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Has cycling ruined your personal life?(30 posts)

Has cycling ruined your personal life?buck
Jun 29, 2001 11:14 AM
Two guys I know have had divorces caused, at least in part, to their riding, racing and training schedules. They are both exceptional atheletes and very good riders. They're both nice, seemingly easygoing, but obviously a little obsessed. All extra time and money these guys have go into their bikes and training/racing with nothing left over for a significant other. Are there other people out there like this? I guess the personal high some people get from success in one arena drowns out the other aspects of life.
girls = work = time = less time ridingMabero
Jun 29, 2001 11:25 AM
My girlfriend last summer went away and I had the first real opportunity to fall in love with biking. At the time I was recovering from a broken ankle so running was no longer an option so I began to Mountain Bike...falling in love with that naturally led me to buy my first road bike in August. But I rode like crazy for those months that she wasn't around...met other bikers...rode more...just love...well when she got back in late August I had just got my new road bike so->OUCH! I wanted to ride my new bike! So we broke it off...

My new girlfriend is not a biker but she understands the demands of biking and the expense...she is starting to fall in love with biking herself (I nudged her with comments like "if you want to spend time with me more you got to spend it biking with me"). She in fact just bought her first road bike and is starting to ride...good for our relationship and enables an understanding between us both. Plus she now knows how expensive things can get and really why they are priced that way. Also she finally understands the importance of having good and proper equipment...THANK GOODNESS!

I think just like with a lot of sports that we fall in love with. If your significant other doesn't fall in love with a sport or your sport...they will never understand and something will give...

Just my opinion.
Cycling is my personal life.Cima Coppi
Jun 29, 2001 11:27 AM
What else is there?!?!?
Yes and no >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.Live Steam
Jun 29, 2001 11:30 AM
I'll spare all of the sordid details, but it did cause a breakup for me, with a person I dated and lived with for the past five years. I bought her a bike and she did get involved, but she had much less free time to ride than I have. She also didn't have the interest level I have for it, so she didn't understand how much it meant to me and why I prioritized it the way I do. I am sure I did neglect her needs at times due to my desire to group ride - these generally take place on weekends you know. Less time for us to be together if I'm on the bike. I know I was supportive of her when she decided to return to school for ANOTHER degree - this took time away from us also.

The flip side is that I have made a lot of new friends. I look and feel better than I did 10 years ago. And, it has possibly lead me to a new and lucrative business venture. HAPPY CYCLING EVERYONE!!!!!!!!
No, my personal life has ruined my cycling.PaulCL
Jun 29, 2001 11:30 AM
But that's OK, because my personal life consists of three children, a beautiful wife and a fulfilling career. The hours for cycling will come later.

An orthopaedic surgeon acquaintance of mine ruined his personal life with cycling. During residency and early practice years, he averaged 300+ miles/week on top of the long hours of a medical practice. I quipped to him that his devotion could have led to divorce. I did this smiling at his wife...little did I know this was his second wife. His career and addiction DID lead to a divorce.

By the way...he doesn't ride anymore.
I have a wife who rides and racesRoger2
Jun 29, 2001 11:33 AM
and at certain times she seems more possessed than I. Although, I'd never trade her fanaticism for riding and racing I wish she didn't keep getting more and more into knowing the difference between high end and low end components. THis is getting expensive! ;0)
Divorce that one!Mabero
Jun 29, 2001 11:36 AM
Divorce her and let me marry her! She's a keeper!

Foster's Austrialian for Beer
Other way around.Brian C.
Jun 29, 2001 11:36 AM
The only time for cycling, it seems, is first thing in the mornings, but late nights can really cramp your style.
Other way around.AD14
Jun 29, 2001 1:31 PM
My wife does not understand my desire to ride 12 hours a week. I have to get up early and ride into the sunrise.
You can't beat a good sunrise, though (nm)Brian C.
Jun 29, 2001 1:59 PM
Not ultimately...MrCelloBoy
Jun 29, 2001 11:44 AM
I divorced after 13 years but it was more about lack of sex than biking, though she's a hores trainer rather than a cyclist.

