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Bicycle Haiku(18 posts)

Bicycle HaikuLazy
Jun 19, 2001 3:20 PM
Once upon a time there was a web site that had a bicycle haiku section. I think it was but I'm not sure. In any event, I can't find it there now. Does anyone know where they are? They were really funny.
sorry i can't find it for you, but here are a few of my own!Haiku d'état
Jun 19, 2001 3:44 PM
double or triple
let me simplify for you
thirty two sixteen


riding for an hour
in ninety four degree heat
my stinky jersey


two things i suggest trolls
long ride and short pier


sign the forum pact
it's a big ol' group hug, man
don't you flame me, yo


humma hah's steed
45 and change pounds of
anti gravity


a little levity
goes a long way for your wife
damned new bike fever


are you not at work?
get back to crunching numbers
off the cycling board!

just realizedHaiku d'état
Jun 19, 2001 3:47 PM
some of these are off, but you at least you got a glimpse inside the mind of a genius.

I like the last one best. LOLLazy
Jun 19, 2001 4:28 PM
I am at my job.
I am not out on my bike.
What a crappy day!

Work will be done soon.
I'll wear my stinky jersey
to dodge driving nuts.

Fathers on bike path
D'oh! 600 freds to dodge
That guy got pissed off!

Windbreakers and arm warmers?
What were they thinking?

Doug rides really far
I don't ride as far as Doug
I am laziest.

I love it! Later.
re: Bicycle HaikuLarry Meade
Jun 20, 2001 6:45 AM
Riding down a hill
Front tire suddenly goes pop
Asphalt tastes quite bad
board summary in haiku format (should this be a FAQ?!?)Haiku d'état
Jun 20, 2001 8:13 AM
you road bikers suck
get y'all a downhillin' rig
like a manly man

the group ride drops me
and my feelings were hurt bad
think i should get faster?

buy which bike which bike?
I can't decide on my own
enlist cyber help

you wear a helmet?
I wear camoflogue do-rag
and bomb the trails, dude!

so, does crashing suck?
I have heard lots about it
never met the ground

shave my legs or not?
i'm afraid my wife will freak
and buy me some hose

what is the best bike?
one wheel? two wheels? tricycle?
how to spend my cash?

what tires do you use?
you don't use axial pros?
must be a poser.

overrated bike?
colnago! colnago! no...
a bike with flat tires

can i drop ten pounds
in under four hours and change?
I want to be FAST!

best material?
I have endless resources
to spend on a frame

time, look or spuds?
neither, get with it!
I use those speedplays

how can i get fast?
i've done weekly intervals
should i do long rides?

dura ace versus
fine campagnolo record?
sturmey archer, man!

local shop versus
internet or mail order?
it's your decision.

who is the best pro
well, when lance kicks butt this year
we'll all know for sure

should drugs be legal
in professional racing?
no darn way, marco!

flatlander training
for hills? go into the wind
with proper posture

campy? shimano?
why not a unicycle?
forget the debate

y'all heard of this bike?
I got it at a yard sale
how much is it worth?

wireless computer
i'm in total misery
expensive purchase

computer sensor
mounted on my bladed spokes
anybody help?

hep me cuz i been
hipmotized! new bike lust has

is aluminum
really that harsh of a ride
proclaim steel is real!

you weekly mileage?
my responsibilites.
envious of yours!

century advice
from the wisened group members

are roadies buttholes?
no, just ride concentrated
i'm not elitist!

why don't you ever wave?
me on my huffy cruiser?
i'm as fast as you!
this is my favorite place
I have learned so much!

and, finally...

don't you flame me cause
I had too much fun writing
just jesting, my friends
Way too much time on your hands! LOL (nm)Len J
Jun 20, 2001 9:14 AM
only took a min. missed my calling as a classical haiku poet. nmHaiku d'état
Jun 20, 2001 9:27 AM
Bike haiku is are some more that I wrote...Will this make me fast?Lazy
Jun 20, 2001 10:09 AM
Jeff is a poet.
Nice Indiana Jones look.
I hate those darn snakes!!

