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Alternative topics for discussion(46 posts)

Alternative topics for discussionpeloton
Aug 7, 2001 10:02 AM
In light of all the Lance vs. Lemond stuff lately I decided to come up with an alternative list of discussion topics.

-Campy vs. Shimano

-Am I a poser? Fred who?

-Do I need a junk saver saddle to avoid becoming a eunuch?

-Roadies are elitest jackasses who won't wave, and this hurts my self esteem.

-I hate road rage so I'm buying a handgun to carry while riding. What gun should I buy?

-When I shave my legs, should I stop above or below my nipples?

-I can average 13.67 mph alone, can I win the Tour de France when riding with a group?

-I hit a parked car yesterday. Should I sue the owner?

-Another damn poll!!!

-Where is Kristen? (Why, are you stalking her?)

-Shouldn't someone be telling grz that he is wrong about something by now? (kidding grz, I respect your knowledge)

-Road bikes don't belong on the road because they frequently break the speed limit. You know who you are.

-rodeez suk cuz mounten bikin rules! (Yes, that is how it should be spelled)

-Would I be faster if I bought the new super-turbo-unobtanium 1000 chain rubber from Campy?

-I can't wait until winter so I can drink beer and get fat

-This thread in haiku format

Sorry guys, I was bored.
re: Alternative topics for discussionDINOSAUR
Aug 7, 2001 10:33 AM
You forgot one.... Armstrong vs LeMond
<ahem> your post in HAIKU format (strikes again-->)Haiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 10:38 AM
-Campy vs. Shimano

italian stuff
versus fishing reel makers
please help me decide

-Am I a poser? Fred who?

poser or cool dude
wearing lycra? no question
superhero tights

-Do I need a junk saver saddle to avoid becoming a eunuch?

i'm riding the "v"
more comfy on my behind
kinder to stuff, too.

-Roadies are elitest jackasses who won't wave, and this hurts my self esteem.

did you see me wave?
method: fingers off the hoods
country cyclist wave

-I hate road rage so I'm buying a handgun to carry while riding. What gun should I buy?

what gun should i buy?
campy shells, shimano gun
compatible, no?

-When I shave my legs, should I stop above or below my nipples?

road rash on my knee
never to be mistaken
with fun carpet burn

-I can average 13.67 mph alone, can I win the Tour de France when riding with a group?

can't win tdf
gym shoes and a baseball cap
you're way off the back

-I hit a parked car yesterday. Should I sue the owner?

this one's too funny
forgot to don my helmet
suing...i forgot.

-Another damn poll!!!

what do your shoes weigh?
pollster: long walk on short pier
sleep with the fishes.

-Where is Kristen? (Why, are you stalking her?)

"E" identity
kristen: two-fifty, male, bald
living in Scranton

-Shouldn't someone be telling grz that he is wrong about something by now? (kidding grz, I respect your knowledge)

woke up with a chip
rush to work to hit the board
grz mnky arson!

-Road bikes don't belong on the road because they frequently break the speed limit. You know who you are.

so many road bikes
crazy downhill lawbreakers
descending is banned

-rodeez suk cuz mounten bikin rules! (Yes, that is how it should be spelled)

MTBR com
I must have hit the wrong link
oh! stoopid lycra

-Would I be faster if I bought the new super-turbo-unobtanium 1000 chain rubber from Campy?

park pizza cutter
I mounted to my top tube
using some duct tape

-I can't wait until winter so I can drink beer and get fat

will pabst blue ribbon
fit in my elite cages
trainer: keep my buzz

-This thread in haiku format

that haiku cyclist
jeffreyh, poetic fiend
just go ride your bike
sarcasm aside, that's great (nm)peloton
Aug 7, 2001 2:20 PM
nm
and ethics...Dog
Aug 7, 2001 10:46 AM
-Is it ethical or moral to cut off my arms and ears to gain an aero and weight advantage to win an uphill timetrial?

-3x vs. tangential spoking?

-Deep aero vs. box rims?

-I started riding yesterday. Do I need tubulars?

-I'm in high school and work at McDonalds part time; should I spend $6,000 on a bike?

(all intended in the spirit of good fun)

Doug
you guessed itHaiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 10:57 AM
-Is it ethical or moral to cut off my arms and ears to gain an aero and weight advantage to win an uphill timetrial?

cut off my damn ears
my special giro helmet
aero van gogh look

-3x vs. tangential spoking?

my twisted lacing
sixteen verus thirty two
spoke algorithm

-Deep aero vs. box rims?

wood versus plastic
which will burn faster at high speeds?
not a descender

-I started riding yesterday. Do I need tubulars?

bike made in '80
rider made in '85
tubular, walk home

-I'm in high school and work at McDonalds part time; should I spend $6,000 on a bike?

six grand on a bike
or spend to pimp my chevelle?
loud bass low ri-der
you did it today. man you made me cry real tears. autographbill
Aug 7, 2001 11:20 AM
for fan?
you did it today. man you made me cry real tears. autographHaiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 11:33 AM


DOH! sorry...wrong one
another ethical questionpeloton
Aug 7, 2001 2:22 PM
I'm a Cat V racer and 30 pounds overweight. Should I buy an $10,000 alitutde tent like Lance uses to supplement my training to move up to the pro elite Cat III?

