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Spoke to Litespeed today(33 posts)

Spoke to Litespeed todayMikeC
Sep 6, 2001 7:26 AM
I hate beating dead horses, but something kept troubling me in the Litespeed "discussion" yesterday. Whenever Litespeed comes up, people always talk about how many poseurs buy them, and that they're so common that they can't possibly all be ridden by "real" roadies (like us), and how they're taking over the world.
So I called Litespeed to ask how many road bikes they sell each year.
It's about 8,000.
That means that this massive, assembly-line operation churns out about 25 bikes a day.
If they were evenly distributed between all 50 states (which, of course, they're not), and none sold overseas (which, of course, some are), that would be 160 new bikes a YEAR in each state.
Now I'm assuming that MOST people who drop over two big ones for a bike are fairly serious. But if we figure that 25% are wannabees, that means 2,000 new phonies on Litespeeds each year, distributed among roughly 250 million Americans, or 0.0008%.
It's pretty amazing to me that we're so good at finding them.
not so fastJack S
Sep 6, 2001 7:36 AM
does that count the Merckxs, Macalus, Merlins, and whatever other bikes they make? Hey, if you're gonna count the rebadges towards world championships, you gotta count 'em here. You're right, this horse is dead (I hope).
It's simple...k
Sep 6, 2001 8:01 AM
Everyone has an opinion but they seem to be harder on the people and their chocies rather than simply saying "I prefer something else".LS has commanding market share for ti frames and alot of shops carry them which is why we see a large amount of these versus a SEVEN, Serotta, etc. It's a very well known brand to the general public as well as the roadie. The one or two idiots who don't ride seriously and buy them seem to be the genarlization that every owner gets tagged with. The world that cyclist live in is such a small % of the population that you would have to take those statistics you provided in consideration. However, I wouldn't call Litespeed mass produced either.

The only time I hear people rip the company is on this site where they can stay anonymous. I've never had someone in a group or that I met riding discuss the posuer tag. It's like being in junior high school acting like little girls with this clique system developed on what people ride. Instead, I think my riding performance and the attitude I project to other people make an impact. The bike is only 10% of the overall package and if your happy with your purchase, you'll do nothing but ride it with a smile.
good at finding themHoward
Sep 6, 2001 8:02 AM
It's not that "we're so good at finding them" but rather that they're so good at finding us - as they pass us by! (LOL)
I think I saw all 8000 on last Sunday's ride :-) (nm)ET
Sep 6, 2001 9:30 AM
I think I saw all 8000 on last Sunday's ride :-) (nm)YAYA
Sep 6, 2001 9:49 AM
this is the type of snide remark that perpetuates the cycle of argiung. I kinda see why people get pissed off because it is relentless. Even when somone has a legitimate question and isn't looking to flame.
NM, congrats on starting more shi$%.
can't a guy even make a joke around here anymore?ET
Sep 6, 2001 10:18 AM
I stay out of just about all the LS threads; they are tiring and repetitive. I didn't even read that long one at all. But I like a laugh and try to return one, as a little humor can brighten up a day. That's all. There's often some truth to a joke too, and if I do indeed see four or five on a single ride, that's a lot in a way. But it's not a flame-starter, just a joke to make you laugh. OK, it didn't work. But aren't you being just a wee bit sensitive and censorial?

Not to mention presumptuous and inobservant. I'm not NM, I'm ET, my regular name, and posted as such. I don't do the anonymous crappo. "(nm)" means "no message", i.e. it's a courtesy to let you know not to bother clicking on the post title since there is no additional message in the text box. Now please get ready for my next joke, OK?
Well, I'M ready. We need more laughs around here! nmSpinchick
Sep 6, 2001 11:09 AM
no need to use so many handles: I'M, nm, Spinchick :-)ET
Sep 6, 2001 11:26 AM
Disclaimer to everyone on this board: it's a joke, nothing but a joke, just a cornball joke.
OK, jokesDog
Sep 6, 2001 12:40 PM
Similarities Between Biking and Sex

It's easy to make mistakes when mounting under the influence of alcohol.

Curves are best when they're hard and tight.

It's most fun to finish together.

There are times when a battery operated one would be appreciated.

Lubricate your equipment before every ride, and clean it up afterwards.

You're always sore after a good, hard ride.

It's not the quality of your tool, but how well you use it.

Most people spend more time talking about it than actually doing it.

If you go too fast, you can slide right off the track.

The key to endurance is to find a rhythm.

The patch is where the rubber makes contact with the track.

Novices don't seem to last very long when riding.

Protection is 85% effective at keeping another brainless drooler from entering the world.

Protection is most important if you don't know the trail very well and don't know what to expect.

With tubulars, if things get hot enough the rubber can slip right off your equipment, with clearly undesirable results.

