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The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...(33 posts)

The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...Elefantino
Nov 28, 2001 7:35 AM
She's been in California for 10 days and knows nothing, yet, about the recent S-Works purchase. Here is what I will do:

I think I will bring flowers to the airport. And I'll pick her up in her car, which I'm having washed and vacuumed.

Then, on the way home, while holding hands in the car, I'm going to say, "Remember that I told you I was looking at getting a third bike?"

See, I figure that I'm because I'm driving, on the freeway, at high speed, at night, I will be immunized against any immediate reprisals. And because it's a 25-minute ride home from the airport, I have plenty of time to state all the wonderful reasons you all have given me.

I am also taking an extra house key, just in case she runs in and locks the door behind her.

Am I prepared or what.
re: The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...John-d
Nov 28, 2001 7:42 AM
No chance!

The flowers at the airport will blow the whole scam.

Meet her at the airport with the new bike and her car and challange her to a race home.

Put flowers in car, that might slow her down a bit.
but then..tcr01
Nov 28, 2001 7:54 AM
you would run the risk of her running you and the new bike over.
she'll probably think you are having an affair (nm)TB Hallaran
Nov 28, 2001 8:27 AM
Not possible, she took his penis and testicles w/ herjs5280
Nov 28, 2001 10:35 AM
Sorry Elefantino for the harsh flame, but you need to stand up for yourself here. You're a grown man and as long as you're not going to bounce your son's next tuition check or the mortgage, you should be able to buy whatever you want within reason. I do agree though that you need to find out the reasons behind your wife's disapproval and try to mitigate those as best as possible. It would have been best to do this BEFORE buying the bike because now you have gone behind her back, while she was away, which is the worst of two offences you made. You'll owe her big for this one and you won't be able to pay that off anytime soon. She will make you suffer for a while before calling her in her chit.
Ouch!Elefantino
Nov 28, 2001 2:45 PM
Oh ... never mind. I checked. They're still there.

Whew.
get good chocolatescyclopathic
Nov 28, 2001 7:57 AM
put it in driver seat alone with flowers and let her drive
deliver news while she is destructed trying to pull to freeway

Home:
get a nice setting (candles, silverware etc) for romantic diner for 2. She won't miss it when she locks the door, would she? Get carry out from her favorite restaurant good luck
re: The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...brider
Nov 28, 2001 8:03 AM
I sincerely hope this isn't a huge issue at your house. If it is, then there's either financial isuues you need to take care of (her security is being threatened by your disregard for your family's finances) or time issues you need to address. If you're buyining bikes before either of these things are settled, then you have a serious problem.
re: The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...MikeC
Nov 28, 2001 8:14 AM
I think it's safe to assume that if it were THAT serious an issue, he wouldn't be looking for advice from a bunch of bike-lust addled, maladjusted, adrenaline junkies who hang out on a message board serving one of the most fragile niche markets in the USA.
We're his friends. Of course we can't be trusted! :)
re: The wife comes home tonight. I have a plan...brider
Nov 28, 2001 8:30 AM
Probably looking less for advice and more for justification.
if you have to sneak around.....Jack S
Nov 28, 2001 8:08 AM
why just an S-Works? Blow the wad, man. Do it right, could the last time.
Your PlanJon
Nov 28, 2001 8:18 AM
Cowardly, but probably effective!
agree...why not a custom 7 or C-40? (nm)TB Hallaran
Nov 28, 2001 8:28 AM
but it's NEVER the last time! ;o) -NMTig
Nov 28, 2001 8:55 AM
exactlyJack S
Nov 28, 2001 9:14 AM
That's the whole point- there will always be lighter, cooler, better, more stuff to want and get. This isn't the end, although- who knows- maybe it will be. So why aim low?
Not true. It's always the last time. nmdjg
Nov 28, 2001 11:31 AM
I completely Agreepmf1
Nov 28, 2001 9:03 AM
All this for an S-Works??? If you're going to be so patheitic, at least do it with some style.
You are such a pathetic Wuss!Red
Nov 28, 2001 8:25 AM
Man...do you ask her permission for everything? Dont you have a job? If you are making money I wouldn't worry. Did bullies beat you up in high school?
To me, that's a compliment! (nm)pathetic Wuss!
Nov 28, 2001 8:34 AM
re:or you coulddzrider
Nov 28, 2001 9:05 AM
Mobilize your cycling buddies. Have them riding up and down your street with signs that say stuff like "Welcome home world's greatest wife!" or "Can I clone You?". When she steps out of the car they should gather round and applaud while your best looking friend presents her with champagne and flowers. After the champagne is gone another friend presents you with your new bike.
Meeting her at the airport with flowers...Kristin
Nov 28, 2001 9:08 AM
...will be a nice surprise for her...as long as she thinks its a sincere and spontaneous act motiviated only by your infinate love for her. Once she realizes that you were just buttering her up, her wrath and anger will be more fierce than if you'd just told her straight out about the bike. This could be an event worth selling tickets to. As a matter of fact, if you sell tickets, you can recoup some of the money for the purchase in a show of good faith.

Good luck.