-all in the name of humor
You forgot the most important one's......Len J
Aug 7, 2001 11:27 AM
Which bike should I buy?

Why should I buy a Lightspeed?
What about...mr_spin
Aug 7, 2001 11:29 AM
Carbon/Titanium/Steel/Aluminum/etc. - The worst frame material known to man?

Carbon/Titanium/Steel/Aluminum/etc. - The best frame material known to man?

And what about Scandium?
re: Alternative topics for discussionLardog
Aug 7, 2001 12:16 PM
LOLOLOLOL

Trek vs. anything, especially other than carbon fiber.

It's truly nausiating.
and don't forget (laughing at myself)...Dog
Aug 7, 2001 12:21 PM
-Why was the tone of your post so sarcastic?

-Why not buy every expensive newfangled doodad on the planet?

-Today's new Forum Pact!

-Why must idiot kids throw beer bottles in the bike lane?

-Get the damn runners, mothers, and bladers out of the bike lanes and bike paths!

-How many ways can YOU put your foot in your mouth?

Dog
Doug, adopt a new name? and, are you baiting me? >;-)Haiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 12:38 PM
-Why was the tone of your post so sarcastic?

communication
in written format, no face
hard to interpret

-Why not buy every expensive newfangled doodad on the planet?

i've given excel
fifty thousand plus dollars
posting on the clock

-Today's new Forum Pact!

let's have a group hug
please, no negative posting
grz mnky target

-Why must idiot kids throw beer bottles in the bike lane?

walk over hot coals
it's nothing compared to glass
michelin ax-pros

-Get the damn runners, mothers, and bladers out of the bike lanes and bike paths!

multiuse path rage
colnago, my bulldozer
don't get in my way

-How many ways can YOU put your foot in your mouth?

it's bound to happen
answers always expected
fingers won't behave

Dog

fruedian is it?
signed post with fraudulent name
you left out the "U"
DogDog
Aug 7, 2001 12:49 PM
For the Furnace Creek 508 race in October, the racers are assigned a "totem", or animal name, rather than a number. I've requested "Dog". Thus, I'm Dog.

Dog
Dog: interestingHaiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 12:57 PM
thought that was pretty interesting when i read awhile back that those crazies (sorry, Do[u]g) had their 'teams' identified with not a number but an animal. i've always liked llamas.

jeff: lama glama
burden beast, haiku spewer
train for twice metric

doug: canine lawyer
riding five hundred nine miles
you'll have a sore ass
LlamaDog
Aug 7, 2001 12:59 PM
"Llama" is Cassie Lowe, currently the fastest female ultra rider in the world. http://www.cassonbike.com

Dog
okay, then...capybaraHaiku d'état
Aug 7, 2001 1:04 PM
since all manner of Chelonia MUST already be spoken fer.
Also, the never ending Bike Fit questions...Cima Coppi
Aug 7, 2001 12:41 PM
Hi, I'm 5'11, 240#. My LBS recommends a 47cm sloping top tube with 650c wheels. Is this too big??

CC
it's personal this time...Jack S
Aug 7, 2001 12:45 PM
Cima Coppi duck
here comes a flying golf ball
Golfers should be shot
golfers should be shot?keith m.
Aug 7, 2001 1:18 PM
only if their democrats.
Republicans don't exactly have a cycling friendly agenda!!Cima Coppi
Aug 7, 2001 1:53 PM
Let's see here, the Republican's in Washington are so in bed with the auto makers and the oil companies, here's what us cyclists can expect:

1. More 3 ton SUV's on the roads to run cyclists over.
2. More 20 gallon/mile vehicles creating more CO exhaust for us cyclists to inhale.
3. Fewer bike lanes.
4. Fewer incentives for environmental conservation.

CC
Republicans don't exactly have a cycling friendly agenda!!keith m.
Aug 7, 2001 2:39 PM
Oh, I forgot, democrats NEVER drive SUV's, or buy gas, or emit exhaust from their cars. Damn those mean ol' republicans again.
Republicans don't exactly have a cycling friendly agenda!!jaybird
Aug 8, 2001 5:17 AM
megadittos!!!
Right wing Keith strikes again!Largo
Aug 7, 2001 2:42 PM
Keith needs to try being poor in America.
I was!keith m.
Aug 8, 2001 8:49 AM
I grew up in a bario in Westminster,Ca. Not exactly Manhatten. Hard work payed off though. Great country we live in.
Also, the never ending Bike Fit questions...cycleguy
Aug 7, 2001 8:53 PM
Only if your to small.
Get Serious!grzy mnky
Aug 7, 2001 2:20 PM
We need a valve stem cap poll - do you use them (F & R) and if so what color?

Maybe not.....

