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New information hot off the presses(23 posts)

New information hot off the pressesDog
Jul 11, 2001 1:08 PM
I just located a confidential industry insider who confirmed the following shocking news:

*Litespeeds are really made by Trek

*Carbon Treks are really made by Kestrel

*Lance Armstrong is a result of one of the first successful experiments with human DNA engineering

*The Tour de France is controlled by the same parent company of the World Wrestling Federation

Any other good rumors that can be confirmed out there?


P.S. this is a joke
re: New information hot off the presses ...Humma Hah
Jul 11, 2001 1:15 PM
... Except Armstrong's TDF bike will be a Huffy.
Hey Doug, you posted a link once....Kurt H
Jul 11, 2001 1:18 PM
And a pretty good joke at that! A long while back you posted a link to a racing club's website (in Alabama, I think??) with some hilarious stories about racing and cycling. You posted the link as a response to someone's concern about erectile disfunction among cyclists. The site had a story debunking that theory. I realize this is a very sketchy description to work from, but please re-post the link if this rings a bell.
the linkDog
Jul 11, 2001 2:11 PM
Yup, it was the Columbia, (Boone County) Missouri, cycling club. The guy was hilarious. For some reason, they pulled his articles from the site. I e-mailed them about it, but they never responded. Likely some thin-skinned pc person was offended.

The LinkMiklos
Jul 12, 2001 9:49 AM'scorner.asp

Saddle Soars was the story that Doug had the link to. It is definately the guys best story, but a few of the others are funny too.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! nmKurt H
Jul 12, 2001 10:07 AM
Thanks! I was looking all over for them.Dog
Jul 12, 2001 10:10 AM
Thanks again.

Jul 11, 2001 1:50 PM
Craig Calfee used to work for Kestrel, and Craig made the first run of LeMond carbon fiber bikes.

* Carbon fiber is really a ground up blend of Hi Ten Steel and cardboard.

* Cycling doesn't really improve your physical conditioning, but leafing through mail-order catalogs does.

* Lance's birth name was really Elmer.
isn't this a little stale?ET
Jul 11, 2001 1:51 PM
P.S. this is a joke
I was bored, sorry (nm)Dog
Jul 11, 2001 2:11 PM
no need to apologize; I was trying to be funnyET
Jul 11, 2001 2:38 PM
you know, repeating your previous post title here. Oh, never mind. Need to go back to Comedy class 101. :-)
comedy is really tough on the internetDog
Jul 11, 2001 4:35 PM
Sometimes, it just flops, and worse yet, we can offend or irritate people. I didn't do very well with this one. Maybe the lesson is that boredom is no excuse to try to be a comedian. I'll wait for a comedic epiphany next time. :-)

Jul 11, 2001 4:47 PM
at the tone of that comment. I KNOW you're referring to me and me ONLY! Just because you got passed by a guy on a Litespeed with a training bra doesn't give you the right to criticize others!
Was that you in the training bra?Dog
Jul 11, 2001 5:07 PM
Sorry I didn't say Hi and wave. My bad. I was too busy flipping off country club soccer moms in their Mercedes.

Better check your rake and trail...MrCelloBoy
Jul 11, 2001 5:13 PM
before writing no Hans. Your steering may wobble two and fro, causing sudden jerkiness cyndrome. I hate that happen once and flew helly- pelly into a juniper mint bush. She never forgave me!
Oh gawd!grz minky
Jul 11, 2001 6:54 PM
Now that cracks me up. Maybe you'd have had a better experience if you flew into that juniper mint bush head first?!

Hey if anyone knows about trying to be funny and having people get all Huffy, I would be near the top of that list.

So - tough hump-day following the previous short week?
Tough is right...MrCelloBoy
Jul 12, 2001 8:56 AM
We're short about half our office staff, and training a new A.P. person. I'm having nerves about getting the paint job right on my Calfee tandem, now under construction...I lay awake at night with my stoker, well, that's not all bad...
We get bleary eyed choosing the right water bottle cages for our $9k 30 lb. carbon tandem... Life is hard sometimes!
We're havin' pizza for lunch today at work! (Next day)

GRZ, have you ever seen John Lennon's book "In His Own Write?"
If you liked my story you'l love his humor in this book!

Check out
bottle cagesDog
Jul 12, 2001 9:07 AM
You gotta go with the Zipp carbon cages; I have them on two bikes, and they work wonderfully.

Oh Mannn....MrCelloBoy
Jul 12, 2001 10:17 AM

Hey, my birthday's coming up, but 3x cages on the tandem...$120 and change incl. shipping. DOH!

I think the Performance Quick draw "carbon fiber???" at $7.99 is looking REAL good! I'm trying one out now.
you already spent nine grand...Dog
Jul 12, 2001 10:54 AM
Hey, you've already gone off the deep end with a Calfee tandem. May as well go the whole nine yards.

I swear, these cages are wonderful. Look good, light, and most importantly, they hold the bottles firmly, but are still easy to get bottles in and out. A bit pricey, but a great product.

But Doug...MrCelloBoy
Jul 12, 2001 11:45 AM
After the 9k there's nuthin' left...
And I had to go with the steel cottered cranks and welded steel rims to keep the cost down.

(Just kidding) ; )

We'll see. Maybe if I eat bread and water for a month.
Oh Mannn....MrCelloBoy
Jul 12, 2001 10:24 AM

Hey, my birthday's coming up, but 3x cages on the tandem...$120 and change incl. shipping. DOH!

I think the Performance Quick draw "carbon fiber???" at $7.99 is looking REAL good! I'm currently testing one out. The "Carbon fiber" loks suspiciously like regular $7.99 I'd wager it's not what most of us refer to as carbon.
God I crack myself up sometimesMrCelloBoy
Jul 11, 2001 5:21 PM
Which is good. Have you seen "Wrongfully Accused" with Leslie Nielsen?
Most of it's a spoof of "The Fugitive." The sequence with the bus crash on the way to prison gets me laughing so hard I cry every time I see it. One moment has Leslie's character landing on a "getaway bike that lacks a seat. Ouch!
You might get a kick out of it.