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Don't you just love it when....(34 posts)

Don't you just love it when....agilis ti
Apr 3, 2002 3:52 PM
A redneck in a truck blows by you and then decides to run off the road in front of you to kick up some good gravel to create a little dust storm for you to pedal through. Where do they get such genius inspiration. I guess it must be from their Mom who is also their older sister.
pink lycra just inflames them rednecksSlipstream
Apr 3, 2002 4:22 PM
The big E can carry it off because he IS the big E

given the trucker's heritage, it sounds like a southern problem to me. (hey, i've read James Dickey.) it's times like that when i wish i carried a laser weapon: just ping his last remaining tooth.

better yet, invite him on a canoe trip, that'll cure his dumb a$$; on the other hand, he just might enjoy it.
re: Don't you just love it when....ALBikeGuy
Apr 3, 2002 5:23 PM
A few years ago, my wife and I were mountain biking and the trail ended at a road. We decided to take the road back to our car. We were riding up a long hill and these rednecks kept riding past us, back and forth. They would try to kick up dust and make comments to my wife. I was starting to get a little worried about their intentions. After about the 4th pass, they gunned it, the truck screeched off, then made one of those sounds that you know isn't good. By the time we passed them, there was a lot of black smoke coming out from the hood. We just waved as we went by. After a few miles we got back to our car, loaded up and had to drive back past them. A tow truck was loading up the truck. It was classic, but I was glad to be out of there!
rednecks and higher conciousness...merckx56
Apr 3, 2002 6:22 PM
my wife and i lived in jacksonville, florida for a couple of years while she worked for a tv station there. i worked at a shop that was an easy 30 mile commute every day. i was sitting at a light, on the bike, minding my own business and some inbred hick stops beside me in his p.o.s. truck. he yells, "nice shoes fag-got!". mind you, i had on the old silver and yellow diadora ergo pros. he also split that very ugly word into two distinct parts! so being the quick-witted a-hole that i am, i quickly thanked him and asked him how much money he made a week. he retorted with the equally well thought out argument of " f@#k you!", and ask me why it mattered. i calmly explained that my shoes probably cost more than his weekly pay at wherever a redneck with an eighth grade education works. he then combined his two previous statements into "f@#k you, fag-got" (read it as two words!). he then explained he was "gonna kill my homo ass" and threw his truck into park. at this point, i got off the bike, and as he came around the truck, cracked him square in the mouth, and kicked him square in the scrotum with the shoes that he admired oh so much. i left him there with a bloody mouth, a snotbubble and swollen testicles, and quitely rode home knowing that he'd never utter a word of this to anyone! after all, how many of his a'hole buddies would believe he got his ass kicked by some guy in lycra and silver shoes? true story!
hey, how 'bot that story in Chicago?cyclopathic
Apr 3, 2002 6:51 PM
I am glad YOU didn't get run over bro
Apr 3, 2002 7:58 PM
I want you on my team. If you still have those shoes, you should post this story on e-bay along with the shoes. I am sure you can fetch a whopping price for them. You have balls, man! LOL
That must have been on the Westside. nmElefantino
Apr 4, 2002 12:11 AM
it was just down the road from san marco!(nm)merckx56
Apr 4, 2002 7:02 AM
it was just down the road from san marco!(nm)novagator
Apr 4, 2002 8:05 AM
I lived in Jax for 5 years, if I remember correctly about San Marco, the shoes should have fit right in :-D

Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!! :-)
Well, my first ride back will be on San Jose/Hendricks...Elefantino
Apr 4, 2002 10:51 AM
...which, not so coincidentally, was the boulevard where I wrecked. (Right across the street from Hendricks Ave. Baptist.)

I think I'lll be OK. All the damn northerners or Californians (like me) end up moving either to the beaches or Mandarin when they come to River City. So the Mandarin/San Jose area's IQ has risen in proportion to the decline in its in-breeding.

