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feeling a bit frustrated(25 posts)

feeling a bit frustratedbrent
Dec 30, 2001 6:23 PM
Ok, I am going to ramble on a bit about how pathetic and hopeless I feel. I'm 5'10" and weigh 215lbs. Obviously I am overweight. I want to be around 165, which I think is healthy for me. I LOVE road racing and riding, but I am just getting into road riding. A couple months ago I put $2500 into a new road bike, but haven't been able to ride it much. I live in Colorado, and I don't have the gear to ride outside or inside, and I can't afford to buy it(am saving for July wedding). Yeah I know I should have bought a cheaper bike so that I would have enough left over for the gear. ANYWAY, I just bought a pair of running shoes so I could at least try to run and lose the weight in time for the wedding. That is an extremely important goal for me, but it seems so impossible. I went running yesterday and i could run for even 10 minutes. I can't believe how out of shape I am. The cold really screwed me up i think, because I spent the night on the couch, coughing and weezing. I felt awful. Should I even be running in the cold? Will my lungs adjust? I've tried to start eating right, but I'll always give in and eat fast food or something else that's horrible. It sucks. I'll have all the motivation in the world late at night and I'll swear the tomorrow is the day it begins, but when I wake up the next morning I don't feel the same way. I just CAN'T get my ass moving, but I want do accomplish this goal SO badly and for so many reasons.
I'm not really asking a question, just telling everyone how i feel.
Some guidanceKerry Irons
Dec 30, 2001 6:42 PM
If you run a 1000 calorie per day deficit (calories burned less calories consumed) you will lose 2 lbs per week. This is a challenging goal AND the fastest you can safely lose weight. If you started tomorrow, you could lose 50 lbs by June if you never missed a day. You would be hungry all the time, though they tell me you get used to it. 1000 calorie daily deficit is VERY tough to do unless you exercise to burn the extra calories. 1000 calories is something like 10 miles of running for a 150 lb. man (less than that at your weight) or 25-30 miles of flat land cycling. I'm guessing it would be a lot easier for you to do the cycling than the running, because your joints wouldn't be so hammered by riding. You should try walking for now, as it is easier on you than running, and something you can do to get yourself going. It takes more time than running, but you can do it, whereas running appears to be a problem at present. I would think that you should cut this weight loss goal in half, and shoot for a 25 lb loss by June. If you do better, that's great, but if you try for the faster loss, you risk feeling like a failure. Plus, until you get a lot closer to your 165 lb goal, you really don't know if it is realistic - your body type may not allow you to reasonably reach that weight. While diet is helpful in all this (lots of veggies, fruit, whole grains), the only thing that really counts is eating less than you burn. I know you didn't ask a question, but here's the path you can follow. I hope it helps.
this is what credit cards are forgtx
Dec 30, 2001 6:50 PM
a decent inside trainer (like the Minoura) will cost you $100 (or less on eBay).

For outside I'd recommend something like the Burley jacket and then just layer like mad underneath. You should be able to find ski gloves and waterproof them. Get some cheap booties. For $200 (or less) you should be plenty warm.

The Minoura trainer and lots of winter clothes are on sale at Colorado Cyclist (and other places I'm sure) right now.

sorry, but quit making excuses and ride your bike. And eat right!

Happy new year!
2nd the trainerDog
Dec 31, 2001 7:58 AM
get a trainer; that will allow you to get in shape indoors, and it's about the cheapest way to go; try to work up to about an hour at a time; watch TV while you ride