Bicycles ain't cheap.
Serotta, Moots or Seven?
Four K for a bike?

Do ksyriums rock?
Or are Nucleons better?
Maybe Open Prose.

It's not if you'll crash,
it's when my roadie brother.
OUCH!! That really hurts.

Are Ti bolts not light?
Will they make me go faster?
I'm a weight weenie.

Bark bark bark bark bark
That dog wants to make me crash.
Time for a quick sprint.

I'm off work today.
The weather outside is nice.
See you guys later.
favorites: "open prose" and "bark bark bark bark bark"Haiku d'état
Jun 20, 2001 11:28 AM
way to use those give syllables!
MORE (can't believe you guys aren't gettin' in on this! c'mon!)Haiku d'état
Jun 20, 2001 11:53 AM
cardboard cubicle
six by six cell of labor
can't see bike from here

what size tires for me...
seven hundred c by what?
my contact patch woes!

what bike computer?
board response: euduro 2
it's overwhelming!

to ride in the rain
or not to ride in the rain
weather is nobler (sic)

value: powergels?
I like the clif gels myself
others like honey

what's the best bike under
eleven hundred dollars?
I have nine to spend

aerobar pack use
is not even considered
we know we're mortal

they say you're a fred
wearing those mountain bike shoes
helmet with visor

ITT question
tri message board is for you
mister aero man

all flame grz mnky
for no real decent reason
I for one like him

forum pact one, two
three, four, five, six, seven, eight...
can't we all just get...

such numerous posts
about carbon fiber bikes
are we postal nuts?

metric, century
brevet, double, triple, RAAM
hurts to think about

hey! flame war! flame war!
let's post anonymously
be mean and nasty

interesting: who's
more pictures needed!

what's the best roof rack?
though i have a good response,
often it's my trunk

local bike shops suck
no, my friend, they do not suck
try working in one!

how did this happen?
your bent derailleur hanger?
just riding around.

my frame arrive soon?
called today, be here in three
promise, customer!

how much for cassette?
eighty, loyal customer
just over invoice!

what's a tune-up worth?
depends on motivation
and level of care

Haiku Machine!!!!!..Len J
Jun 20, 2001 1:13 PM
Doin Haiku Intervals.
Call U Jeffreyh San
You are the KING OF HAIKU! Here's one more...Ed2
Jun 20, 2001 2:38 PM
Ok, I'll try one,

Why titanium?
Lighter, rust proof and smooth ride,
But damn the dollars!

re: Bicycle HaikuLazy
Jun 20, 2001 1:16 PM
Which rack is the best
Anklebiter or Steelhead?
Garage doors are low!

I slip on the paint.
Deceleration trauma!
Complain to city.

Which shoes do I wear?
Energy S D S.
They fit like a glove.

Haiku is taking
Over my wee little brain.
five-seven-five. D'OH!
My feeble effortmike mcmahon
Jun 20, 2001 3:02 PM
grz mnky wailer
engaged in bitter battle
perfect or ideal

drugs enhance power
frigo never used a drop
throw out in milan

mountain bikers hate
roadies shave and have money
cannot spell or write
LOL: "cannot spell or write"...Haiku d'état
Jun 20, 2001 3:07 PM
ps: i'm going mountain biking in about 35 minutes. DOH!
No doh necessarymike mcmahon
Jun 20, 2001 3:22 PM
Obviously, my haiku was dedicated to the likes of our recent flame baiters. I still hop on my mtb occasionally. Come to think of it, I might give it a try tomorrow morning. It has been a while. Enjoy the ride.
my humble contributionsStarliner
Jun 21, 2001 12:04 AM
she blew on past me
before I could see her face
so now I am bummed

chase me down the road
i'll make you ride really hard
think you can catch me?

sparkles on the road
are best to be avoided
so that you don't flat

my legs feel like lead
my lungs keep gasping for air
i've got to hang on

forever searching
for that lost moment in time
I keep on riding