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Am I too sensitive?(34 posts)

Am I too sensitive?mr_spin
Aug 13, 2001 8:21 AM
I'm doing a favorite climb last Saturday. Normally I push pretty hard here, because it is the last climb on an 85 mile ride and I enjoy taking it to the limit in my 39x21. On this particular day, my legs don't feel great, but by no means am I suffering. I'm still cruising in a 39x23.

Near the top, I pass two cyclists, standing at the side of the road, doing something intently--probably reading a map. As I pass, I give the customary nod and greeting. In response, one of them barely even looks up, saying "you're doing great!"

Now, here's where you guys may think I am too sensitive. The way the guy said it wasn't like "You're doing great! You are the man! I'm in complete awe!" It was more like a disinterested coach, throwing out random words of meaningless encouragement. "You're doing great. Whatever that is...."

I said "thanks" and rode on, but it bothered me at the time, and it still kind of bothers me. People have said that to me before, but usually it was when I was really suffering to get up something. There it's welcome, but this time there was something that just bugged me. What's wrong with just saying "Hi" or "How's it going?" There's no implied judgement there!
get over it!jeez!
Aug 13, 2001 8:28 AM
if you got a problem go ask them what they meant, don't try to assume what others meant... if you must do that, go find yourself a shrink
Wow, roadies ARE jerks....peloton
Aug 13, 2001 8:38 AM
I can't believe that guy had the nerve to say something nice to you! We shouldn't tolerate people like that.

What's the big deal? He only offered a supportive comment.
So how should I feel in my 24x30?UR2 self-absorbed
Aug 13, 2001 8:40 AM
You're taking this WAY too seriously. People all over the world have thoughts every day that don't feature you at all.
So you could get over it, or you could get a pistol, go back and find those guys and blow them away over the insult. There isn't a jury in the world that would convict you.
re: Am I too sensitive?PatM
Aug 13, 2001 8:46 AM
Not sure if you are to sensitive or not, but I had a similar experience a couple of weeks back. I was doing a 70 mile ride about 45 miles into it and just doing my pace, certainly not any great speed maybe 17-19mph. I noticed off in the distance a person on a bike, as I got closer I noticed it was a person on a mountain bike(I was on a road bike) and he kept looking back at me. I was slowly catching up to him, and as I did I noticed that he had jean shorts on and it looked as if he was riding to the store or work or something, he was going at a pretty good clip for someone on knobbys, he still kept looking back at me, so I thought if I caught him I would talk for a while. Well I finally caught up to him and he turns to me and says - "jeez your making me look bad", At first I did not know how to take it, I smiled made an instant decision to ride a bit faster. The more I thought about it, the more confused I was about it, compliment or insult ? I thought HE was making ME look bad ! Was it the fact that I may have extra weight around the middle or was he just at a loss for words and that was the first thing he thought of. Not sure if the helps or not but I came to the conclusion that such things should be put in the past and just keep riding
You have won the big trophy....Lou M
Aug 13, 2001 8:46 AM
for the biggest PU$$Y on this forum (that's a heck of a selection), give me a break!!! you are looking for reassurance in the wrong places, sounds like you need some sort of couseling...
yeah, you areclub
Aug 13, 2001 9:13 AM
man, I say encouraging stuff like that to riders all the time, even to the point of not minding my own business and offering advise when I pass an obviously struggling rider, such as "you know, if you would raise your saddle an inch, you could climb twice as well." I do so not to be sarcastic or belittle anyone, quite the opposite, I love cycling, know a lot about it, and want everyone to have as great a time and fall in love with it for a lifetime, just like me. Just this am, I overtook a woman whose front derailleur sounded like it was grinding coffee, so I told her if she moved the front shift lever just a tad the noise would stop. She did, it did, and she thanked me as I rode off.
When I want to be sarcastic, I say something like "man, all those gears are sure slowing you down" as I pass and drop someone on my fixed gear.
Who Cares?grzy mnky
Aug 15, 2001 10:08 AM
Get over it - you're out there to ride for yourself. You wanna hear nice words then hire a coach.
be an ambassador of our sportclub
Aug 13, 2001 9:22 AM
in the same vein as my other post about my offering support and advise, whenever I see a cyclist stopped, I always ask them if everything's ok, if they need assistance. Usually, they wave and say "thanks, everything's fine," but often enough they say "yeah" and are having a mechanical problem, or, in your case, maybe trying to decipher a route map, and are much appreciative of my help. Recently, I came upon a woman who had a big gash in her tire. I stopped, booted it with a dollar bill, and rode a few miles with her back to my place, where I gave her a used 27" tire I salvaged from a beater bike I found and kept for parts. I also keep a floor pump with both valves and some 26" and 700C presta tubes in my 4x4, along with a chain tool and some links, and have several times rendered roadside aide to hapless riders who were caught unprepared for their mechanical woes. Try it yourself, be an ambassador of our sport
Well that was an interesting experimentmr_spin
Aug 13, 2001 9:26 AM
This was actually based on a real incident. I thought the comment was more strange than bothersome to my ego! It bothered me for about 0.01 seconds.