re: feeling a bit frustratedLLSmith
Dec 30, 2001 7:01 PM
You just need to set up a plan to follow so you will be able to reach your goal.Put your plan in writing and stick with it.
re: feeling a bit frustratedtr
Dec 30, 2001 8:25 PM
Smith is right, you need to have a little book or notebook and record everything in it that you eat. You will be surprised how this helps if you are diligent and stick to it. You have to answer to yourself and it will work. It all depends on how bad you want it. If you want it bad enough you can make it happen. I lost 30-35 lbs over a three or four month period once and i never hurt my health. I was running, riding my bike, and lifting every other day. Work real hard on your eating habits. The average american eats in reverse to the way he should. Your biggest meal should be breakfast and lunch should be second. Dinner should be fairly light or moderate. With your biggest meal in the morning you give your body a chance to burn it, instead of sleeping with a huge calorie plus over night. With the running, start out with one mile and gradually increase it as you adjust to it. The most important thing is to be consistent and your body will adjust. With the running it takes several weeks before you get used to it. The first two to three weeks are the hardest and then your body gradually starts to like it and it becomes routine. When the weather gets good in the spring you can ride the nice bike. My first bike was nicer than it should have been and i used that to get me out on it all the time to justify spending so much.
That can't feel goodCrankist
Dec 30, 2001 9:35 PM
When you get the courage to hear some answers, then ask some questions.
Step by stepJames
Dec 30, 2001 9:39 PM
I lost 200Lbs in the past 2-3 years. I went through every emotion in the process. I learned(after time) that i couldnt do it all in one day. Every gallon of water i consumed each day and then let out, I would think it was more of me to flush down the toilet. Have little goals and reward yourself(bike parts, meals ect...). With the running, dont expect to run forever your first time. Run/walk for awile and slowly increase your running distance and keep working harder each week (little by little). I never thought someone my size(410LBS highest) would have 2 running medals or could sit on a 17LB bike without crushing it. Good luck and read alot for tips.
Dec 30, 2001 9:50 PM
Now there's some inspiration. I can't imagine how much that magnitude of weight loss would change a person's life. Thanks for sharing your story.
Where in Colorado?lonefrontranger
Dec 30, 2001 10:10 PM
I live in Boulder, and did a lot of cycling coaching a few years ago when I lived in Cincinnati. I don't do a lot now because I'm more concentrated on racing, and have been picked up by a pretty serious team. My specialty was working with beginners. I had cycling students just like you who were sedentary starting out.

It sounds like you're well on the way through the first step (recognizing the problem). The thing you have to do is to take small steps at first, and don't beat yourself up or focus on the negatives.

If you want to use running to cross-train, start small. Ten minutes is an awful lot of running for someone who's both out of shape and not adapted. You will be very, very sore for the next couple of days. It sounds like you got the classic "cold-weather" cough brought on by strenuous exercise in cold and dry air. You will adapt, but I'll also tell you that the end of a cold spring bike race around here sounds like a TB ward! It's typically not serious, merely annoying.

If you're serious about running, the best way to start is to walk-jog. Try jogging for 1 or 2 minutes, then walking for 2 minutes. Slowly increase your jog intervals over time - this is called an "adaptation" phase. Your joints must adapt to the weight bearing, and your heart and lungs must adapt to the increased effort. Go out only 15-20 minutes at first, then gradually work up the distance and time. It will take about 4 weeks for the adaptation phase. Go 3 times a week and be both stubborn and sensible about it. You might find that after 4 weeks you are both looking forward to and enjoying a morning jog.

If you're really motivated at night, then work out at night. Get some cheap free weights and lift for 20 minutes. Or just do situps and pushups and door squats - if you're all full of energy and motivation, USE IT, right then, instead of getting up at 2AM and going to the fridge for a sandwich. Habits, whether bad or good, take some time to form. When you were a kid, you didn't come home from school and immediately flop down in front of the TV, did you? You probably went out cruising around with friends, played ball, etc. It took a while to become sedentary, and it will take about 4 weeks to ingrain non-sedentary habits. But the cool thing is that the more you keep at it, the easier it gets. I was never an early riser in my life, but now I get up regularly at 5 to do my morning run, gym workout or commute to work by bike. I go to bed earlier because I now realize that after 9 or 9.30 all I was doing was sitting in front of the TV anyway.

These same rules will apply for cycling, or for diet, or for anything else you attempt. If you set insurmountable goals, or feel like the problem is huge and overwhelming, then you automatically set yourself up for failure. Don't stress yourself and create self-misery by that desperate feeling that you "HAVE" to lose all that weight before the wedding. Yes, it's an important goal, but something more important that you have to realize is that if you like yourself and feel great about yourself, then the riding and weight issues will follow along and sort themselves out. Try getting in touch with the positive side of who you are. I'll bet your fiance doesn't see you as a fat slob, but as a great guy with a lot of fantastic qualities that she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with. That's a big, big positive right there.

