Sep 20, 2001 2:52 PM
|PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT FOR THE BIKER |
This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is an arrangement that accepts the perpetual continuity of pre-existing relationship between the first two parties and that a three-way coexistence shall be created consisting of the following participants:
Spouse A (the non biking loved one) hereafter referred to as SA; Spouse B (the biker) hereafter referred to as SB, and The Bike (the glorious one) hereafter referred to as TB.
Condition I: Acknowledgment-- SA shall henceforth recognize that SB and TB have forged a long standing and unbreakable relationship and shall never attempt to permanently divide, or otherwise separate the two.
Condition II: Cohabitation-- SA and SB shall agree upon comfortable and equal living quarters for TB, its related service equipment and riding gear. TB shall only be exposed to the elements of nature during rides. All other times TB shall have access to warm, dry, low traffic living space. If at any time there should be conflict w/ SA, SB or furniture, TB shall have preference as to where it stays. In SA's absence TB shall be
permitted bedroom space (if not already arranged).
Condition III: Exclusivity and Infidelity-- At no time shall SA, SB, or TB be loaned out to be ridden by anyone outside the three-way relationship. SA must request from SB permission to ride, fondle or otherwise physically contact TB and only do so in the presence of SB.
Condition IV: Equal Time-- SA shall be guaranteed quality time equivalent to TB unless it conflicts with TB in which case TB gets preference. Service time shall be guaranteed and considered a separate requirement. In the event of emergency, ie SA stranded, house catches fire etc, SB shall complete whatever TB related activity as soon as possible and attend said emergency. In the event of a in-law visit or should for any reason, SB become depressed, or otherwise in need of stress relief, SB shall be permitted as much time w/TB or TB related activities, magazines, books, events etc as needed until such time SB feels better.
Condition V Parts-- SA and SB will agree that SB be permitted and encouraged to purchase any and all TB related equipment at any and all times, whether they be repairs, replacements, or upgrades. Any replaced parts shall be considered cherished spares and provided appropriate storage space equivalent to that provided for TB, preferably under the bed, favorite closet or on coffee table as a conversation item. New Items immediately installed shall require TB to be put on prominent display (ie in
front of TV). Newly purchased items not immediately installed shall be put on display as a centerpiece during the day and they shall be kept under the pillow of SB at bed time, unless it is potentially dangerous to said part. This shall be for no less than 5 days or until they are installed whichever comes first.
Condition VI: Finance-- All household finance shall be considered separate from TB finance. If conflict should arise then TB gets preference.
Condition VII: Disposition-- In the event SA has a compatible bike SB can offer spare parts to be temporarily installed for use by SA until such time SB requires there use on TB. No prior notice is required. All equipment and The Bike they are installed upon or intended for, shall remain the property of SB come hell or high water, and shall not be relinquished under any circumstance including death, in which case the surviving party will be obligated to complete the upgrades (expressed, implied or dreamed of) and bury the bike with the departed, unless TB or SB requests a separate grave in which case they shall be buried side by side and SA shall not be buried between them.
Condition VIII: Protected Communications-- All TB related communications intended for SB, be they voice (phone messages, visitors); print (mail-order catalogues, etc.); or electronic (e-mail, buddies calling to ride, etc.) shall be forwarded and delivered to SB as expediently as possible. Furthermore, no censorship of
said communications shall occur, and SA agrees to refrain from making disparaging comments about the content of these communications and/or their source(s).
Extended Conditions: TB shall never be the focus of an argument nor brought up as part of one. TB shall never be discussed w/ in-laws unless said discussion is in praise or defense of TB. No retaliation shall ever be taken against TB.
All of the above is to be considered iron-clad and in stone and non negotiable. Unless of course SB or TB says different.
|re: any amendments?||Allen az|
Sep 20, 2001 3:38 PM
|Way too much time on your hands. Go ride your bike.|
|re: any amendments?||harlett|
Sep 20, 2001 3:54 PM
|got it in an email. thought i'd share.....guess you didn't like it....sorry for the waste of your reading time|
|E-mail....Oh, ok. nevermind me ; ) sorry (nm)||Allen az|
Sep 20, 2001 4:15 PM
|Great, but what SA would sign? nm||Dog|
Sep 20, 2001 4:03 PM
|the PERFECT SA.....*S*||harlett|
Sep 20, 2001 4:15 PM
Sep 20, 2001 5:17 PM
|The 'perfect' SA would ride, and therefore understand.|
Sep 20, 2001 5:23 PM
|the perfect SA would have a sense of humor about the whole thing....oh and probably ride!!!!!!!!!|
|you guys need to loosen your collars||zzz|
Sep 20, 2001 5:59 PM
|Even I can tell it's a joke. You must be too stressed to see humor. If I had given this to my wife before we were married she would have rolled on the floor with laughter. Then she would have signed it and framed it to have proof of how insane I get at times about bicycling.|
|I laughed, you just couldn't hear it :-) nm||Dog|
Sep 20, 2001 6:57 PM
|I showed this to my Fiancee...||GW Rider|
Sep 21, 2001 4:48 AM
|Before we got married back in June. She thought it was hilarious, I even mentioned it to the mother-in-law who laughed also, bless her.
This prenup just shows how obsessive we can be at times and does a fine job of enunciating the humor in it.
|should we risk it with the wives?||Dog|
Sep 21, 2001 5:41 AM
|You can do post-nuptual agreements, too. My wife and I are doing a little counseling now, and the primary topic seems to be my riding the bike. Suppose I should introduce this little gem into the equation? I don't think she would see the humor.
|Will You Be My Solicitor? (nm)||Jon|
Sep 20, 2001 7:07 PM
Sep 20, 2001 7:10 PM
|Harlett, consider yourself solicited. (puns intended) LOL.|
|are you sure?||harlett|
Sep 20, 2001 11:52 PM
|you haven't read the "post-solicitation agreement" you'll need to sign..*S*|
|Here's my "X" (nm)||Jon|
Sep 21, 2001 8:15 AM
|Good thing Miss M didn't see this before we got married||MB1|
Sep 21, 2001 5:02 AM
|She would have forced me to sign as SA.|
|One loophole.....||Len J|
Sep 21, 2001 5:09 AM
|that needs to be closed. The agreement as written seems to only relate to the (specific)Bike as of the Marriage date. Wouldn't want a cagey att'y (you know who you are) arguing that the agreement did not relate to a replacement bike.
|How many bikes constitutes a harem? nm||MB1|
Sep 21, 2001 5:14 AM
|Would more than 1 Bike constitute Infidelity?(nm)||Len J|
Sep 21, 2001 5:27 AM
|Wasn't it legal in Utah & OK to rent in Nevada? nm||MB1|
Sep 21, 2001 6:20 AM
|re: any amendments?||Turtleherder|
Sep 21, 2001 6:00 AM
|Might want to throw in something akin to a morals clause, but in reverse. Specifically that kinky or deviate behavior on the part of SB, such as buying a recumbent, would not negate the agreement. (laughing)|
|Don't forget: What's mine is mine and what's your is ours. (nm)||Brian C.|
Sep 21, 2001 10:23 AM