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I think it's time for a Fred post.(30 posts)

I think it's time for a Fred post.Len J
Sep 13, 2001 3:39 PM
Alright, we've all been a Fred more than once in our lives. Time to fess up.

Tell me about when you deserved a 10 on the Fred scale.

My biggest problem is going to be selecting one story. Here goes.

Right after I moved to Memphis, in the mid 80's, I went out riding not knowing a soul. I come around a corner and there is a group ahead of me so I catch up and latch on the back. Tried to speak to the group as people finished thier pulls with mixed results, but didn't think much of it. When it's my turn to pull, I put in what I think is a good pull, I am careful to maintain speed & stay predictible (after all I'm trying to make a good impression). Well after about a 5 minute pull, I signal off & look back to see if it's clear to pull off & find out there is no one behind me. They all had turned off. Nowhere in sight.

About 2 weeks later, I'm in a bike shop & a guy comes up to me & says:

"were you the guy on X road in our paceline on such and such a day?"

Yea, where did you guys go?

"We were in the MS 150, we followed the route, Where were you going? We tried yelling, but you never looked back. Glad you're OK.

I was physically, mentally I was.......a Fred.


Thanks for the chuckle!jtolleson
Sep 13, 2001 4:06 PM
I haven't laughed much in the last couple days, but did at that. Believe me, it sounds like something I would do.

My Fred (Fredda?) moment came about 5 years ago when no matter how hard I tried, my front derailleur would not shift out of the large chain ring. I studied it; I adjusted it. I gave up. I took it to the shop.

He pulled my cockeyed frame pump off and said "this is blocking your derailleur." He handed it to me. I hung my head and left.

He didn't charge me.
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.Allen az
Sep 13, 2001 4:26 PM
I think I was a Fred when I spent $65 on a BICYCLING magazine jersey. I thought I looked pretty cool in the thing 'till another rider told me "you should change your clothes." (I was a total newbie at the time).

Could've bought a nice Izumi jersey instead.
...a close callfiltersweep
Sep 13, 2001 4:35 PM
This is not a proper Fred incident at all, but it did put me in an unusual situation:

A few weeks ago I left work early and lit out on my ride (oblivious to the fact that it was the last friday of the month)... anyway, my route had to cross the critical mass run (which is a nightmare here- they pick the busiest street downtown, and take up BOTH lanes during rush hour, creating a huge traffic snarl- it is so nasty they need police escort, and it is always followed by the cacophony of hundreds of car horns... I've lived on this same street my last three apartments)... it was embarrassing to even be NEAR this madness. I'll probably be flamed, but I don't think it is helpful to incite the wrath of motorists during Friday rush hour! I was thoroughly heckled for declining numerous invitations to join them.
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.Avanti Guy
Sep 13, 2001 4:42 PM
Well that actually made me Laugh Out Loud, thanks for the laugh...
Still not sure what I find more amusing, you riding along pointing out road hazzards thinking your pulling along a bunch but with no one behind you, or Doug with poop on his face :)...
My Fred story (one of them...)look271
Sep 13, 2001 4:49 PM
While doing the Seagull century in Salisbury MD several years ago, 2 friends of mine and I decided to do it on a tandem and swap riders throughout the ride. Which of the other 2 bikes would we ride (we are all similar size, and Seagull is a breeze of a century). Let's see; my old Raleigh, Dave's old C-dale, or Rick's Team Motorola Merckx (sp?). You know what we rode. I took the 1st solo ride. Pulled into the 1st sag stop looking all cool. Slowed down, tried to clip out. Couldn't. Fell over, right in front of several hundred people. Mr. Cool.
is this Freddish enuf?Velosnob
Sep 13, 2001 4:52 PM
I dropped my water bottle while leading a line of about 10, once. sure made me feel stupid.
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.quadzilla
Sep 13, 2001 5:00 PM
Came to a stop light (longish) and got behind a UPS truck. Instead of unclipping, held onto the back of the truck. I looked down to see something on my computer....the light turns green, truck pulls away.....I fall front of a line of traffic !!
How does fred feel about all this?mk_42
Sep 13, 2001 5:04 PM
So I've figured out from context that "Fred" means "ass" or "poser." But where does this come from? Does this not strike anyone as kind of an odd sort of thing? And are there any people out there named Fred and how do they feel about all this?