I'm not truly fat, but I'm what you'd call a healthy woman, and I've been downright porky in the past. My racing suffered from it, and I used to get really down on myself because early on in my racing career I had delusions of being a great climber. But you know what - I finally woke up and realized what my real talents are. I'm no Pantani, but that big tush I have to winch up the hills also happens to be the power plant for a darned good sprinter. Just show me the money in a crit, and watch those skinny girls get left in the dust!

e-mail me if you'd like more advice on starting a workable program:

Cheers - Beth
Where in Colorado?brent
Dec 31, 2001 12:05 AM
I'm in Fort Collins. I too used to live in Cincinnati, until I was twelve(I was in Mason, actually, a suburb). I know I don't HAVE to lose the weight for the wedding, but I really would like to. As I said, that's not the only reason I want to lose weight. I want to race, and I want to be able to play sports well again (I used to be a pretty good athelete in high school). Two years ago I tried a mountain bike race and I finished dead last. I was in way over my head and I started cramping up pretty bad halfway through the race, but I finished anyway, while 20 others quit. I feel I have I score to settle with that race. People wouldn't know it by looking at me or talking to me, but I'm extremely competitive. I think I know how to go about getting my body back in shape, I just need to do it. My manager at work is sort of in the same situation as me. He's up to 250 and he wants to be down to 175. He's an ex road racer, and he's raced with the U.S. Junior National Team in Europe, and trained at the Olympic Training center in Colorado Springs. We're both full of talk about how we're going to get going and get in shape and kick ass in racing, but we just can't get it going.
OK,a challenge to all the fat guys!Like myself:(kentuckyjoe
Dec 31, 2001 1:52 AM
Im 26 yrs old ,5'11" and 238lbs.two years ago i weighed in at 305lbs,one year ago i weighed in at 200lbs,so you see ive gained allmost 38 pounds in the last year,very bad news for me and i really can feel ive gained the weight.How about a little winter challenge to get to our goal weights by mid summer.We could even come up with some type of reward for the winner,"bike parts of course":)and please no smartass comments from all you skinney people because you never know,we might just be passing your ass this summer. Later,Joe
Let's do it!4bykn
Dec 31, 2001 8:01 AM
I'm also gravitationally challenged, 5'10", and about 195#. How about we have a "contest" for motivation. I'd love to drop about 25 pounds.
I'll give it a gofuzzybunnies
Jan 1, 2002 7:50 PM
only thing you have on me is a year. I'm currently the same weight and height. Used to be 275-280 and am looking to get down to 195 which would make me fast as hell not lugging the extra. Russ
Your manager/buddy is exactly what you need.ohio
Dec 31, 2001 10:13 AM
I find it very difficult to self motivate. Having a partner in arms, IMO, is the best thing you can do to reach your goals. You said you're competitive, so use each other as motivation for who can get into shape, especially if your ability levels are equal right now.

Even if you don't have the motivation to actually go riding or running, if you've already set a time to go riding/running with someone, you can't back out (which you might do if there was no obligation). This is an excellent way to develop a habit or routine of running/riding/lifting every day (maybe every other day at first).

Also, don't set your goals in terms of weight. It's too hard to control how your body will respond to exercise/diet. I think you're better off setting your goals in terms of # of pushups/situps, or miles walking/running or minutes riding.

As far as diet goes, if you can't bring yourself to throw out the junkfood, just don't buy any next time you go food shopping. And NEVER food shop when you're hungry. Switch to skim milk (you'll get used to it in a week) and if you have to have snacks around, restrict yourself to buying thinks like triscuits. That way when you can't resist snacking you'll still only be munching on a couple of calories and a lot of fiber. Slowly you'll get used to the new foods, and you'll save a little cash on the side, which you can use to get a wind-trainer or warmer clothes...

Best of luck.
Where in Colorado?MJ
Dec 31, 2001 3:36 AM
Beth's walk/jog plan is a sure fire winner - my wife, though not fat, wanted to get in shape for running - she followed the walk/jog plan as Beth laid it out (it was detailed in Cosmo or Elle or something like that!!) and it worked wonders - 18 months later she's a half-marathon runner from being sedentary - IMO she looks the same (great) but has the eye of the tiger (also great) - I initially balked at the plan (as I was drafted in to provide moral support) and tried to push her a bit (my unwitting and in this case inappropriate approach to everything) - she told me to piss off and that she'll do it according to the plan - it's the perfect sedentary entry into the world of fitness

the hardest thing is the dicipline - set a schedule and stick to it - you will not feel like running when your schedule says you have to - that's the hardest part and that's when you gotta go and jog the most - in my wife's case, and maybe in your case, drafting a partner/friend/co-conspriator into the training regime would keep you more motivated and honest about your effort - no excuses - getting in shape is not a physical challenge it's a mental challenge

results aren't immediate and that's tough - had a friend who wanted to lose some weight and get in shape and he started jogging three times a week - he quit after two weeks cause he gained weight - he started eating more when he started running - losing weight is about getting rid of more calories than you take in and you have to resist the 'eat more when you excercise temptation' - you haven't earned it yet - you have to eat right and 'small' - you earn it in six months

ultimately like Beth said - it's about a change in lifestyle/habits and not a one off effort, though a wedding and the associated photos (with you for the rest of your life) is a good initial motivation to make that leap