I met my current love of 5 years at a local MTb event. She's a total biker babe!.. owns a Trek OCLV and Merlin Mtb as well as us being co-owners of a new Calfee tandem. We're considering that our wedding ring. We have different work schedules and ride together as often as possible. I'm building up to doing a double century with her on our new tandem next year. We'll hopefully switch captaining mid-ride.
That's awesomeMabero
Jun 29, 2001 11:48 AM
All things do happen for a reason...
Do you two wear the same jersey on the tandem?Maillot Rouge
Jun 29, 2001 11:50 AM
IMHO that's a major fashion faux pas.

what does IHMO mean?Mabero
Jun 29, 2001 11:53 AM
what does IHMO mean?Maillot Rouge
Jun 29, 2001 12:04 PM
In My Honest Opinion. And you know what they say about opinions, they're like butts, everybody has one.
You mean IMHO>>>>>>>>>>>>>nmLive Steam
Jun 29, 2001 12:14 PM
No, we can't fit in the same jersey...MrCelloBoy
Jun 29, 2001 12:33 PM
Actually I want to crawl into her jersey sometimes.
I actually would like to get matching jerseys at some point. What would be cool is if they made cpatain/stoker sets where the graphics evolved as you went from front to back. WOW!
Of course thats just MHO....LOL...LSHIPMP... ; )
Nope, I would be friendless and a failure without cycling.Maillot Rouge
Jun 29, 2001 11:48 AM
Before I started riding seriously I was on the verge of flunking out of college, I was overweight, a complete smart a$$, and frankly not much fun to be around. Training to race forced me to organize my time and motivated me to work hard at everything so my grades picked up. I ride to reduce my anxiety and stress level and that makes me a lot more laid back and actually fun to be around. It hasn't cured me from being a smart a$$ though. It's kind of a catch 22 at this point, if I don't ride I'm extremely uptight, if I ride a lot I miss oppurtunities to meet people. Luckly here in Colorado so many people ride it's not too bad. I actually started a collegate team way back in college to meet girls that ride, it actually worked.

I once quit a job because my boss ....seth1
Jun 29, 2001 11:53 AM
wouldn't give me a month off to do an 1850 mile bike ride out west. I had planned a trip where I would do a 7 day supported tour in Montana. Go solo from Bozeman to Jackson Hole in 5 days. Meet up with another group in Jackson hole for another 6 day tour. And then get out to Washington for another 7 day tour.

I thought the request was completely reasonable, my boss thought otherwise, so I told him I had to leave.
Cool !!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Live Steam
Jun 29, 2001 11:59 AM
That'll teach him!
I'm rediscovering my personal life...E3
Jun 29, 2001 12:05 PM
... to an extent. Due to a couple of health issues, my weekly mileage has decreased from 130 - 180 miles to almost nothing. I wake up on weekend mornings not knowing what to do with myself because I'm accustomed to hittin' the road for a few hours. The first weekend this happened, I sat around half the morning with my heart racing for no reason other than I wasn't getting my "fix."

I always tried to strike a balance (sometimes an uneasy one) between pissin' off my wife and alienating my two boys. I think I managed to straddle the line pretty well. Now I have more time to mess around with my family and get things done around the house. They'd better not get too accustomed to it because I'll be back on the bike eventually, though probably later than sooner.

If you're addicted to riding, the world is a different place when you suddenly can't ride. A beautiful day is just that: a beautiful day, instead of "what a perfect day for a bike ride."

My new theory for why some motorists yell obscenities and shoot the finger at cyclists is that they are former cyclists who can't ride anymore and they're jealous of those that can : )
Find the right mate...Velocipedio
Jun 29, 2001 12:33 PM
My partner of 15 years is a cyclist. She understands. We ride together three or four times a week and build a lot of our time around rides. She also thinks guitars are cool and has been teaching herself to play my Rickenbacker bass...

Not only am I in love, I'm in heaven.
Find the right tornado head
Jun 29, 2001 4:45 PM
MeloVelo, your situation sounds a little like mine...

She got a bike to rde with me because I was riding on the small opportunities I had. She's a cruiser, I want to do fast centuries. But there's the one ride a week I drop it in to low gear and just cruise along with her. It's not the training i'd like, but it is the personal time I enjoy.