Pace yourself!

Its something you can do yourself, but is more fun with a partner.

Always communicate your intentions when riding with a partner.

Some people are so dumb that you wonder why you don't need a license to ride.

The equipment that BMX'ers use just seems too small to do the job.

An important factor in comfort, there is much question over riding position.

It's something you can do on your own, but it's more fun with a partner.
more jokesDog
Sep 6, 2001 12:42 PM
What Cyclists Say and What They Mean

This originally comes from a column in Bicycling mag entitled "Parlez-Vous Bike? - What Cyclists Say and What They Mean." by Scott Martin.

This trail is a blast
(I hope you have good medical insurance)

I think I might have a flat tire
(Slow down, will ya?)

I definitely have a flat tire
(Help me change it)

I don't have a low enough gear
(I've gained 5 pounds)

I've decided to buy a lighter bike
(I've gained 10 pounds)

I'm taking up clog dancing
(I've gained 25 pounds)

I'm carbo loading
(Pass the ice cream)

I'm tapering
(I haven't ridden in 2 months)

The rebound was off, so I modified the damping. But then the elastomers were too dense, so I changed the oil and got rid of the stiction
(I have a new suspension fork and you don't!)

If you're a good bike handler, you don't need to wear a helmet
(I'm so stupid a brain injury wouldn't affect me)

Nobody needs a dual-suspension mountain bike
(I can't afford a dual-suspension mountain bike)

Dual suspension is the only way to go
(I just dropped 3 months' salary on a dual-suspension mountain bike)

She's a hammer
(She's faster than me)

He's a geek
(I'm faster than him)

I bonked
(All I took for a 4-hour ride was a half-empty bottle of month-old OJ and a moldy Twinkie)

If you don't crash, you're not going fast enough, dude!
(I crash a lot)

I don't own a car
(I'm a better person than you)

Why doesn't somebody do something about all these potholes ?
(Why doesn't somebody else do something about all these potholes?)

I do all my own bike maintenance
(When I squeeze the front brake lever, the bike shifts gears)

Thanks for waiting
(Wipe that smug grin off your ugly face)

Hey, did you guys hear about those new 1.8 gram carbon-fiber quick-release skewers with titanium springs?
(I am a very lonely person)

This section of trail looks doable
(You first, sucker)

I want to ride my bike to work, but...
(I don't want to ride my bike to work)

He's such a wheelsucker.
(I can't drop him)

She's always half-wheeling me.
(I can't keep up with her)

The town-line sprint is 100 yards beyond the next bend
(The town-line sprint is 200 yards beyond the next bend)

Been riding much?
(How fit are you ?)

Not much. You?
(My anaerobic threshold is 250 and my resting pulse is 14)

Nah, I've been really busy.
(My body fat is 2%)

Well, let's take it easy today.
(Ready, set go!)

Hold on, there's something wrong with my bike.
(Let's stop so I can rest)

My tires suck!
(This climb is killing me!)

Can you clear that drop-off?
(I can, but I bet you can't)

It's getting dark.
(I wanna go home)

This bike is a piece of shit!
(I can't ride worth shit)

I think I broke my arm.
(There's a little bruise on my arm and I don't want to ride anymore)

I'd jump that but I don't want to tweak my new rims.
(I'm too chicken to try)

This hill is easy.
(This trail's pretty tough but I'm gonna try and lose you on it)

That trail is boring.
(I know I can't make it)

Last one down is buying.
(I'll make you feel like a loser and get a free beer too!)

My bike was acting funny.
(Otherwise I would have whooped your butt!)

He's pretty good.
(I know I'm better than him)

He sucks!
(He's better than me)

That thing's a piece of shit.
(I wish I had one...)
and more jokesDog
Sep 6, 2001 12:43 PM
Why Bikes Are Better Than Women

Yeah, some of this stuff is pretty crass and sexist, but then that's what makes to so darn funny!

If your bike gets mangled in a car accident, you get a shiny new one for free.

The only protection you have to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helmet.

Choosing a bike takes 30 minutes at the bike store, not six months hanging around singles bars.

You can ride a bike any day of the month.

Bikes don't get pregnant.

You can upgrade your bike, component by component, as you can afford it.

If you get tired of the way your bike looks, you can just paint it.

You get detailed specifications, before you buy.

You can share your bike with friends.

Your bike doesn't come with in-laws.

You don't have to move into a bigger apartment just to hang a bike from the wall.

Bikes don't care how many other bikes you have ridden.

Bikes can't use your credit card or crash your Porche.

When riding, you and your bike always come at the same time.

You can spend as little money on your bike as you feel like.

Bikes don't blather on about astrology in front of your buddies.

If you don't make any particular effort, it takes longer to come.

You can show your buddies the oversize tubing and high-end components without having to recite the bike's name.