Not exactly a fred but similar. My story, from highschool:
Important preface: I'm NOT a morning person. I would constantly oversleep and only half wake up enough to get on my bike and start pedaling. Usually I would wake up from my parents or sister getting ready (I should have already left by then).
So this one day I'm sleeping away. I hear my sister getting ready. I sleepily try and ignore it. Then it stops and I think "shit, I'm SO late, she's already left." I bolt out of bed, get dressed, get on my bike and start pedaling.
While on the road something strikes me as not quite right but my brain is still sleeping so I can't figure it out. Then slowly it trickles in. It's dark. There are very few cars. They have their headlights on. It's dark. Then I figure it out: it's NIGHT. My sister was getting ready for bed, not getting up. In fact everyone was still awake when I got back so I couldn't even try and pretend it didn't happen.

re: I think it's time for a Fred post.capnjim01
Sep 13, 2001 5:46 PM
I was in a hurry to go for a ride so when I put new tires on I put the back tire on in the wrong direction so the tred was opposite from the front and the marking on the side walls were on opposite sides
that's the best you can do?Dog
Sep 13, 2001 6:00 PM
Heck, I do stuff like that every day.

Come on, come up with a real dork story, like:

*grabbing a cup of (what you think is) water at a rest stop and pouring it over your head - but it's Gatorade

*showing your wife how deft you are at replacing a water bottle in the cage, and then dropping it, running over it and exploding it with the rear tire, also in front of a bunch of other riders

*pulling out of a pedal half way through an intersection in front of a bunch of cars

*having a big farmer blow on your shoulder you don't know is there

*exploding 3 tubes with your CO2 inflator while your buddy anxiously waits for you 140 miles into a fast double, while others ride on, because you didn't see the gash in the tire

*getting dropped big time because you foolishly took a long pull right before a big hill while riding with stronger riders you were trying to impress

BTW, if it was important, you could have turned the front wheel around.

that's the best you can do?Allen az
Sep 13, 2001 6:10 PM
If he turned the front wheel around, the magnet (for computer), might not have worked. This is what happened to my uncle; It took us forever to figure out why he was averaging 0.0mph for the ride.
that's the best you can do?capnjim01
Sep 14, 2001 4:26 AM
ok how about the time I fell over at the start of The Assault on Mt. Mitchell in front of hundreds of riders. Or the time I had a flat at the Tour of Lake Norman in the pouring rain pinched two tubes trying to change the tire and had to wait 15 minutes on the sag wagon while my buddies road on. before I became a REAL rider I would wear shorts, high top white socks keds and a t-shirt. I don't consider getting dropped a fred thing since I do it so often.
Who is Fred?Dutchy
Sep 13, 2001 5:52 PM
I always associate Fred with Fred Flinstone because he was always doing silly things getting into trouble etc. and was quite odd.

Any thoughts?

Who is Fred? It can't be Freddie Rodriguez! -NMTig
Sep 13, 2001 7:04 PM
Don't know if it's nyone........Len J
Sep 14, 2001 4:00 AM
Fred just connotes an image that fits. (IMHO)

Remember, this is fram a guy with a name like Leonard! (LOL)

re: I think it's time for a Fred post.Dutchy
Sep 13, 2001 6:39 PM
One time a friend came Mountain Bike riding with me and my brother. He had heard lots of "fishing stories" about our prowess on the trails.

The three of had just left home and were tackling the first piece of dirt. My friend was behind me watching to see how it's supposed to be done, to get some tips.

Well you can guess I went pretty hard to show off, and after the tricky stuff I hit a patch of soft sand and went straight over the bars and landed just short of a huge Gum tree.

Needless to say my brother and my friend laughed their heads off. My only injury was damaged pride.

Another time my brother was following me down some very rough single track. I was waiting at the bottom where the track gets wider. He had finished the single track and decided to do a massive skid trying to stop next to my bike. Well he miss calculated his speed and skidded sideways right into me and we both went over onto the dirt. We couldn't stop laughing.

re: I think it's time for a Fred post.MVN
Sep 13, 2001 7:12 PM
What about buying clothes that match your bike? I got looked at kind of weird on the trail one day because of that (I ride road and trail). I just bought a Performance jersey that matches my bike. Is that Fred-like?? I read somewhere that only Freds wear Performance stuff. My helmet doesn't really match though, but I don't care. I got it because it was bright and hard to miss (I hope, lol). If buying matching clothes (Performance at that!) is a Fred maneuver, then I'm guilty, lol.
Fred clothesDog
Sep 13, 2001 7:23 PM
I have a drawer full. Fred clothes are:

*Flourescent - sure, it's safe, but Freddish

*bike matching, as you say - I have a Bianchi jersey (but I wear it on the Colnago, too, he he he)

*TOO coordinating - don't have everything coordinate or match, unless it's team gear, and you are on that team

Me, I like Bianchi Celeste colors. I'm a sucker for the color, as it goes way back to me teen years with me. I have a bunch of it, not only clothes, but bottles, tape, everything

Freddism can be fun. But, keep in mind, looking like a Fred is ok, acting like a Fred is worse.

