM
|...but with the folks I run with, f*cking with someone's bike is a good quick way to get your arse kicked.
Very, very, very not cool or funny. Ever.
Someone trying ot figure out "where that noise is coming from" is not fully paying attention to the road and thus less safe in traffic.
There are plenty of ways to express humor and put one over on your mates. This is not one of them.
Save it for the bar at the end of the day.
A. (Unwritten code: Never mess with a biker's money, girl, or steed)
|Call me boorish and what not....||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 9:45 AM
|I agree. Don't screw with my bike and my wife. She might be a $2 tramp, but she is my $2 tramp. As for my bike, that is my prized possession, and if I don't want you messing with my $2 tramp, I definitly don't want you messin with my prized possession.|
|they would all piss me off||ishmael|
Apr 9, 2002 11:06 AM
|except maybe the pepper on the bottle nozzle...and putting seltzer water in the bottle, i like to ride with seltzer water....|
|but if i were to do anything||ishmael|
Apr 9, 2002 11:11 AM
|mayonaise instead of chamois cream|
|they would all piss me off||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 11:46 AM
|You can put exlax in their clif bar, but you don't want to be behind them in a pace line if you know what I mean.|
|But, But, But...||Dan Q|
Apr 9, 2002 11:05 AM
|What if they get beer down their throat and choke to death. I don't think it is cool to do anything that would harm a person or their bike but humor is part of what makes life fun, cycling included. You sound like a very, very, very not cool or funny person to be around. Ever.
P.S. Are you the guy always wearing purple and pink that never waves at me when I ride by and wave?
|What if they get beer down their throat and choke to death||floatch|
Apr 9, 2002 11:24 AM
|What if they get beer down their throat and choke to death||Dan Q|
Apr 9, 2002 11:31 AM
|Sorry. This should have been attached to the thread.
Call me boorish and what not....
|What if they get beer down their throat and choke to death||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 11:49 AM
|DanQ spell potatoe for me.|
|Are you the guy always wearing purple that never waves at me?||Ahimsa|
Apr 9, 2002 3:15 PM
I'm the guy in black and gray that passes you like you are standing still.
Apr 10, 2002 9:09 AM
|If your speed is as quick as your wit, I doubt that you're passing anyone.|
|re: Best bicycling practical joke.||High Gear|
Apr 9, 2002 4:20 PM
|I like to ride up along side a rider and slap the top of his saddle when he's standing on a climb. It sounds just like a broken spoke. It only works once but the look on their face is the funniest.|
|re: Best bicycling practical joke.||RadicalRonPruitt|
Apr 9, 2002 6:55 PM
|I will have to give that one a try. Of course we don't have to many big climbs around where I live.|
|re: Uh oh... but that might be fun ron.....||sctri|
Apr 11, 2002 8:06 PM
|Might even cause a loss of concentraion... resulting in who knows what.. a smile...
Your tune has changed as you continue to troll this thread... at first you were the defender of all things safe... and now you concede to fun.. i am shocked..
you are just so radical...
|forget to take off aerobars?||cyclopathic|
Apr 10, 2002 8:09 AM
|then when it's your time to lead paceline switch hands and drop paceline. Be careful the guy behind won't see you do it.
Then slow down, let everyone to catch you and apologize for breaking paceline with that "innocent" look at their red and sweaty faces.