But, since it seems like a slow Monday, I was curious to see the reactions I would get if I made it sound like an ego crippling event.

I was also curious, given the unpredictable nature of this board, what would provoke the most criticism:

- the boasting of my climbing skills
- not stopping to help two cyclists who seemed lost
- the overly sensitive reaction to a meaningless comment
- some other total misinterpretation

Sure enough, I hit them all. And it's only been an hour.

What a surprise to discover a few serious responses! There is hope.

It's only Monday, and we're off to a rousing start....
What did you expect?grzy mnky
Aug 13, 2001 9:36 AM
Or was this just some way to say that we're all a bunch of dopes?

If you wanna experiment then go play with yourself.
you ARE the weakest link, goodbyeDog
Aug 13, 2001 10:34 AM
OK, your "experiment" wasted some people's time responding. Hope you don't bother posting under the same name again, or people likely won't bother responding.

Waste of Bandwidth - get on your bike Mr_Spin (nm)JohnnyA
Aug 13, 2001 10:50 AM
Come down from the ivory tower, pleasemr_spin
Aug 13, 2001 11:16 AM
Waste? It was a legitimate post. The incident was real, although exaggerated. I was interested in getting opinions on what I thought was a strange comment. Exaggeration for the purpose of inciting response is a time-honored method of public debate. That was the "experiment" in my post.

Sure, those who responded with idiotic insults wasted their time. But who cares about them? I knew there would be a few. In fact, I figured there would be more. Were they taken for dupes? Of course, but no one made them respond the way they did. Debate requires decorum. You went to law school, I assume.

A couple of people posted intelligent, useful responses. I even agreed with them. Was their time wasted? Well, now that YOU have declared it so, I guess it must have been. I hope if you ever become a judge, you develop a less narrow mind.
OK, serious reply - you ARE too sensitiveDog
Aug 13, 2001 11:39 AM
...and I as trying to be a bit humorous.

I think your reply to mine shows the hypersensitivity more than the original post.

stand up for yourself!raler
Aug 13, 2001 12:36 PM
No offense, but, this is the second time (the other was in response to ET about the Archie Bunker topic)in the last week or so Ive seen you wimp out when someone "confronted" you about your post. Its ok to take a stand. Youre a lawyer right?
Come on now, were you really trying to be humorous??
Yes, I was - now get lostDog
Aug 13, 2001 12:54 PM
how was that? :-)

Very good. I knew you had it in you!!raler
Aug 13, 2001 1:08 PM
Actually, your heading WAS humorous, especially as I imagined you say it, and I have to admit I didnt notice that part until later... I was mainly talking about the part that said "youre wasting people's time and noone will respond to you if you use that screen name", which didnt seem too funny to me.

Anyway, way to take a stand!
Just Like wrestling a pig in mud....... I'll pass, thanks.(nm)JohnnyA
Aug 13, 2001 12:27 PM
Yeah, but it FEELS good! (nm)grzy mnky
Aug 13, 2001 1:36 PM
I'm just glad that you are really a "Mr."jaybird
Aug 13, 2001 11:01 AM
With all of that senseless whinning about your emotions, i was starting to think your name should be ms. spin. You are a guy, don't read more into a comment (let alone from another guy) than is actually said. Leave that to the sex that actually looks good in lycra...
I'm just glad that you are really a "Mr."Spinchick
Aug 14, 2001 6:06 AM be offended, to not be offended. I happen to be a woman and found this guy to be a total whine-o-matic. Oh, woops, maybe I'm being too sensitive. Well at least I look good in spandex...
How long is .01 seconds in your world?Kristin
Aug 13, 2001 10:53 AM
"I said "thanks" and rode on, but it bothered me at the time, and it still kind of bothers me." Sorry, but this is a big indescrepancy between your posts. You did communicate initially that it bothered you for more than a day. Question: Isn't 39x23 the easiest gear? Or am I all confused again? I looked at my cassette and it says 23 on the biggest one. On the chain ring, the little one says 39. This, for me, is where suffering exists. When I'm there, I'm not going very fast.
How long is .01 seconds in your world?mr_spin
Aug 13, 2001 11:24 AM
Not sure I follow your 39x23 point, exactly. The 39 is the chain ring, and the 23 is on the cassette.

