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I HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!!!! Zilch, zip, nada, nothing til(54 posts)

I HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!!!! Zilch, zip, nada, nothing tilSpinchick
Oct 9, 2001 1:40 PM
CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! Hubby has declared a moratorium on bike-related expenditures. Which means, of course, NO warm socks, NO ear muffs, NO new tires/tubes or 14 cog, single sprocket for the fixte-to-be, NO FREAKING chamois butter. The man is delirious I tell you. Somebody needs to talk to him. Believe me, I have tried EVERYTHING!!!!

He told me to write it down as a list and he'd see about getting it to Santa for Christmas. THAT'S 2 MONTHS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! help?
At least Gladlock sandwich bags fall under the grocery category.Spinchick
Oct 9, 2001 1:43 PM
Chamois Butt(e)r must be in grocery category, too. nmBrooks
Oct 9, 2001 2:53 PM
Is this a totally unwarranted moratorium? nmLen J
Oct 9, 2001 1:48 PM
It's getting cold enough around here where we couldSpinchick
Oct 9, 2001 2:09 PM
store our food out on the front porch. No, I think we could do without the new refridgerator. And that stupid furnace. Who needs it?
said it before, i'll say it againJs Haiku Shop
Oct 9, 2001 1:49 PM
having a thing is often not as pleasurable as wanting a thing. i'm not sure what the origin or exact phrasing of that thought might be, but i often find it more than true.

granted, having a nice airborne spectre with a full ultegra kit and a fancy wheelset would be a necessity if there were 0 road bikes in my stable, there are >0 road bikes in my stable. disclaimer: this is not flame bait.

my advice to you, spinchick: you do not need more cycling gear. be happy with what you have. you can endure. you will survive.

on the other hand, there are no single-speed 56" surly steamrollers built-up from excel sports/boulder for $834 in my stable. now, is wanting a surly truly more pleasurable than having a surly? i think not.

need i remind you people that my 30th birthday is next month?
Okay, well my 37th is in January. And I really justSpinchick
Oct 9, 2001 2:02 PM
felt like whining. I thought the sandwich bags were pretty creative though.
Okay, well my 37th is in January. And I really justcapnjim01
Oct 9, 2001 4:41 PM
well my 50th was saturday 10/6 i was going to do 50 miles on my 50th however low fifties temp. rain and very windy. sorry i wimped out just could not ride in those conditions.
re: HE cut YOU off???Akirasho
Oct 9, 2001 2:12 PM
You cut him off and we'll see how long this lasts...

We abide.

Remain In Light.
Put Divorce Lawyer on Speed Dial. . .js5280
Oct 9, 2001 2:21 PM
Desperate times call for desperate measures ;-)

C'mon, can't you keep control of your man? I thought that's what women did best ;-) I'm sure he'll learn the errors of his ways soon enough.

Also make him realize by making your cycling purchases illegal, it will drive you to a life of crime to support your habit and you'll start to frequent the underbelly of the cycling black market. Does he really want the mother of his children leading such a life?
I thought I was already frequenting the underbelly of theSpinchick
Oct 9, 2001 2:52 PM
cycling black market here? Oh no, this is just the gutter. Sorry. My mistake.
re: I HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!!!! Zilch, zip, nada, nothing tilDINOSAUR
Oct 9, 2001 2:36 PM
When my wife gets mad, she just quits talking to me. Drives me nuts after about three days. Whenever I ask if anything is wrong she just says "nothing". Sometimes silence speaks better than words. Advice from an old married guy....
Tell Him.."NO bike stuff, NO sex". See what he does. nmnestorl
Oct 9, 2001 3:08 PM
DON'T DO THATStarliner
Oct 9, 2001 4:16 PM
Don't use no sex as a manipulator to get what you want... he might go looking for it elsewhere. Not only that, it's a whory thing to do to a man.

