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We need evasive tactics(20 posts)

We need evasive tacticsinthedoghouse
Aug 15, 2001 12:52 PM
The posting below on credit card debt got me thinking. I need some good ideas for ways to cover up my "toy" purchases from the wife, or at least ways to justify them. Any ideas? One thing that I have found to work is buying things with cash that I have saved up. That way there is no paper trail and she usually doesn't notice as long as it isn't something obvious like a new bike. As long as the transaction isn't in the checkbook or on the credit card statement it can be covered up. I just bought a new road bike and have decided I need to lay low for awhile, the reaction from the wife was somewhat less than understanding. In fact it was somewhat hostile.
keep your toys in the neighbor's garage?lonefrontranger
Aug 15, 2001 1:36 PM
A buddy of mine did this when his wife went postal about a bike purchase. But I think he was up to his thirteenth bicycle at that point.

but seriously :)

I spend a crapload of money on bike stuff, to the point where my boyfriend (a Cat III racer) kids me about my bike jones. We don't do joint accounts & have no immediate plans to marry, so we share the bills but keep our accounts (and accounting) separate. Maybe I just don't have the right perspective. I spend obscene amounts at the Limited, he spends obscene amounts at Suncoast on DVD anime', we each have our weaknesses. As long as the rent gets paid on time, we figure we're both responsible enough to handle it.

I get asked about this topic constantly by male teammates and ride buddies who have to hide, beg, wheedle or otherwise justify every toy or impulse buy to their wives.

I personally have a real thing with high-maintenance females who go out and spend >$300 on a pair of shoes or a handbag, then go apesh!t about their husband spending $150 on his 6 month allotment of bike parts, golf clubs, fine Scotch or whatever else makes him happy. It's like they're too insecure to let him have interests outside their shallow little selves.

Whew! Sorry for the rant - you're talking to a gal who went through some freaky suicide watches with a friend who is an awesome guy. He had a little blonde tapeworm with boobs ride him over the coals then bankrupt him in an ugly divorce because her social calendar didn't revolve around his cycling. Once she realized no one was interested in her mindless opinions at the races, she ran up tens of thousands worth of joint credit card debt on jewelry, then split.

Basically I'm just confused by partners who get all proprietary about money. I earn about 3x what my boyfriend does, the bills are up to date, it's MY cash and I'll spend it how I please. OK maybe that's selfish, but there it is.
"little blonde tapeworm with boobs" LOL!! Thanks! (nm)RhodyRider
Aug 16, 2001 9:15 AM
Make no excuses....C-40
Aug 15, 2001 1:44 PM
I make no excuses for my cycling expenses. Cycling is my only hobby. I put $100 a month in a savings account to cover my major cycling expenses, like a new frame, wheels or entire bike. When the money is there, I can buy anything I want with it. Minor expenses like tires, clothing, helmets, chains, etc. are considered normal operating expenses.

This method encourages selling old bikes and parts, which are subtracted from the cost of any new bike. When I got my C-40, I sold a Litespeed Ultimate for $2900 and a Tommasini Sintesi for $1200 to cover most of the cost.
BTW, what's your opinion of the Tommasini?pedalriot
Aug 15, 2001 2:21 PM
i cant afford a c-40 yet, but i do want to pick up a better road bike around $2000 or so. ive considered lemond zurich, cannondale r1000, and some others, but i spotted the sintesi at colorado cyclist. what did you think of it?
BTW, what's your opinion of the Tommasini?look271
Aug 15, 2001 4:02 PM
Beautiful Italian bike. Great deal. I'd pick it over the others, easily.
What is easier seeking Forgiveness or Permissionwink
Aug 15, 2001 1:51 PM
All of us have to have more experience with forgiveness. So I say buy our toys and seek forgiveness. Also remind her that she is lucky she is not married to a golfer. Golfers spend at least $100 evertime they go out on top of the capital investment in the clubs. These gals should get down on their hands and knees and thank the good lord that they are married to cyclist!
Forgiveness.look271
Aug 15, 2001 4:09 PM
You'll more than likely NEVER get permission, you'll eventually get forgiveness. (After much grovelling, sucking up, etc.) Besides, sometimes you find something that if you wait, POOF!, it'll be gone. Take it from someone who has been to the alter of cycling penance many a time: go with the forgiveness. (Last year I bought a new mtb under my wife's nose. My kids ratted on me. I eventually got absolution even to the point that she BOUGHT me my new kg 271 for our anniversary at the end of the summer! I've had to be real nice to her since.....BTW, I put the kids up for adoption......KIDDING!!!)
It's not about the bikemr_spin
Aug 15, 2001 2:01 PM
If you feel you have to hide anything from your wife, it's probably because (pick one or more):

1. Your wife is a wise woman and you've broken her trust. Perhaps you've run up bills recklessly in the past and she doesn't want to go into debt.

