|my friends think i suck!||mike1234|
Nov 22, 2001 8:22 AM
|i ride with 4 other guys quite a bit. sometimes for the rides we all show.. sometimes its just 2 of us...
anyhows.. today i got a email from one person that was meant to be sent to another person i ride with. in the e mail it pretty much said that: ride was good but mike sucks at climbing and i had to wait for him etc...
so needless to say i didnt show for the ride wednesday that i said i would show for..
what should i do... i dont ever talk bad about my riding buds and here they are...
what should i do?
|re: my friends think i suck!||bikerduder|
Nov 22, 2001 8:47 AM
|Mike - you mentioned you got the inadvertent email from one of the guys. Maybe you should talk to the other two and find out what they think - could be just one of them is a backstabbing AHole, not all of them. Group riding involves a lot of trust, so if you don't feel right about riding with these guys, find another group of friends. This is one of the reasons I ride alone, BTW. I have found it is almost impossible to locate riders that have a similar pace to me, and we are out of sync on at least one aspect of riding, whether that is climbing, downhill, endurance, energy level, etc. Good Luck|
|re: my friends think i suck!||DINOSAUR|
Nov 22, 2001 8:48 AM
|It was probably just a comment he made in idle conversation.
Sounds like good incentive to train hard and smoke them. Sometimes little words like that are good for training fuel...gives you a reason to train... it's also good to ride with guys who are slightly stronger than you so you can improve..try one ride and see what happens..I bet if you casually mentioned the email to your friend he would turn ten shades of red and it might teach him a lesson and a valuable one at that.....for what it's worth I suck climbing also...
|make them guess||jacques|
Nov 22, 2001 9:04 AM
|The assumption made by almost all amateur riders on almost all group rides is that everyone is hammering as hard as they can.
What if you are on a serious training regimen that doesn't allow you to do that in November? Could be!
|find new friends||xyz|
Nov 22, 2001 9:37 AM
|now quit whining|
Nov 22, 2001 10:37 AM
|I ride with a regular group of guys every weekend. In addition to cycling together they are also very close friends. Dispareging remarks are frequent regarding so and so's behaviour/bike/performance, it doesn't mean we don't respect each other. Most of it is in good fun and none of it brings into question anyone's character.
Group riding involves riders of differing abilities and some accomodation must take place, or maybe not. You may want to suggest that the guys not wait for you on the road and then have a regroup spot at the end of the hard hills or whatever works for you.
Some good advice from Miss Manners; people talk about each other, it is natural as we are all observers of the human scene. However, I can understand your resentment about intercepting an email. I think for your own peace of mind, I would talk with this person about it and get it cleared up between you.
Climbing skills can be improved regardless if you will ever be a great climber or not. Try not to overdo your pulls prior to the hills, shed a few pounds if need be,work on your form or train harder.
Nov 22, 2001 10:58 AM
|Riding with a group shouldn't presuppose an equality of abilities. Otherwise there would be very |
few groups to ride with. Also, friends wait for one another or otherwise arrange to regroup at
certain points. If the motive behind your friend's remark is to criticize and thereby exclude then
you need to find other friends. If, as is the usual case, it's an offhand observation, then no big
deal. The two guys I ride with and myself all give each other an outrageously hard time. It's
part of the group ethos. Yet we'd literally carry one another on our backs up a hill if that were
necessary. Good friends joke, compete, and harass, but never disparage. You'll have to
determine which is which.
|tell them not to wait||Dog|
Nov 22, 2001 12:34 PM
|I sometimes ride with guys who can kick my butt up any hill (Cat 1's). When they start pulling off, I tell them, "no need to wait at the top," or something like that. They usually do, anyway. Give them an out, and then they likely won't resent waiting. Say ahead of time, "You know, I'm pretty slow on the climbs. Any suggestions how I might improve? I hate to always be slowing you guys down." I'd bet money they'll say something like, "Hey, don't worry, we've all been there." They might actually try to help you, too.
It is strong incentive to get faster, though. Riding with them some will make you stronger. Don't ride with them all the time, though, and you might start not liking it.
First step, if possible, is to lose weight. Drop a good 10 pounds or so if you can. Don't go out and start buying every light gizmo for your bike, though - it won't make that much difference, and you'll be disappointed with the results.
Nov 22, 2001 3:28 PM
|Ditto to everything Dog said. Especially the body weight part. Just lose it. I've been fat, and I've been lean. When fat, I'm slow. When lean, I'm fast and people are trying to talk me into racing on Tuesday and Thursday nights. The difference is huge. A lean rider is a happy rider, no doubt about it.|
|I'd probably still be lost in St. Mary's Co ...||Humma Hah|
Nov 22, 2001 5:30 PM
|... if MB1 had not stopped to wait at the top for me when I was struggling late in a very long ride a few months back.
I stop and wait at the top of hills for my wife (or used to, she's learned a new trick of grabbing on to my backpack and letting me tow her up the hill).
I feel bad holding up a ride. But when someone else makes me wait, I feel pretty good about the shape I'm in. I agree with Dog ... before the ride, be sure you know the route or have a cue sheet for it, let them know you'll catch up. Who knows, maybe they'll stop at a 7-11 for a drink, and you'll blast by ... I've done that, had the paceline racing to catch my cruiser.
|re: my friends think i suck!||grandpa_m|
Nov 22, 2001 3:08 PM
|Bring it out in the open. Here's how: Forward the email
to your other friends and cc the one that sent it. It'll
do two things, you'll find out how your other buds feel
about you and embarrass the hell out of the guy that sent
the original email.
|re: my friends think i suck!||Leisure|
Nov 23, 2001 2:41 AM
|I like Jon and Dog's advice a lot (well, gee, actually everyone's advice is pretty sound). But like you say you never talk bad about your riding buds and here is so-and-so saying such-and-such. If you think these things are not said in jest and that it may be a consistent trend then you shouldn't take these guys seriously...as friends, riding buds, whatever. To care about proving yourself to them when they talk behind your back and you don't is basically subjecting yourself to a double-standard when you should walk (ride?) away. It has nothing to do with riding ability. It has to do with finding quality company. But just like Jon said, it could be just the way they talk to each other. Do they ever take shots at each other as a form of joking around? If this is the case, you could even "feed into" it a bit, taking superficial shots at them joking around and see how they handle it. If they can't joke about themselves they shouldn't be joking (or taking shots, whichever the case may be) about you.|
|don't be so sensitive||dano|
Nov 25, 2001 5:01 AM
|Heck with what they think. Show up and ride anyway and don't worry about what they think or might be saying behind your back. You ride how you want to ride. If they want to wait on you, they will. If they don't, they won't. You can only ride as fast as you are able. Stronger riders always have a choice to make whether or not to wait on slower riders. If they are that much faster and stronger and they don't like waiting, they can double-back and do the damn hill twice while you continue on your merry way. That way everybody gets what they want from the ride.
Then again, I have an independent streak in me that leads me to ride when I want, where I want, with (or without) whom I want, and at the pace I want. If faster riders want to wait on me, they can or can't. I don't care. I know where I am and where I'm going and I can take care of myself. Maybe that's why I don't get any faster! However, I do stay with slower riders either by doing intervals and letting them catch on during recovery or doubling back.