I don't know what you can do other than to love him a little more. That'd soften (harden?) me up if I was him.
you have a point :-). I withdraw my advise nm.nestorl
Oct 9, 2001 4:24 PM
Don't worry,Spinchick
Oct 10, 2001 4:30 AM
that's not my style. Plus, how fair would THAT be? I'd be cut off twice! I don't THINK so.
Well aren't weKristin
Oct 9, 2001 3:27 PM
a healthy bunch of communicators? The psychologist in me is shocked. :-) Restrictions suck, but I often like them on the flip side. The only one I did not like was not being allowed to get the prom dress I wanted. But I'm over that now...sorta.
wanna swap?Dog
Oct 9, 2001 3:41 PM
My wife just learned what I've spent recently getting ready for a big race. Blew up.

Want to trade? I'll share my chamois butter :-)

Doug
I'm not sure your wife would be any happierSpinchick
Oct 9, 2001 3:45 PM
with me. :-0
lol.nmnestorl
Oct 9, 2001 4:05 PM
Too funny!ColnagoFE
Oct 10, 2001 6:43 AM
My wife is pretty understanding about my cycling purchases and I probably don't spend near as much as most of y'all, but I dread having to tell her after a large purchase how much something cost.

ME: Take a look at my new wheels!
She: How much?
Me: Well...I did get them on sale....and they will really be nice for that hill climb...
She: How much?
Join the club chickee!look271
Oct 9, 2001 4:16 PM
I have, in all of the time that I've been married (14yrs) and riding (8yrs, I think?) gotten 1 pair of Pearl bike shorts for a birthday. That's it. It's always shirts, pants, etc. But you know what? That isn't so bad because if she got me anything cycling related I probably wouldn't like it.
Go spend your time........Dave Hickey
Oct 9, 2001 4:44 PM
Spend your time out drinking in bars(without him) and see which he prefers. My wife would much rather I be on my bike than out drinking
re: I HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!!!! Zilch, zip, nada, nothing tilreverse it
Oct 9, 2001 4:46 PM
Start buying him little things that he has wanted. Nothing major just stuff he has been looking at and then not getting himself.
Don't ask, don't tell.hms
Oct 9, 2001 4:54 PM
My wife and I have survived 14+ years of marriage by following a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I don't ask about the long distance phone bills (hours' long telephone calls to her sister, etc.), I don't tell about expenditures on my hobbies. Given that my birthday is in November, my wife usually tells me not to buy anything around this time of year. My reaction -- I buy that which I really want/need any don't tell about it. If I get a duplicate for my birthday or christmas, I just keep my mouth shut.
get a 0% credit cardnuke
Oct 9, 2001 4:53 PM
I get those all the time in my mail, now that Greenie has dropped the short term prime to what... 2.5%?

Most of the credit card ap's say 0% on purchases and balance transfers for 6 months. That way....you can charge all your bike stuff and not pay for it for 6 months. Ain't that like buying it 6 months from now when the moratorium is lifted?

Or you can convince a friend to charge stuff for ya on his/her card and you pay 'em back. I did this for a boyfriend in college for his obsession with building up his Trans Am and it worked for about 3 months until his Dad found out what he was up to.

I think that this method is called the Santa Loop Hole. :-)
Ah...The America I know and love! (nm)Kristin
Oct 9, 2001 5:00 PM
Christmas is only Two Months AwayGus Riley
Oct 9, 2001 5:40 PM
Christmas is ONLY TWO MONTHS AWAY??!! Oh my! I've got to get busy shopping!
I say be creative and buy the stuff you'll need anyway.nigel
Oct 9, 2001 6:15 PM
If you can't buy the little things you'll need on your own without his knowing (if you two discuss account balances often and whatnot), be creative. Have a friend order the stuff for you and have it delivered to your work. Pay said angel back immediately (or ASAP). Or, secretly bring lunch a couple of days in a row or stretch some leftovers in order to save bucks here and there for stuff like socks, booties, earwarmers, and chamois butter. Fortunately, they're small, cheap items.

Your cycling is very important to you, and you're a big girl now (a grown woman, that is), so you should have what makes you happy, especially since they're small, inexpensive items that will hardly break ANY budget. You'll have plenty of "big-ticket" items for him and "Santa" for Xmas, I'm sure. :)

I'm not telling you to "sneak around" on your hubby, but it does seem that he's being a tad unreasonable to restrict your spending on necessary cold-weather togs and cogs. Would he prefer that you not exercise and (possibly) gain weight for the holidays? Surely, he's sensible enough to see this, Chickie?