2. Your wife is a shrew. She whines and b!tches about everything. She can't deal with you being happy.

Either way, if you feel you have to hide your purchases from your wife, you've got bigger problems.

When she finds out you've been hiding stuff, the next question she'll ask is what else are you hiding? You better have a good answer.
I'd have to agreeSteel phillipi
Aug 15, 2001 2:55 PM
While I was in grad school, my wife worked full-time. After grad school and I got a real job, we felt like we were swimming in dough. Without consulting, discussing, etc, I went out and bought a brand new Pinarello Montello frame. While driving home, I felt incredibly guilty. You have to understand, we were relatively poor and she paid most of the bills.

So I hid the bike, always waiting for the right time to tell her. It never came. She found the frame in the root cellar of the house and was pretty crushed. It was a relatively long time before she was over it and I associated pretty bad feelings with my dream frame. I eventually sold the bike because of the bad feelings.

What I have learned in the intervening years was to discuss purchases in advance (she's a damned accountant), but I discuss them from the point of view that I am going to buy "X" in this time frame and it seems to have worked out. It is not asking for "permission". It is communicating.

Sorry, gotta go take out the garbage.....
Well put! (nm)Len J
Aug 16, 2001 3:30 AM
re: We need evasive tacticsAD14
Aug 15, 2001 2:07 PM
I pay cash for everything(bank check). I squirrel away money(cash) so nobody says anything about my bike purchases. Even my new frame was purchased with a bank check priority mail. My lawyer wife thinks the money is better spent on travel etc. I think its a great way to live longer, feel better and let the garbage in my head empty out(emotionally). She is getting better about my riding time, however, I still struggle to find more than 6 or 7 hours a week. And that is with a couple mornings a week included. I WILL RIDE MY BIKE.
My wife never looks at a bill.........STEELYeyed
Aug 15, 2001 2:42 PM
because she has turned all the finances over to me,she has no head for business and finance and is the first to admit it, she is no dummy,she is a critical care RN,but she trusts me implicitly to take care of everything,when she needs to make a large purchase she consults with me about it before she buys,and she doesn't have a problem with it at all,in fact it has taken a alot of stress out of our marriage,which in it self is a contract of mutual trust and respect,is it not?
STEELYeyed
I never look at a bill.........mike mcmahon
Aug 15, 2001 3:02 PM
I hate paying bills and my wife doesn't mind, so I'm in the opposite situation. I've probably written three checks since I got married. Even if I wanted to hide purchases, I'd have to be very creative to do it. As things stand, she knows exactly how much I pay for every bike-related purchase. I, on the other hand, have no idea how much she spends on clothes.
I never look at a bill.........ashleyrenfroe
Aug 15, 2001 3:21 PM
... and you will live much longer probably!!
re: We need evasive tacticsashleyrenfroe
Aug 15, 2001 3:20 PM
I am seeing some similarity with what I have done on my latest "toy". I have a sweet Fuji on layaway at the Lbs, which my wife does not know I have already bought. What she DOES know is that I get so much money into my checking account every week, and that I am regularly taking money out to "save" for said bike. She has no quarrell, and I feel like I am earning something, not just spending on a credit card. I think she is gonna be impressed. Of course, this is also coming from someone who thought going to the NBA finals would make a great honeymoon.

Nevertheless, we wound up in the Bahamas snorkling.
re: We need evasive tacticsfiltersweep
Aug 15, 2001 4:24 PM
As long as they don't gather dust, I have nothing to worry about- of course she even calls my car a toy!
the "savings account" methodTig
Aug 15, 2001 5:31 PM
A fishing friend uses this at Academy Sports and it works for any place that has gift certificates. Each time you go to the bike store to buy a few tubes or something small, add a $20 or $30 gift certificate to the purchase. Over time they add up quickly. When it's time to upgrade some juicy parts like a wheel set or drive train, etc., use them to lower the price! This keeps the purchase amount less noticeable. Works every time.
re: We need evasive tactics(ACE)
Aug 15, 2001 9:59 PM
Buy her a diamond necklace for no reason!
Buy TiCitius
Aug 16, 2001 2:46 AM
It's expensive, but I have always bought Ti bikes -all with brushed finishes. She doesn't know the difference.