My wife started following me to guitar shows. Now she helps run them. She probably sees as many strats, les pauls and martin's as I do.

she understands my obsessions. She would like as much attention as the bike gets, but at least she understands.
aren't we looking at this backwards?Haiku d'état
Jun 29, 2001 12:34 PM
personal life is what you make it. if you allow cycling to "ruin" it, you're simply setting priorities and shaping your personal life in your own way. if cycling is your top priority, sacrificing family and friends/obligations/jobs does not ruin, but enhances your personal life.

my priorities are (1) family, (2) working to feed, clothe and shelter my family, and (3) cycling, in that order. if your's (or anyone's) aren't, that's your (their) prerogative.

blaming huge mileage per week, racing, training, financial debt due to cycling, and other cycling-related time- and money-pits for wrecking a marriage or relationship is pure bunk. if the relationship had priority, the cycling would suffer. obviously the inverse is true for many of us. it's all about priorities.

no offense intended.
re: Has cycling ruined your personal life?Stampertje
Jun 29, 2001 12:44 PM
Actually, she helps me keep a healthy look at things... I could be spending I don't know how much on bikes, but that would only make me feel guilty. Now I won't buy the extra wheelset that I won't need anyway, I'll force myself to relax and go slow when riding with her and I remember that there are other things in life.

Only problem is, now *she's* catching the bug...
It has culled the old drinking buddies out of my life.AlexR
Jun 29, 2001 1:02 PM
All good buds, but our social interaction would consist of bar hopping together. 7:30 AM rides on saturday and sunday threw that type of night life out the window.

Cycling has changed my social habits. I spend a lot more time with my girlfriend, who can appreciate the beauty of a 10:30 bed time. A night ride with her up to Ravinia (straight up the Green Bay Trail) with a backpack full of dinner is a nice way to spend a summer night. Chicago is such a euphoric place in the summertime, we all feel like we're on furlow. Every wasted summer night is a sad thing, and we set our alarms on the weekends.

It has culled the old drinking buddies out of my life.cycleguy
Jun 30, 2001 10:47 PM
As a someone who lost his wife you bring a tear to my eye. But cycling helps me remove that pain. Sounds like your enjoying your blessing. Don't forget to verbally share that feeling you have with your other half. But it sounds like you do. :)
re: Has cycling ruined your personal life?MCCL
Jun 29, 2001 1:42 PM
I always thought it might effect it but it has been a bonus to the plan. When I joined a local bike club about two years ago I joined us as a family. I gave my son my old Colonago and we went out to enjoy and train. Well the wife to my astonishment wanted to also get in shape and enjoy the club functions. Well it's been an expensive but most enjoyable situation. We had to get one new bike and it ended up going to my son because he was the only one growing and a 56c was too much for either of us (he is 12yrs old and 5.10) Anyway the wife just loved either riding or working our club events and love's the people that she ride's with. After a year with out question I bought her a Pinarello. Boy was she stoked. The bike was well received and now both are inseprable. We all ride at diferent levels so the poeple we ride with are at our pace. There will be times that we will ride together but mostly I ride with what she call my Rat pack and she ride's with her cronnies. The kid mostly stay's with her but is just about ready to leap to the next pack. It has been a blesing and I can only say to investigate a club that would meet both your desires. To us it was a WIN WIN situation. Believe me this all happen by mistake and I would not say I had a plan but It has all fallen in well. Even the kid has fond respect for people that I figure he would be showing irash behavior at his age. His help with club event has been a wealth of gold. Who's to say that some of these people don't own businesses or no some one that needs a young person to employ. They treat him with so much respect that he was very upset when he broke his leg this year and missed about 10 weeks of riding. We would not even think of resting our bike's. Both the wife and kid did over 2000 miles each last year and if things around the house don't get done like it did for us, well it's because your family is out being a family like ours. JOIN A CLUB
not at allDuane Gran
Jun 29, 2001 3:20 PM
I didn't have much of a social life prior to cycling, so this may not be fair. :-) I would say that I broke up with my last girlfriend over the bike issue, among other things. You can only take so much of someone berating you about a good thing before you realize that you aren't the one who has a problem.

Through cycling I have met some great people and the social expectations are reasonable. All one needs to do is enjoy the ride together and everyone is cool. Heck, I even hang out with my cycling friends off the bike, so I would say that my social life has improved.

I'm kicking around the idea of dating a woman who rides, but I think she would have to be pretty unique and share a similar level of passion for the sport.
not at allsteveuk
Jun 30, 2001 6:24 PM
I guess it'll have to be a guy then Duane?