If I had the $$ (I'm on the dole and doing freelance when I can get it--and my wife TOTALLY sees the need for me to stay happy and healthy), I'd offer you a 0% loan. Sorry, but I can't spare it now. :(

Get the small things, and RIDE! :)

Nige
Just Ride nmStew
Oct 9, 2001 6:31 PM
Get a second job as a bike courier! (nm)Jon
Oct 9, 2001 6:38 PM
re: I HAVE BEEN CUT OFF!!!! Zilch, zip, nada, nothing tilcogsworth
Oct 9, 2001 6:54 PM
My wife finally went through the roof over my spending habits a few months ago. The credit card balances were killing us, and she was right. So what I did was sell off some unused stuff online, and I also cut out frivilous extras and saved any extra cash in a water bottle on my garage. When I need something I use the slush fund cash to buy it from my LBS instead of bargain hunting online. I pay a little more upfront, but there is no interest later, and wifey is happy because she doesn't see Colorado Cyclist et al on the CCard statement each month I've also built up a pretty good relationship with the LBS.
Look on the bright side. At least you can ride. Trade ya.Elefantino
Oct 9, 2001 7:26 PM
During my convalescence and recuperation my wife has let me buy:
• A Mercatone Uno kit (pink, of course)
• A USPS kit.
• A new Pedros tool kit
• A new Minora Ergo mag trainer.
• A new Selle Shark gel saddle (which I HATE but can't send back, so look for it on an eBay site near you)
• Six 2000 USPS jerseys, which I turned around and sold for double that I paid for them, with all proceeds going to the LAF
• New PI gloves
• Two new Performance elite bibs (the one I had was cut off my body at the accident scene, so I reasoned that I earned an extra)

and yet, I CAN'T RIDE FOR THREE MONTHS!!!

OK, we're both whiners.
You can't have your cake and eat it too....DINOSAUR
Oct 9, 2001 8:34 PM
My wife and I have been married for 35 years. We are church going folks but we do not exchange gifts at Christmas. My wife says every day of the year is Christmas for me (and she is correct). We have everything we need at this point of our life. Our money goes toward our 15 year old daughter. She gets a few gifts and we give her some cash and that keeps her happy.
When I retired (: I took a 25% cut in pay. I don't have money to burn as when I was working. We ran our Visa bill up and we had to come to a compomise. I make one bike related purchase a month. I plan in advance and look for sales. The most common purchase are tires and tubes. I just bought a wind jacket for winter as my old one was damged in a crash.
I think a compromise is in order, there must be something that you need, but not the whole ball of wax. You can't have the whole cake and eat it too. I know, life is not fair, but mom's like you are what make the world turn. Take a course in how to be a tightwade and skimp and save and you can have part of the cake but not all of it...

Dino

Hey, how about a new SUV? Whoops, just kidding, we don't won't to go there!!!!
Thanks for all the um, advice and encouragement.Spinchick
Oct 10, 2001 4:38 AM
Hubby really is a reasonable man. He was just reacting to a recent string of necessary large purchases (fridge and furnace). I told him I don't really need anything high-priced right now - just a couple of little things (my ears are gonna get really cold if I don't get a hat of some kind). I believe (hope) he's coming around. When he saw me pull the plastic bags off my feet, he grimaced in a mildly guilty kinda way.

In the overall scheme of things, I've got it pretty good. It's nice to get perspective from others sometimes.

Sincerely,

The Whiner
Suggestion.MB1
Oct 10, 2001 5:27 AM
Tell hubby that you have something special you want to share with him this Saturday. Tell him. "We're going shopping!"

Then take him and the little biker Dumpster Diving. Make a list beforehand of the cycling things you are looking for and share it with him. Be flexible-lots of items can be used in other ways. I bet you can find several nice outfits and good things for around the house too.

