RoadBikeReview.com's Forum Archives - General


Archive Home >> General(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 )


Reeel Naaas Poetree Fur Yawl...(17 posts)

Reeel Naaas Poetree Fur Yawl...dirtbag
Aug 21, 2001 4:23 AM
Ahem...um

REDNEYECK OWN A ROADIEBAAAK

Translation: Redneck on a roadie bike

Guess I'l git me a roadie baaak
When I pay ma truck note
With skeeeny ol tars
n reeeel low bars

Now I'm peddlin down the road
and I'm gettin kinda boared
Well yonders ol Duke
He's ma three legged dog
He's a sleepin in the road
An obstical ta bunnyhop!

So I peddled reeel hard
ta git lots a speed
ta clear ol Duke
HAAAAAAAAYYY!
This rig wont flaaa!
Watch ayyyooouuut ooolll Duuuke!
CRASH
BANG
WOOF-WOOF
Sorry ol Duke!

So I dusted myself off
scratched ol Dukes ears
Headed down the road
But I,m startin ta doze
Wound up in the ditch
SSSuuuuunnn of a.....BLEEEP!

Jumped back on the baaak
N theres feast fur ma eyes
A four foot drop
At the bottom of the hill

So I'm peddlin reeel hard
Ta git lotsa speed
Let er lift
Let er fly
SMASH!
TWIST!
BOOM!
AAAYYYOOOUUUCH!
She flaaas reeel naaas
But she just won't layand!

So now I'm lookin all around me
Pretzalized frame
Shreaded carbon faaaber
Two tacoed wheels
Now I'm wantin some takeeela
Just ta kill the pain!

So I gathered all the parts
Headed back to the crib
N chucked em in the yard
Walked over to the shed
Grabbed ma Ellsworth Joker
N tossed er on the roof

So I'm peddlin reeeeel hard
Ta git lots a speed
Let er lift
Let er fly
HAAAYYY Becky Suuue Looook ayaaat MEEEE!
WOOOOSH!...AAAHHHHH!...
Now thats more like it!

Well now itt's got me thinkin
Bout this roadbaak thang
I reckon itt's not fur dirtbag
No way, No how

So I grabbed all the twisted parts
N headed down to the swamp
Chucked em in the water
Dinner fur the alleegaytors!

It's raining here today
Lotsa time on ma hands
Hey Haiku it's yur move
Wacha got Dude?

By the "technical" dirtbag...Yuk..Yuk!
I just knew you had poetry in your soul! nm!MB1
Aug 21, 2001 4:47 AM
Well, bless yer heart, Dirtbag... (nm)Spinchick
Aug 21, 2001 8:10 AM
Dat's reel purdymike mcmahon
Aug 21, 2001 4:48 AM
Y'all gawt me awl choket up.
Hey Bubba!... Zat You? nmdirtbag
Aug 21, 2001 7:23 AM
.
Yup (nm)mike mcmahon
Aug 21, 2001 12:03 PM
nm
group ride / essence of southern accentuationHaiku d'état
Aug 21, 2001 8:12 AM
riding to group ride
fifteen each way, thirty round
thirty with the group

if i rise early
can get an extra twenty
makes total eighty

starbucks on the way
but still closed when i ride past
should pop some no-doz

average going
same as return average
but the group is slow!

at the meeting point
thirteen show with bikes in tow
and one recumbent

careful, stay up front
core members supplemented
wal-mart bike riders

sneakers, no helmet
no patches, tube, pump or tools
always off the back

even seasoned vets
cause a wreck, inattention
road rash, purple knee

i'll wait til first break
then attack on the big hill
pull six from the group

seven share the work
group with squirrels ten min back
are we safe in front?

you must be joking
not safe if front guy pulling
rides through the potholes

worst yet, just my luck
mtb with aero bars
bunny-hops road kill

answer: drop the guy
averaging twenty five
guess i'll loosely draft

last week's comfort bike
this week he has new road bike
attacks every hill

jeffreyh respond?
yes, but not out of saddle
slowly pull him back

strong at base of hill
new road bike guy halfway up
can't keep his rhythm

jeffreyh study
watch ullrich, rewind, again
sit and turn big ring

guess it's a good thing
haiku jeff rides with old dudes
big fish in small pond

every so often
sharks show at group ride, big fish
small meal for fast shark!

dirtbag, where you from?
have lingo down real good (sic)
must live in say-yawth

y'all one dem baw-wees
awl-ways warn fayansee duds
I ken see yer butt

rod'din fer'rin bak
cos' dam neer pross'a my dawge
git awf da-yam road!

git chur bak awf road
y'all up on sod-wok, bak whur
yew be long, baw-wee

ye-yah, i god bak
ain' rode it, twenny ye-yurs
dem's jes keds taw-wees

mah keds baks et hawm
in deh yah-ward dey be long
er in bak uf truuk

gots tree baks nay-yow
won fer eesh key-yid, 'n won
fer hole fambalee
Care to translate? ;-0 nmMB1
Aug 21, 2001 10:03 AM
hold rebel flag & chaw 'tween lip & gum, won't need xlation NMHaiku d'état
Aug 21, 2001 10:10 AM
Aaah Cayan! nmdirtbag
Aug 21, 2001 10:32 AM
Where's dirtbag from you ask?...dirtbag
Aug 21, 2001 10:23 AM
...why, that electronical storage place at your fingertips of course!
indiana?Haiku d'état
Aug 21, 2001 10:36 AM
It is raining in Florida & Washington State today.MB1
Aug 21, 2001 11:25 AM
Just call me Sherlock Holmes.
How in the world dija guess!? Hbout yself?dirtbag
Aug 21, 2001 11:52 AM
.
The District "Taxation Without Representation". nmMB1
Aug 21, 2001 12:06 PM
you're pretty close to chicago, no?Haiku d'état
Aug 21, 2001 12:25 PM
me: elvisville, sir
monster trucks and walking ducks
redneck capitol
This is gettin REALLY spooky....dirtbag
Jun 12, 2001 2:26 PM
...How do you KNOW this stuff? Are you like. F.B.I.? C.I.A? or just plain psychic?? Hope you dont wear blue suade shoes when you ride, THAT would be really spooky!