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One day early... but happy Canadian Thanksgiving(1 post)

One day early... but happy Canadian ThanksgivingMarlon
Oct 7, 2001 3:45 PM
I'm an atheist, but on some days, I feel like I believe... and that's why I'm putting this guy up. No offense I hope - take it tongue in cheek and give Thanks, because we've all got a lot to give thanks for!


The Cyclist's Prayer

Lord, I am a cyclist.
Hear me pray.
I am just a lowly cyclist
I have freakishly big legs and no chest
But Lord please hear my prayer
I have a few requests

Let us pray

I. O Lord give me fitness

For getting up the hills
I don't know why I haven't gotten faster
With my new bike, heart monitor and magic pills
I know what need to work on
It's my sprinting, (and climbing, flats and downhills), I hear
I promise I'll start training
I promise, for sure, next year

Let us pray

II. O Lord grant me harmony

With my significant other
Those personal relationships
can really be quite a bother
while I understand the problem
it should never interfere
with what we all know is important:
riding, racing, and gear.
(For us single people:
Lord find me a (chick/guy) who rides
Who is hot, and faster than my ex
Or at least someone who'll let me take off riding
And come back and still get sex)

Let us pray

III. O Lord give me definition

In my calves and in my thighs
And grant me clearer vision
When lactic acid clouds my eyes
And for my eyes give me shades
That I wear even in dark weather
I give me lots of clingy lycra
(In fluorescent euro colours, I think it makes my butt look better)

Let us pray

IV. O Lord give me titanium

For the lightness that it brings
And carbon fiber, and 11 cogs
And new suspension fork springs
And disc brakes, and custom wheels
And two hundred dollar chainrings
And see me through my bankruptcy
When I buy too many things

Let us pray

V. And in conclusion, Lord please forgive me

When I'm dropped off the back or sucking wheel
Or when I crash in a stupid way
Like when I had that banana I was trying to peel in the pack
Or when I block people in the singletrack
(Is all that cursing for real?)
I'm trying. I'm getting better.

Now hurry up and give me a new bike.

Copyright 2001, The Cycling Source