Bonus points for stopping at his bosses house.

Let us know how it goes.
"bonus points for stopping at bosses house"...drunk :-) NMJs Haiku Shop
Oct 10, 2001 5:33 AM
And offering to share the lunch you just gleaned! nmMB1
Oct 10, 2001 5:35 AM
I knew that I could count on the two of you toSpinchick
Oct 10, 2001 5:41 AM
come up with the best suggestions. Thanks ever so much.
Did you get the pic I sent today?MB1
Oct 10, 2001 5:43 AM
Just tell hubby you are going to recreate the scene for $$$.
Got it. How much do you think it could bring? nmSpinchick
Oct 10, 2001 5:49 AM
Depends on how wet the mermaid gets. nmMB1
Oct 10, 2001 5:52 AM
THAT was a mermaid??? Hmmmmm. nmSpinchick
Oct 10, 2001 5:59 AM
Do what I do.bill
Oct 10, 2001 7:11 AM
Lie. Well, I don't exactly lie, but I horde cash (as some others have recommended), and I maintain the discretion necessary to keep this, as with any affair, secret.
She knows but she doesn't want to know ("ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies"), and it IS preferable to the other kind of affair, so it works.
Oh, and I do try to keep it to a dull roar. Using found money for this stuff is one thing; if baby needs new shoes, you know, baby needs new shoes.
How many husbands and wives here...Kristin
Oct 10, 2001 10:23 AM
...can see a discernable pattern in their marraige surrounding the cycling season? Does your life look like this, hmmm? I get the impression that Sept. & Oct. are not a fun months for single sided cycling households.
Funny! Well done. (nm)mickey-mac
Oct 10, 2001 10:56 AM
nm
Requires a 4-D chart to show the pattern if you both ride. nmMB1
Oct 10, 2001 11:30 AM
time variable, tooDog
Oct 10, 2001 11:43 AM
It would need a "time spent on biking" variable, too. I've found that to be much more important than the money.

Doug
Tried to do that...Kristin
Oct 10, 2001 12:22 PM
...but it was becoming too involved. I needing to covert monies & hours spent into a common figure requires that I'd know net expendable income and base hours available. ...more involved than this single girl wanted to get! I do ponder on this whole marraige/cycling thing. If I intend to cycle long term, I think I should add "cyclist" to my list of "mate must have's."
Depends...Spinchick
Oct 10, 2001 1:21 PM
on whether you plan to have kids. An understanding, non-obsessed, recreational cyclist is probably better if you do. My husband doesn't really complain about my time on the bike. And I wouldn't be able to spend as much time riding if he wanted to ride as much too. Weekend mornings are his with our daughter. He loves that time with her and doesn't begrudge me the time to ride. And I get my weekday rides in when she's in preschool.

That said, I still try to coax him to ride with me sometimes. As soon as we get the tandem w/kidback or a trailercycle, we'll do more rides together.
Been there, done that. Be careful what you wish for.MB1
Oct 10, 2001 4:29 PM
Wishes come true in strange and amazing ways. I thought I rode a lot untill I moved in with Miss M (about 6 months after we got married). Little did I know.....
MarriageACE-
Oct 10, 2001 11:26 PM
Definitely marry a cyclist, you wouldn't want to be "unequally yoked " with someone of another religion!
She/He Moneygrzy
Oct 10, 2001 12:56 PM
Simple, you gotta have your stash of money that he/she doesn't know about. Also, barter and trade for parts with other people on a short leash. Fortunately my wife bikes and I can make all things good again by giving her bike some TLC. Still I have to be a bit careful as to what I do spend money on. This is probably why I'm on the Shimano side of the fence ;-)

Ultimately, look at him longingly and tell him something's missing and that your needs aren't being met. That'll get him going. ;-) Realize that us guys are the "slower sex" and it takes a while for us to realize some of the more obvious things when it comes to relationships and harmony.
Used to have one of those.look271
Oct 10, 2001 5:18 PM
She found out, Ouch. Even my kids rat on me. Want a set of slightly used children? They're cute, only 7 and 9? (Kidding!)