And from the continuous imprvemunt, errr, improvement dept......I may be wrong. ;-)
wrong again Grz!!!!!peloton
Aug 7, 2001 2:24 PM
Everyone knows that vavle stem caps are fastest when they are the red Michelins ones. Everyone knows that! ;)
Dang!grzy mnky
Aug 7, 2001 2:51 PM
How come I'm always the last to find out? I thought the yellow Conti ones were da kine.
Waiting for the picturemike mcmahon
Aug 7, 2001 3:01 PM
Every time the discussion turns to valve-stem caps, someone (I don't remember who) posts a picture of his skull stem caps. WHERE'S THE SKULL?
I like the "dice" ones... (nm)grzy mnky
Aug 7, 2001 3:41 PM
it's me! closet skull valve cap user!Haiku d'état
Aug 8, 2001 5:11 AM
can't find 'em in presta, so these are on my western flyer cruiser:

What?! No haiku for skull valve stem caps?peloton
Aug 8, 2001 7:12 AM
Damn, I'm disappointed.
scroll down to 'recap' NMHaiku d'état
Aug 8, 2001 7:25 AM
NO! NO! NO!look271
Aug 7, 2001 6:10 PM
Doesn't everyone know that the quickest way to climb better and ride faster is to REMOVE the valve caps?! And I thought you guys knew it all!
valve capsjaybird
Aug 8, 2001 5:21 AM
which ones does Lance use? Did'nt he use Litespeed custom models that were painted to look like the Trek version...
Didn't know you were Hawaiian nmMel Erickson
Aug 8, 2001 6:02 AM
It's about time!Lazy
Aug 7, 2001 6:46 PM
Funny how once every couple of months we get a big goof off thread like this and all the tension that builds up after a month or two of arguing about the inane topic of the week disappears for a while.

To wit:

Here's one I haven't heard in about a year or so...

Should I leave the retaining nut thingy on my valve stem?
Shoot!Kristin
Aug 8, 2001 9:14 AM
Last week I lost the red cap off my front valve. I replaced it with a black one from Trek (don't ask--I was in a pinch) and my average immediately plumbeted from 17.49 MPH to 17.22 MPH. Its been bothering me all week.

Where can I buy replacement Michellin valve caps? And are Michillin valve caps compatable with Continental tubes?? :-)
Shoot!peloton
Aug 8, 2001 10:01 AM
Dr. Ferrari can get you the red Michelin vavle caps. If you fail a drug test for red Michelin though, he will deny knowing you.
A couple more (and I'll do my own haiku thank you)mk_42
Aug 7, 2001 5:17 PM
-I don't think Lance is doping. I mean how could he be after cancer, and being famous, and that look he gave that was so cool?

before Lemond spoke
we always speculated
someone always "knew"

-I don't think lance is doping but your reasoning doesn't make sense to me.

I don't think lance dopes
but cancer-stardom-the look?
no real connection

-I like lance a lot, but com'on guys.

let me say that I
respect lance and think he's fast
but read voet's book

jeffreyh, you're my haiku hero

This is the first time in a long time when I actually did laugh out loud (not the quiet chuckle and type "LOL", my drink almost came out my nose).

_42
yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.who?yes.yes.yes.yes.cycleguy
Aug 7, 2001 5:31 PM
why wait.what?.yes
recapHaiku d'état
Aug 8, 2001 5:47 AM
republicans votes
used to make the roads wider
we need wider trucks

twenty gallon mile
no problem: refuge drilling
bush: gotta love him

don't deserve road use
if ya don't burn brontosaur
multiuse path rage >:(

"environmental",
"conservation" in haiku
them wurds are two big!

you're anti-golfer?
hey, me too! maybe should make
a secret handshake

not anti-GOPHER
small comical burrowers
not bike related

republican, no,
democrat, nor otherwise
puppets anyhow

was struck by golf ball
from then on, ol' jeffreyh
mad golf terrorist

my altitude tent
cost only ten thousand clams
overwieght climber

which bike should i buy?
daily dose of bike quandry
can't live without it!

litespeed is misspelled
much like camelbak, plus "C"
fav subject: "your dumb!" (sic)

5200
versus b-2 stealth bomber
which one is lighter?

5500
versus '71 steel?
ten bucks from neighbor

five nine, four forty
sloping frame geometry
gonna break that bike

jeff was two-forty
now a svelt one-ninety five
easier on hills

fastest color cap?
black and white, shaped like a skull
downhill on cruiser

why valve caps at all?
substantial weight saving tip:
remove new tire nubs

MK underscore
four times ten plus one times two
thanks for compliment

what cycling needs is
less attitude, more haiku
poetry, motion
spokes: compression or tension?Dog
Aug 8, 2001 1:55 PM
Big debate we had a while back - is the hub supported by the upper spokes in tension or the lower spokes in compression? http://www.exploratorium.edu/cycling/wheel3.html
ah... grasshopper! But...peloton
Aug 8, 2001 5:21 PM
what came first? The chicken or the egg?

That compression or tension question boggles my mind when I think about it too hard. Good one, Doug!