I also agree with Beth's excellent advice re commuting to work on the bike - I would stress this as a great way to make yourself active by default - it becomes part of your life rather than a workout - walking and jogging to work are other options - if your destination doesn't have a shower (you'll be sweating calories away) check for nearby gyms where you could shower (I got a reduced membership at one gym when I joined as I explained what I would be using the membership for) - lots of people, particularly those with families/commitments, on this board commute to get their miles in every week
re: feeling a bit frustrated2kw
Dec 31, 2001 6:30 AM
Hang in there!

My advice: Get a magnetic trainer, set your bike on it by the TV, and do an hour of easy spinning each night while watching Letterman. Also an inexpensive HRM would be helpful to provide feedback and monitor your fitness improvement.

As for diet, you'll find that once you get into the habit of eating right, your body will start to crave only healthy foods and you'll look upon McDonald's with disgust, as I do. It might take you 3 weeks of concerted effort to get into the habit, but it'll be worth it.

This goal is do-able!!!
Make it a lifetime goalMike P
Dec 31, 2001 7:40 AM
It is common for people to set their weightloss (healthy change) goals for some important event, such as a wedding. They make the goal then withing a month be back to square one.

Don't do it just for the wedding!!!

Start out small, don't over do it, find a way to enjoy it, don't stop, etc.

Dec 31, 2001 8:42 AM
You guys get "stars in your crowns"!! What fabulous advice and support. This
is what makes this board so great. I know how Brent feels. I started running
after lung surgery and a diagnosis of emphysema--made it to about 50 yds.
the first time!

Brent, follow the advice given. Your body after about 8 to 12 weeks of moderate
exercise will change hormonally, then things will start to feel better.

My story.tempete
Dec 31, 2001 9:37 AM
I'm 32. Until I was 23, I was what you call an athlete.
Then, for reasons not to be discussed here, I've let myself down.
Drug use (recreationnal) Alcohol abuse, cigarette, junk of all sort. Woke up this summer (July) I was 200+ pounds, not breathing well.

Yesterday evening I cross-country skied up-hill like I use to. All alone and quite proud. I also broke my all time max heart rate and felt like an absolute champion.

Here are my advises:
Make loosing weight a priority; It will help your cardio by relieving your body of excess work. Also it will help prevent injuries if you try too hard through physical workout.
To do that; never eat within 2 hours of going to bed
wake up and have one glass of water, one glass of juice.
THEN be active; go for a walk/very light run.
Eat breakfast consisting of fruits, yogurt, bran cereal, maybe a little cheeze. For the rest of the day, eat a fruit 1/2 hour before the meal, and eat less, fix yourself lunches. Read about nutrition so you motivate yourself with knowledge. Find what works for you (I have dropped white bread and milk for soy and cereals) Cut sugar and lower carbohydrates.
Basically, eat well and yes, indulge once every second week.

GIVE YOURSELF REALISTIC GOALS. The benefits are correspondignly realistic.

Once you've shaved 10 pounds (give yourself the winter for loosing weight) Start gradually working on those abs. Make that a priority with increased time running. Continue light training before eating.

Abdominals, jogging, lots of fluids and juice. POSITIVE THINKING. Make time for your health. Believe me, once you shave off 20 pounds, you feel much more appropriate to start proper cardio training. Long, slow, enjoyable.

Think how long you have neglected, now why could that change in a month? It takes time and being in shape is a lifetime commitment, like marriage.