On a serious note: If my husband made a huge purchase without talking it over first, I'd be upset, but could recover. If we discussed it, but hadn't come to an agreement yet, and he bought it anyway, then I'd feel betrayed. My marraige would also be in trouble at that point. But this is just how I would react, and you know you wife better than anyone here.
she'll be fine........until later in the night....dupe
Nov 28, 2001 12:57 PM
"i could understand a de rosa merak or a colnago c-40 or even a lightspeed vortex but if you expect my fogiveness after betraying me for an S-Works...die.....
ugghhh....die....(splat)"

(then a shaken elafantino was sharply awoken by the shrill of his alarm clock).

looking over next to him lay his adored wife blissfully asleep. how he loved her he mused.

fade to black.
also, most airports won't let you meet at the gate anymore (nm)Jack S
Nov 28, 2001 9:15 AM
nm
Better ideaFloater
Nov 28, 2001 9:57 AM
Before you go to the airport, break a window in your house and prop your new steed in the kitchen - then get a pal to keep an on the show for you while you are out.

Get home mit problem person - see the house and gasp in horror "we have been burgled - Jeez, disaster, oh no oh no oh no - it'll all be gone"

Get into the house, "find" the bike, and say "this is just incredible - we've been broken into, they have taken nothing and I found THIS in the kitchen, next to some flowers - we must be the luckiest people on earth"

Oh yeah, and ask the guard pal if you can sleep at his for about a month in the incredily unlikely event that everything doesn't go totally smoothly...
plansTig
Nov 28, 2001 10:55 AM
My wife would be understandably upset if I did that. Not because I bought a bike, but because we didn't talk it over first. We have a wonderful marriage built on trust and communication... things I don't want to step on. Each couple has their own way of managing things. Besides, I'd hate to see what she'd buy when revenge time came around!

Don't butter her up too much. That will make things worse. Just apologize about not talking it over with her first, followed by what you bought and why. After that, you're at her mercy!

OK, here's my plan. We moved into a house last month and have been buying all kinds of house stuff and furniture for the last year. Things are in good shape now, except she is eyeing a $2100 entertainment center and some new paintings. Well, none of that stuff is really needed right NOW, but my old bike sure needs replacement! ;o) Time to put the foot down and get the new bike. My hinting is over, and the plan has been talked about. Just waiting for Christmas to pass after buying for the family... I'm still in a dilemma on what frame to buy, but that is also the fun part!
Coach Pantuzo from "Cheers" method:Shad
Nov 28, 2001 11:36 AM
You deliver much more horrible news to her, then tell her the truth, and it is almost a relief.

Coach: "Sam, your apartment burned down and you lost everything."

Sam: "Oh my God, really!?"

Coach: "No, no, your brother just called and is on his way over."

Sam: "Coach, I hate it when you do that!"
are you related to robert crumb? nmdupe
Nov 28, 2001 12:27 PM
re: Oh! and by the way that diamond ring that I was talking to..TC
Nov 28, 2001 1:11 PM
you about. I got it in California. That's your only salvation is if she out does your purchase. Make sure that the local motel has some vacancies tonight. Now how in the world are you going to get something outright from now on? She's going to be watching you real good now.

TC
THE JIG IS UP!!! Wife knows. 9-year-old spilled the beans!Elefantino
Nov 28, 2001 2:45 PM
Wife just called from DFW on her stopover.

Wife: "So, I understand you just bought a new bike?"

Me: "Um, yeah."

Wife: "Well, then ... Merry Christmas. That's your present!"


No wonder I've been married to her for 20 years.
Your 9 year old has more balls than you do...BWAHHAAA (nm)RM Utin
Nov 28, 2001 2:52 PM
Make sure you still . . .LAIrish
Nov 28, 2001 5:01 PM
do the flowers at the airport! Even more important now that she has granted you absolution(?).
Study History and LearnBuzzy
Nov 28, 2001 5:42 PM
Man - You might be getting off light. I bought a car while my wife was on visit to Mothers. It was a surprise. She never liked it, it was a dog around my neck until I finally got her the car of her choice.
Wives consider anything we give any interest to as competition. Consider your bike as your mistress, cause that is the way she looks at it.
I bought new bike shoes today on sale. She noticed her first trip thru the garage (as in what has he been up to while I have been gone.)
I've been browsing eBay ads, and showed a bike to my wife. She nodded (She is now on notice, I might just bid on it)
I'm glad you did not have to try the flowers and clean car trick to pop the news. She would have seen the flowers were not for her, they were for you.
Be direct - Hey I bought a new bike. What can we get for you?!

Meet her at the airport, with flowers and don't mention the bike unless she brings it up. Admit quickly that you were wrong to try something without consulting her for advice. Wives consider husbands as little boys that will get into trouble at the drop of a hat, if not constantly watched. If the bike comes up, don't spend time talking about the bike. She just had a trip, she has things to tell you. Zip lip and listen.

Last words of advice -

God gave man 5,000 words a day. When we get home, we are at about 4,999. When asked "How was your day, sweetheart" We respond "Fine" Now we have hit 5,000 and we are done.

Guess what God gave her 10,000 words a day, and be the time you get home, she is just getting started. Best marriage advice I can give, especially to those that want to frequently get out of the house and on the road. Find the right times to ask your wife how was your day, or how are you doing - Then Zip the lip, Listen and give her the time. She needs to know that when she needs to express herself, you will be there, for as long as necessary. When she is done, you can go riding all you want, and when you get back, she will be glad to see you.

Married 30 years - Motto - One wife for life
he speaketh the truth (nm)Former Troll
Nov 29, 2001 9:16 AM