The name is printed on the frame in nice big letters in case you forget.

Bikes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can impress your buddies with the quality of your bike by letting them take it for test ride.

A bike stays lubricated for two weeks.

Bike curves never sag.

If your bicycle goes flat you can fix it in under a minute.

If your bike is too loose you can tighten it.

You can drink beer and ride your bike.

A bike can't call you at work or bother you after you discard it.

You can make sure that nobody will steal your bike simply by using a $45 contraption when it's left on its own.

If somebody does steals your bike, the police put them in jail.

If someone steals your bike, you can get a better one the very next day.

You won't have to buy two passenger tickets to enjoy riding your bike on the Moon.

You get money when you ditch an old bike.

If you say things to your bike you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

Bikes won't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Bikes don't care if you are late.

Bikes don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.

Bikes only gain weight if you install better equipment.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your bike.

There are bikes that are designed to be ridden by two people at once.

You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.

If you feel like standing up and really cranking hard, your bike barely makes a peep.

You can choose your bike from a catalog.

You can test ride every bike in the store before you make your decision.

People like you better if you have rode far and frequently.

You can adjust the riding position in 1 mm increments until it's completely comfortable to ride for days on end.

There are public riding competitions, and you can get sponsored to compete if your riding is good enough.

If your day job is to ride different bikes all day long for money, people think it's cool.

One word: training.

If you get tired of your bike, you can just dump it and get a shiny new 1999 model instead, without getting sued to support the brake levers until they rust.

You can ride a bike for three years without feeling like you have to keep it until you die.

You can always get to be the first one to ever ride a given bike.

You can ride your Bicycle the first time you see it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

Even an old guy can buy a shiny new bike, and the bike'll never know the difference.

Any day that you feel perky enough for some physical activity, you can be 100% sure you'll perform.

You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.

If you're riding your bike, and you see a buddy and decide to stop for a chat, the bike will be ready where you left off.

You can have as many bikes at once as you feel like.

Bicycles don't get headaches.

You don't have to deal with little bikes suddenly appearing, and if they do, you can just dump them in the recycling bin.

If anything doesn't work the way you want, you can get it fixed at the local bike shop for $24.95.

If you don't bother to maintain your bike for three years, you just have to drop it off at the bike shop with $24.95 to make everything better.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.

Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other bicycles.

When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.

Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you discard it.

If you get a new bike you don't have to keep sending money to the old one.

You can tell at a glance if a bike accepts male riders, female riders, or both.

You can always spend more to have the biggest equipment on the block.
stop, you're killing me...Dog
Sep 6, 2001 12:45 PM
You know you're an incurable bikaholic when ...

You find that a strange jargon is working its way into your everyday conversation. Words like "derailleur," "Campagnolo," "Biopace," "Kevlar," "Dia Comp," and "Shimano."
You have an uncontrollable urge to bring your bike into the house - preferably in the living room or the bedroom.
You find it amazingly easy to justify the purchase of a third bike - this one just for special rides.
You plan, and actually look foward to, a two-week bicycling vacation trekking across mountainous terrain and setting a goal of 75 - 100 miles a day, rain or shine!
You can actually remember which valve type is Presta and which is Schraeder, and are adament about defending your favorite.
Your spouse begins to automatically assume that you'll be on a club ride every weekend, or worse yet your non-riding spouse begins to learn bike jargon.
You meticulously care for your bike, while your $10,000 car quietly rusts away.
You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchage gifts of bicycling components and accessories.
You hang around bike shops without really needing anything.
You're so naive that you think a "wheel-watcher" is a bike racing fan.
You accumulate bike catalogs - and find something new to order with each new issue.
You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components, just because somthing slightly better or trendier just came out.
You never throw away the replaced parts - even worn out tires and tubes.
Your eating habits have changed. Things like "gorp," "Gookinade," and "carbohydrates" creep into your diet.
You plan the year ahead around the dates of TOSRV, GEAR, the LAW rally, the Hilly Hundred, the Makleville Death Ride, etc (the list grows longer every year).
You don't plan any family events ahead until checking the "Monthly Meanders" schedule.
You begin to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisance, interfering with your quality biking time.
You divide your friendships into two groups - those that bike and those that don't bike.
You talk about Lemond, Induran, Chiapucci, and Bugno as if they were close personal friends.
You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with "Larry," the ever silent riding companion, when viewing the cycling video on your wind trainer.
Your all-time favorite movies are "Breaking Away" and "American Flyers."
You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
You'll ride all day in the numbing cold and soaking rain, and then complain at home if a draft from an open window blows on you.
Your family photo album is becoming filled with bike photos and scenery views shot through the spokes. On the other hand, you have not taken a candid photo of you spouse or kids for two years.
You faithfully log every mile ridden.
You regard the severity of a sickness or injury by the length of time it takes until you can resume biking.
You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water bottle (especially at sag stops, sitting on the cold ground and pigging out on bananas.)
You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right leg.
Your biggest goal is to qualify for RAAM (or some other suitably difficult race/ride).
You would like to wear your colorful skin outfits to work.
You belong to more than two bike clubs and/or subscribe to more than two bike magazines.
You consider not being able to ride on your favorite ride as "the ultimate tragedy."
You hang on to your favorite biking outfits, like a child's teddy-bear, even though they are tattered and torn.
...please, no more!Dog
Sep 6, 2001 12:46 PM
A Real Bicyclist!