Fred clothesMVN
Sep 13, 2001 7:58 PM
Those are some good ones! Thanks for the words of wisdom, Dog. I always try to look like I know what I'm doing. I hope I succeed, lol. Good riding!
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.peloton
Sep 13, 2001 7:34 PM
I own a couple of team jerseys, and I am damn slow. I'm a fred. I don't care.

Is there a difference in fred-ism if you know, and just don't care? It might be like the difference between a freak and a geek. A freak is just a geek with confidence. Difference?
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.MVN
Sep 13, 2001 8:07 PM
I don't own any team jerseys (too expensive for a grad. student, lol) but I am slow. Heck, I'm probably slower than you. I really don't care if I look like a Fred. Wearing things I like makes me ride better (at least I've brainwashed myself into THINKING I ride better because of it) and enjoy it more. Kind of that need to "belong", being part of a team. That also gives me confidence. What really matters is that we enjoy what we do. I admit I'm a bike geek, freak, whatever people want to call it. And I'm proud of it! I guess you could call me Freddy the Freak, lol. Good riding!
Is this "Fred" or just plain STOOPID?ACE
Sep 13, 2001 9:00 PM
I changed tires the night before a mountain bike ride with a friend. A ways into the ride, when I flatted and pulled off the tire, I found a tire lever I had misplaced the previous evening.The tube was trashed.
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.Starliner
Sep 13, 2001 9:23 PM
When I was a kid a while back my good friend got a nice 10-speed for X-mas. He foolishly let me ride it and when I returned back to where he was standing on the street, I must have squeezed the brake levers too hard so I flipped a$$ over the handle bars. I can't remember what got hurt body-wise, but I sure remember how stupid I felt.

BTW, that was the first time I ever rode a bike with dropped bars..... I think that had something to do with it.
re: I think it's time for a Fred post.PegLeg
Sep 14, 2001 5:50 AM
A couple of weeks ago went to Acadia National Park for the weekend with some friends. We decided to ride up Cadillac Mountain. I wore a polka dot King of the Mountains Tour deFrance jersey my niece sent me (she lives in France). I am a below knee amputee who rides with a custom prosthesis. Some days I have problems and this happened to be one of them. I got dropped about half way up. Dropped half way up the Mountain wearing the King of the Mountains jersey ... what a Fred!
I think the yellow would be more appropriateDog
Sep 14, 2001 5:57 AM
So many of us use any excuse not to ride. You have my admiration for getting out there with a prosthesis. Have you ever seen the video of the 1985 RAAM, where Jim Penseyres, an amputeee also, finishes RAAM? Pretty moving.

You're no Fred. Sorry, can't qualify.

Not A FredLigon
Sep 14, 2001 11:13 AM
I have lived in Bar Harbor for the past 4 months and have ridden up cadillac a few times. Not an easy ride. Two thumbs up for doing it with a prosthetic.
Here's one._blt_
Sep 14, 2001 8:35 AM
My brother does some great stuff sometimes. After a hot mountain bike ride, he decided we should stop and stretch near the end of the trail, rather than in the hot sun at the parking lot. And we do. So he takes off his helmet, gloves, backpack, sunglasses and his shirt too. After stretching we start to head for the car, about 1/8 mile or so, but he has all this stuff to carry. So he fills up one hand with all his stuff, and steers with the other. I'm riding right behind him, slowly, and I see him steer rapidly and wobble back and forth right before a turn. Sure enough he goes up and over the high side, face first and shirtless into two feet of weeds. And for some reason he hung on to all of his stuff instead of breaking his fall. Classic. I laughed and laughed. I'm still laughing.
That's Frederica to YOU!Roxy
Sep 14, 2001 2:19 PM
The only thing that comes to mind is taking a drink from my water bottle and removing it from my mouth before I stopped squeezing - yep - up the nose and all over my face!!

Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't repeated it weeks later!
I intentionally am a Fred...Nickthedart
Sep 14, 2001 5:57 PM
Just can't bring my self to wearing a team shirt. I hate Nascar. The shirts are just too similar to a nas car. I work for the usps. Will not display there logo unless I'm being paid to. Plain colored shirts are for me. Have very wide feet, will not pay $180 for sidi's or carnacs. The best fitting shoes are (FRED!) nashbars. Now where can i find some black sox?