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pantyhose(23 posts)

pantyhoseHaiku d'état
Aug 9, 2001 9:23 AM
my dad, hunting in late fall/early winter, used to wear pantyhose under his gear, claiming added warmth. i've heard/read about professional football players doing the same during cold-weather games. being an incessant recycler (is that a word?), i can't see throwing my wife's ruined (runned?) unmentionables away if i can use 'em under tights for cold winter riding.

anybody have input?

no flames (or flamers, LOL), please.

haiku welcome, though.
Aug 9, 2001 9:38 AM
With the new age high tech cold weather gear available I don't think it would be necessary. Lord held the guy that crashes and the snickers from the er room personal when they remove your cloths if you should ever crash....
re: pantyhoseCliff Oates
Aug 9, 2001 9:54 AM
Your Dad was probably wearing jeans. In our case, we're wearing fleece-backed lycra tights. If I need another layer under those (which I haven't so far), my first inclination would be to look for some poly wicking long johns similar to the undershirt from Pearl that I already wear when the weather turns chilly.

Other than that, I'm with Dino: God help you if you crash...
you don't realize how thrifty (cheap) i amHaiku d'état
Aug 9, 2001 11:19 AM
I have one pair of bellweather tights that aren't really wind-resistant, and aren't fleece lined. got them at the knock-off store. rode through last winter with modified plastic grocery baggies in my shoes. i did buy oversocks, neoprene booties, arm and knee warmers a few weeks back, in preparation for this year's weather change. now i need lights, cold weather socks, headwear,...the list goes on. i'm by no means hard-up, but i'm also not made of money! guess i should divert beer (PBR) funds to my cycling stockpile.
You've never worn pantyhose have you?Kristin
Aug 9, 2001 10:33 AM
Come on! Tell the truth now. :) Honestly, they are one of the most unfortunate inventions of all time. Hideously uncomfortable (especially the control top). And so often, one leg goes on twisted--adding extra discomfort. My first priority at the end of the day is to ditch them. I wish I could choose between $150 PI cycling tights and a $4.99 pair of Leggs. But you'd have to try them for yourself to see what I'm talking about.
You've never worn pantyhose have you?quinroo
Aug 9, 2001 1:04 PM
ii agree with kristin. pantyhose are the worst. besides, if they already have a run in them, the run will just get worse and worse, until they begin to resemble cobwebs. when your wife throws them away, its because they are finished!
re: pantyhoseak
Aug 9, 2001 10:44 AM
Jeff, a lumberjack*?
Cross-dresser goes to ER
Story at ten.

(for those of you who may not get the Lumberjack reference it is an old Monty Python song/skit about a cross-dressing lumberjack. here's a link to the lyrics.)
Another Monty Python reference.......Len J
Aug 9, 2001 11:15 AM
could make my day. I think the hunt for the English outback Twit could start around here.

Raising Arizona reference.......mike mcmahon
Aug 9, 2001 1:11 PM
You know what it is:

"Son, you have a panty on your head."
...Three shall be the number of the counting...Haiku d'état
Aug 9, 2001 1:34 PM
And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it smash our enemies to tiny bits." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and lima bean...And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, and neither count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three. Five is RIGHT OUT. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade to-wards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.look271
Aug 9, 2001 6:22 PM
I work all night and I sleep all day. :-)
re: pantyhoseSkip
Aug 9, 2001 10:47 AM
Cross dressers abound,
In hopes to stay ever warm,
Now, where's my bra, hummmmmmmmm.
haikuHaiku d'état
Aug 9, 2001 11:13 AM
white male, one ninety
control top l'eggs panty hose
and funny bike shoes

tattoos, piercings, hose
shaved legs, tights and bright jersey
it's a manly sport

momma always said
in case of an accident
don't wear pantyhose

ride hundreds of miles
for an excuse to shave legs
and wear panty hose

prior to cycling
pantyhose: hold-ups only
me and accomplice

don't bother with hose
wear modern cold weather gear
and grow money tree

dad went out hunting
said the hose were good for cold
so what's with the dress?

wore on head driving
trouble reading pawn shop sign
robbed bowling alley
re: pantyhosecoonass
Aug 9, 2001 3:53 PM
Being from the South, I never knew or heard of a serious deer or duck hunter that DIDN'T wear pantyhose.....(of course their wives or girlfriends bought them).
There once was a cycling poet ...bianchi boy
Aug 9, 2001 6:47 PM
There once was a cycling poet
Cross-dresser but didn't know it
From his waist to his toes
Wore his wife's panty hose
And wrote haikus, wouldn't you know it
there once was a boy called bianchi...Haiku d'état
Aug 10, 2001 5:09 AM
there once was a boy called bianchi
his jerseys were constantly stanky
threw one in the wash
out popped peter tosh
eating pixy stix from willy wonkey
This board to be made a"haiku free zone".STEELYeyed
Aug 10, 2001 5:25 AM
youkeepondreaming.infinitesourceofhaiku.staytunedformoreprose nmHaiku d'état
Aug 10, 2001 6:27 AM
How about pantyhose year around............STEELYeyed
Aug 9, 2001 7:35 PM
then you wouldn't have to shave your legs,thus saving time and money on razors,plus no tan lines.
speaking of living in the southHaiku d'état
Aug 10, 2001 5:06 AM
one of the WORST things to see in public:

hairy legs stuffed into pantyhose, slippers, sequened dress in the grocery store on sunday afternoon. blech!
c'mon, man...4bykn
Aug 10, 2001 6:15 AM
I was trying to eat! LOL
over the head, too?Dog
Aug 10, 2001 8:22 AM
"Son, you gotta panty on your head."

Spend $20 and get some leg warmers.

!Haiku d'état
Aug 10, 2001 9:52 AM
your posts seem much more witty and humorous since your changed your moniker. i'm not sure if it's seeing "Dog" before opening the post, or if it's given you a license to wit. or if it's that bad acid from '88. either way, nice! now, as for all this raising arizona drivel...

Today, I saw a dog,
Yes, a dog.
Talking to a pig,
Yes, a pig.
They were on the pavement,
Discussing Trotsky.
Not brotsky or crotsky or drotsky or frotsky.
But Trotsky.