go down to mandarin road...merckx56
Apr 4, 2002 12:32 PM
and wait for the 7:00 city bus. i used to motorpace it almost everynight, for the whole length of mandarin road. right when the bus gets to speed, you come up on that slight left bend and it has to slow. i always ended up with axle grease on me though! it was a good motorpace workout!
So how did you keep from slipping in those "gay" shoes?Sintesi
Apr 4, 2002 6:14 AM
If I threw a hard punch in my Sidis I'd skate across the pavement and land on my ass. I've thought about doing exactly what you did a couple times but always reasoned that I'd be too vulnerable in my shoes due to the lack of traction. What's your technique kiddo? Maybe your redneck lacked agility, eh? : )
So how did you keep from slipping in those "gay" shoes?merckx56
Apr 4, 2002 7:05 AM
I stepped over into the grass and the red didn't bother to come at me with any sort of defense. never mind the fact that i was 3 or 4 inches taller and out-weighed him by a good 25 pounds. people in cars don't realize that 6'1" and 180 lbs is much bigger in their face than on a bike!
We're very proud of you Mr. Merckx56. GJ! (nm)Sintesi
Apr 4, 2002 11:42 AM
"Tread lightly & carry a swift...KICK" [nm]jagiger
Apr 4, 2002 7:13 AM
rednecks and higher conciousness...eschelon
Apr 4, 2002 1:50 PM
You are da focken man!
rednecks and higher conciousness...Wil-AZ
Apr 4, 2002 2:38 PM
My problem is that with look clips on my shoes. It's hard enough to walk in them let alone kick anyone's ass. Good story.
Wearing NASCAR road shirts would help, big '3' on the back128
Apr 4, 2002 5:01 AM
or a Harley logo. Seriously, I'm considering it.
Sort of a 'when in Rome'approach.
We can start a company which produces road gear for your particular neighborhood! Of course you might have to bring a change of shirts for some rides..
'Mi casa es su casa'..
'Major Taylor Racer'...etc

My Aunt was a race car driver and my Dad a Harley nut, I love the speed and mechanics(and quietness!)of the bike and get pissed because (other than salary, hygiene, and the ability to organize the alphabet into meaningful patters) we really have alot in common with motor-heads and NASCAR nuts....apart from that combustion engine thing. Worlds apart, Same road.
Or in the 'shruburbs:'6 figure salary on board.' ..nm128
Apr 4, 2002 5:08 AM
Beer / Hard Liquor jerseys would help!! nmcydswipe
Apr 4, 2002 5:18 AM
"Glennfidich Single Mal.", I mean; "OLD #7!" (nm)128
Apr 4, 2002 5:36 AM
WWF Jersey and a big "3" on a black helmet........Softrider
Apr 4, 2002 5:50 AM
Throw in the Coors Light team shorts, and the rednecks would HAVE to show you some respect!!!!

I have honestly never had a problem with rednecks (and we have our fair share of rednecks), it is the yuppies and soccer moms in the Mercedes and BMW's that have been my problem.

Disclaimer: No offense intended if any of you drive said vehicles.
Installed a gunrack on the rear stays and old golf hats128
Apr 4, 2002 6:23 AM
across the rear rack and a pirate flag high atop the sissy bar...
Keeps the wolves at bay, tough maneuvering through tight spots though...

Ya just can't please 'em all.
Redneck website not to be missed.pmf1
Apr 4, 2002 6:44 AM
This is a site dedicated to the author's (not me) redneck neighbor. Its long, but there is some definite humor in there. Don't miss the pictures of the Hibachi disaster, mailbox with Jesus statue, or the 95 foot flag pole.
That is a classic!!!!! (nm)Dave Hickey
Apr 4, 2002 6:58 AM
Esp that last picturepmf1
Apr 4, 2002 7:03 AM
The last photo of the 95 foot flagpole next to Jesus mailbox almost had me falling out of my chair.

And I thought my former neighbors were a bunch of hillbillys. What is 6 cars in the driveway compared to what this guy suffers from?
Best website EVER!Wannabe
Apr 4, 2002 7:24 AM
That has to be one of the most hilarious websites I've ever seen! I really, really feel sorry for the guy to have a neighbor like that!

that brick mailbox. words are not sufficient. nmJS Haiku Shop
Apr 4, 2002 7:39 AM
Great, understated writing. "Hell is other people"- Camus [nm]128
Apr 4, 2002 7:49 AM
Yep, that is the best part...bigdave
Apr 4, 2002 11:58 AM
He lets JD8's deeds do the talking in pictures. What a bozo.

Now, I better finish the brick sidewalk that I "meant to do" last summer, but instead scrapped for riding centuries so I don't become JD8! :-)

LOL!!!!!! A classic indeed! nmTroyboy
Apr 4, 2002 8:43 AM
The URL has been emailed out and I even bookmarked it! -NM :-)Tig
Apr 4, 2002 1:17 PM
Same here! Boy, I thought I had some loonies next door!(nm)dsc
Apr 4, 2002 7:54 PM
Frick'n hilarious!js5280
Apr 5, 2002 3:19 PM
Looks like the story is still unfolding so I bookmarked it. I'd expect this in the trailer park but I'm pretty sure this guy has new 3 series BMW in one of the driveway picture. Please dear God, don't tell me this guy is in the construction business. Thanks for the laugh, worth reading every line. . .