A man decided that he was going to ride a fat tire cruiser bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.

He stuck his thumb out but after 3 hours, hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "and your not going to believe this, but there's guy on a beach cruiser honking to pass".
man I'm obnoxious!Dog
Sep 6, 2001 12:49 PM
OK, I'll stop - here is the source

What, no llama jokes??? nmMB1
Sep 6, 2001 12:53 PM
So Dog, you're a little sexist piggy. Well...Spinchick
Sep 6, 2001 1:02 PM
I'm glad you didn't say:

It's not the size of your tool, but how well you use it. Because that, my friend, is a myth. Started by someone with a small tool no doubt.
oh, so it IS about the, er, bike (nm)Dog
Sep 6, 2001 1:43 PM
'Fraid so. nmSpinchick
Sep 6, 2001 1:55 PM
I'm am on such a roll, great cycling joke (not pc though)Dog
Sep 6, 2001 3:15 PM
A young woman had entered her dog in the dog show in the smooth-haired breed category. To give it an advantage, she went to the chemist for some hair remover.

The chemist gave her the product requested and advised, "Just remember to keep your arms up for at least five minutes"

"Errr... it's not for my armpits," she flustered, embarrassed, "it's for my chihuahua"

"Oh well, in that case," said the chemist, "don't ride a bike for twenty minutes"
uh, Dog, keep in mind (Spin)chicks are reading this :-) (nm)ET
Sep 6, 2001 1:01 PM
(Spin)chick will leave the kitchen if she can't take the heat.Spinchick
Sep 6, 2001 1:10 PM
Spinchick is Harry Truman!!!??? nmMB1
Sep 6, 2001 1:13 PM
You never fail to crack me up, MB1. nmSpinchick
Sep 6, 2001 1:38 PM
it's humor - forget P.C., good taste, and common senseDog
Sep 6, 2001 1:17 PM
OK, I was shooting for lightening the mood - hard to be humorous and be politically correct these days, even more so on the dry internet.

Something tells me that Spinchick, et al., have thick skin, maybe even more so than most of the boys (intentionally politically incorrect term) here.

Oh, one more...Me Dot Org
Sep 6, 2001 9:39 PM
Bob, a confirmed Mountain Biker, spend so much time riding on the weekends that his wife was beginning to complain. When their Anniversary fell on a Saturday and Bob started to put on his cycling clothes, she had a fit.

"Honey", said Bob, "Fred is coming by and were going to go do a quick 15 miles through the canyon course. Afterwards, I'll come back and I'm taking you out for a great dinner and dancing tonight!"

Bob's wife relented. Fred came by around 10 am, and Bob's wife saw the two of them off.

5 pm: No Bob.
6 pm: No Bob.
7 pm: Still no Bob, and the wife is furious.

Finally, at 8:30 pm, a scratched and dirty Bob emerges from the garage into the kitchen.

"Honey", he said, "Before you say anything, I just want you to know that Fred had a heart attack at the beginning of the Canyon Course."

"Oh my God", says the wife, "That's terrible!"

"You're telling me", said Bob, "It was horrible! All day long I would ride a hundred yards. Stop. Walk back. Drag Fred. Ride a hundred yards. Stop. Walk back. Drag Fred..."
Sep 6, 2001 12:22 PM
No NM! I just gotLazyrider
Sep 6, 2001 1:02 PM
home and I don't have access to a comouter at 1 in the afternoon. Wrong conclusion Sherlock.
Sep 6, 2001 11:25 AM
Come on lazy. Here is your perfect oppurtunity.
I find it most amusing that this...Spinchick
Sep 6, 2001 1:57 PM
thread started out as (mostly) light-hearted banter about bike styles, etc. and has ended up as rauch central. Gotta love it :-). Thanks, Dog.
humor goodDog
Sep 6, 2001 2:04 PM
"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches them tolerance." W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
humor goodbadabill
Sep 6, 2001 2:19 PM
From "similarities between biking and sex" to Maugham all in the same thread. Dog you take the cake;-)
Very funny, especially the Corvette joke (nm)Dutchy
Sep 6, 2001 5:03 PM