Be good.
Your not losing weight, you're changing your lifestyle. . .js5280
Dec 31, 2001 4:24 PM
The best thing you can do is approach this as a lifestyle change. Don't approach it as I want to lose weight in time for the wedding or else you'll be back right were you are now if you even get off the ground. You have to start somewhere and realize by just trying you'll be ahead of the couch potatoes, which is a vast majority of the population. Don't measure yourself to the ultra-fit, just shoot for your next personal record. Sounds like running 10 minutes is a good place to start. When you reach it, set it again but a little higher. Try running 10 then walking brisky another 10 minutes. Work up to 20 minutes of running. At a moderate pace (10 minute mile) that's 2 miles. Once you're there, try running some 5k fun runs. It's a great motivator and soon your be running 3.2 miles. Checking for some good training tips for new runners.

Once you start down this path and make some progress you'll start staying away from bad eating habits. That's generally what makes you feel crappy. Kind of like bad gas in a car, it's going to run a little rough till it burns through the crap. It's going to be painful for a while for you body to adjust to regular excercise. Saw a great quote the other day; "Pain is weakness leaving the body."

Stick w/ it, find the healthy activities which you like doing otherwise you'll have another demotivator. The important thing is JUST DO IT!. Everyone has days when we feel like crap and don't want to do it. During those times, just remember about the times you ran your first 10 minutes, a 5k, finished your first century, or looked in the mirror and felt proud about your progress. Again the important thing is to measure your success against your old self. You'll see changes more quickly if do this and it will help motivate you to stick w/ it.

Good luck to you. There's going to be a lot people in the next month who resolve to lose weight and be healthy. Most of those people won't make it a month, don't be one of those people!


BTW I live in Denver.
re: feeling a bit frustratedmackgoo
Dec 31, 2001 5:17 PM
I just whent from around 185 to 155-160. The key is how much you eat plain and simple. I have been riding a bike pretty agressivly for years, never really lost anything, I exercise, same deal. Then finally this year I really cut back on how much I eat. When I eat I eat about half what I would have eaten, and the pounds just came off, and they are staying off.
Keep the bike and don't sweat it go slow and your fitness will come.
THANKS- this is good stuffbrent
Dec 31, 2001 7:26 PM
I would like to thank everyone who has responded to my post. It's amazing how encouraging just a few words from others can be. I guess I should tell you all a little more about me (I don't know why). I'm 22, and I'm working on an international relations degree at C.U. Boulder. I play drums in a band called Last exit (we opened for Primus at the Fillmore in San Francisco last year). I've always loved bikes, and I WILL get my self in top physical condition. I WILL start road racing. I WILL dominate. Watch out!

Jan 1, 2002 6:30 PM
I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but Oh well....

Dude....I'm in a similar situation, but have gotten over the food problems as well as the 'hump'. I did this with fasting...yes...fasting...

DON'T eat for 3 days...only drink distilled water. You'll be AMAZED at what comes out of your body. You will feel like total crap the first day or maybe two, but by the third day you'll feel great, and your stomach will already be smaller in size and easier to fill and your appetite will be reduced as well. Start your exercise plan slowly (probably after day 2 or even after the fast) and only go by how you FEEL, no goals, HR at 70%. When you come 'off' of the fast, only eat bulky vegetables (broc/cali/celery) to 'sweep' out your system. On your new diet, limit butter, red meats and sat. fats, etc. Supplement with RAW vinegar!

After, your fast should be motivated to eat right. Then I would recommend fasting one day a week, for the rest of your life...(try Sunday). You'll be amazed.

Good luck...
You're already ahead of the game and don't even know it....Blue 'Goose
Jan 2, 2002 6:29 AM
Here's the scoop.

I joined Weight Watchers. I started at 5' 7" and 230.4
lbs. I'm now 213 something and in my fifth week. Guys
have it much easier than the women when it comes to this.
Their points program works and I don't feel deprived.

Exercise with the program works even better.

The keys:
-track everything you eat on paper and adhere strictly to
limits set by the program. It's easier than you think.

-exercise at least three to four times a week and don't
give up.

-Don't give up.

You're under double stress since you have a wedding coming
up. The bigger the wedding the bigger the stress. Don't
worry about it. That's SEVEN months away and if you adhere
to the program you'll do just fine.

Maybe consider going to weight watchers with your fiance'
or consider that she might support your efforts in this..
if she's not having a problem consider talking with her
since it works and the structure of the program helps guys
like us who tend to eat more than we think.

You have to walk before you can run.

My wife and I lost a lot of weight just walking one year:
we'd take a mile or so walk every night and when it got too
cold to really do that we went to a local mall and did some
laps around the mall facility itself inside.

Or join a health club.

You can do it.

Hope that helps.