On the climb in question, many riders would find driving a 39x23 to be difficult. But a strong rider would have no problem turning a 39x21.

If the road were flat, you would be hopelessly spun out using a 39x23.

You are a fairly new rider, so I am surprised that your lowest gear is a 23. But then I think you are in Illinois, where there are no 2500 foot climbs that I know of.
Wasn't Making A PointKristin
Aug 13, 2001 1:25 PM
It was a question. Can you say question? Q-U-E-S...just kidding! :-)

Everyone I know (practically) rides with a 53/39 setup. So 39x23 is the easiest gear--well, figuring the cassette is the same as mine. But, alas, you are correct. We live in different worlds. Your's seem to have a strange time continum and more hills. Around hear, going up a hill in 39x23 would not be a boast. You usually are last, and not wanting anyone to know what gear you're in. My limited experience as a cyclist and traveler, prompted me to post a non-sensicle question. Do please forgive.
vastly different perspectivesDog
Aug 13, 2001 1:34 PM
You point out something that many of us forget too often. Our perspectives are vastly different, depending upon our terrain, mileage, speed, fitness level, weight, age, etc.

Simply depending upon whether I ride east or west from my house, I can need a 27 cog with a 39 to mash up 20% grades, or I can ride all day long at 20 mph in my big ring and an 11-21 cassette. My terrain is vastly different just depending upon the direction I ride. Imagine all the varieties of circumstances we all encounter all over the planet, all the variables, that again vary with time, weather....

It's very hard to post anything here that is meaningful to others who don't share the common persective. We sort of assume that others share our perspective, but we don't.

Either that or.....grzy mnky
Aug 13, 2001 1:39 PM
You have to shroud all of your responses with all sorts of disclaimers and qualifications so as not to offend all the new age sensitive types. Sometimes it doesn't seem to be much different than a pissing contest in grade school - my appologies to the ladies - I wouldn't want to assume too much on this topic.
Aug 13, 2001 2:18 PM
Maybe we can develop some standard disclaimers to be implied with every post:

1. Your mileage may vary.

2. No offense intended.

3. :-)

4. It depends upon your (terrain)(weather)(speed)(weight)(use)(cadence)(humidity)(road conditions)(skill)(age)(experience)... choose.

5. Humor is always intended, unless obviously not intended.

6. Those of you who think you know it all are irritating to those of us who do (but we'll not come right out and say it).

7. When recommending a bike, we assume you'll get one that fits (once and for all - sort of like shoes).

8. Nothing stated by doctors or lawyers here is intended as medical or legal advice - until you pay for it.

9. We don't intend to offend the ladies (by treating you differently), so we'll treat you just as rudely as we do the other guys.

The corollary is...Cliff Oates
Aug 13, 2001 2:14 PM
If we ask questions or make statements without putting them into a proper contextual framework, then the questions or statements are meaningless, along with any follow-up answers or observations.

The usual culprit here: "I ride up a lot of hills, do I need a triple?" As stated, it's a meaningless question for which there is no correct answer.
nice save attempt...Lou M
Aug 13, 2001 11:01 AM
I am sure you realized how stupid and ridiculous your post was. Now you are saying it was an experiment?? C'mmon now. You have too much time in your hands, go ride your bike and don't waste our time...
and I thohght I was sensitive....n.m.AD14
Aug 13, 2001 11:02 AM
In a word, YES.look271
Aug 13, 2001 2:08 PM
What'd you expect? A devil jumping up and down with thousands of admiring fans cheering you on? Perhaps a shout from the guy at the roadside saying "You da man!"? Jeez, get over it.
get a life! nmJohnG
Aug 13, 2001 8:31 PM
With respect to all..DINOSAUR
Aug 14, 2001 5:57 AM
Was everyone having a bad hair day on Monday, and what happened to the General Forum Pact?