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The return of the "Ya might be a roadie if..."(20 posts)

The return of the "Ya might be a roadie if..."Marlon
Jun 15, 2001 11:19 AM
Just went to the beach, and another guy came up to me and said, "Hey, are you a roadie?" I said, "Yeah - how could you tell?" He smiled and said, "Look at yourself".

That's when I thought of the "Ya might be a roadie" thread that was on here a while back...

Ya might be a roadie if even non-cyclists look at your cycling tan and shaved legs on the beach.

Ya might be a roadie if jump with glee on a day with no wind.

Ya might be a roadie if you've got three boxes of Spenco 2nd Skin and Polysporin in your medicine cabinet at home.

Ya might be a roadie if you think a cycling computer without cadence is "useless".

Ya might be a roadie if you think a handlebar that weighs more than 199g is too heavy.

Ya might be a roadie if the thought of getting hot & sweaty with at least 50 other guys/girls in a pack gets you excited.
you keep baby wipes in your desk to cleanup after luchtime rideDave Hickey
Jun 15, 2001 11:34 AM
you yell "Car Up" or "On your left" while driving your car (nmScottH
Jun 15, 2001 11:46 AM
some new ones i've learned and others i've considered since...Haiku d'état
Jun 15, 2001 11:50 AM
ya might be a cycling nut if:

* the foam on your lawn mower wore off and it's been replaced with bar wrap

* (1) you tell people about your weekend and their response is "you rode HOW far?"

* (2) you tell people about your weekend and their response is "you rode that in HOW MANY days?"

* (for daddies) you frequently alternate hand positions pushing the baby stroller

* keep your hands at 11:55 and 12:05 on the car steering wheel for better aerodynamics

* you put a substance meant for farm animals' personals on your butt

* you're a guy and don't think it strange to have an internal struggle with "to shave my legs or not..." (this may not apply to some of us)

* your spouse wants another car garage (3) on the new house to give the bikes their own place to sleep

* you considering buying another tv/vcr to put in the garage for use with the trainer

* you spend alot of time in front of the tv but don't watch any cable/prime-time; it's all tour tapes

* you have a "bike book"/cycling photo/scrap album

* you have dresser drawers dedicated to cycling clothing

* you can't get to the freezer in the garage without walking with a 90-degree bend at the waist

* you ride to the ride

* people in the bike club call you "obsessed"

* you ride a cruiser/beater to the club ride 'cause you like the way it rides--and have no worries about the pace

* you have as many cyclinng shoes as work shoes (or more?)

* you have a parts bin at home

* you buy used bikes to cannibalize the parts

* you drive hours and hours and hours to ride a bike >:-)

* you buy baby powder and lemon pledge exclusively for use on the bikes

* you have multiple pictures of bikes and rides at your desk/in the living room/in the bedroom

* your non-cycling friends ask about your rides to start a conversation

* the local tri-folks with <8% bodyfat are astounded at your ride frequency/distances

* you go to the LBS just to look THROUGH the window

* the guys at work call you "bike boy"/"bike girl"
one moreHaiku d'état
Jun 15, 2001 12:47 PM
changed clothes/shoes for a drive back home after a hot/humid/hilly metric, had a rough ride. delierous, twisted to unclip (from the gas pedal) at a stoplight. so:

* unclip from vehicle gas/clutch/brake

* slow to coast but attempt not to stop vehicle at stoplight awaiting green as not to unclip/dab
DOH! You took mine!Kristin
Jun 15, 2001 1:59 PM
I caught myself unclipping from the gas a few weeks ago. Its becoming quite the habit. 3 more:

- When the opposite light turns yellow, you hurry up and place your water bottle back in your cars cup holder. Followed by optional clipping back into gas pedal.

- Your cars cup holders are all stocked with water bottles from the LBS.

- You approach an unavoidable pothole or rough road. You bend your arms and dip towards the steering wheel. Confusion sets in as prepare to stand.
or, you might be a jaded retrogrouch if...Hank
Jun 15, 2001 11:58 AM
You think lightweight handlebars are nuts.

You think cyclometers are stupid and ugly.

You like riding in bad weather because there are fewer people on the road.

You shiver at the idea of riding with 50 people who don't know how to hold a line.

You've never weighed your bike.

You ride heavy, wide tires because they're more durable and get fewer flats.

You still shave your legs, but mostly out of habit - hair feels too weird.

You peruse eBay for Nuovo Record parts and Moltini orange Merckx frames.

A helmet, lycra shorts and clipless pedals are your only real concessions to modern cycling trends - the rest of the so called "developments" seem fairly pointless.

You enjoy riding your road bike off road.
or, you might be a jaded retrogrouch if...redman
Jun 15, 2001 12:48 PM
Can I add an avocet bike computer and Record aero levers matched to N. Record as my concessions to modern cycling? I can trade you wool shorts (I often ride Swobo), and clipless--I'm still happy on Record pedals, road and track.
or, you might be a jaded retrogrouch if...Hank
Jun 15, 2001 12:58 PM
oh yes, aero levers - I agree 100%. You can only add the Avocet cyclometer if it has the cheezy painted silver trim and it goes dead every other ride. And I couldn't give up Alfredo Bindas entirely - still use one to hold my seat bag in place. The well-used Record pedals are in a box, awaiting duty on a commute bike of some kind (I stupidly sold a set of unused Super Record ti spindle pedals a while back).
a few moreDuane Gran
Jun 15, 2001 12:41 PM
  • your most expensive shoes are cycling shoes
  • you catch yourself drafting other cars when you drive
  • you feel like you are pulling through the paceline as you pass another car
  • Shoe costIan
    Jun 15, 2001 4:39 PM
    YES! I can relate to that one. My road shoes at $229 and my MTB shoes at $249 are much more expensive than my Nikes at $60.

    And I have found myself "drafting" cars. I hope the local officer doesn't find me doing it.
    yepDuane Gran
    Jun 16, 2001 6:18 AM
    Kinda funny, isn't it. I shopped for hours to buy a pair of $160 dress shoes, but I didn't bat an eye to drop $230 for a pair of Carnacs. Something strange comes over me when it comes to purchasing bike stuff. :)
    Jun 16, 2001 7:13 PM
    Look at it this way... How often, and for how long will you wear the Carnacs? What about the dress shoes? There's your value, and that's why you didn't bat an eye. :-)
    re: ;Ya might be a roadie if.........Len J
    Jun 15, 2001 2:33 PM
    You find yourself following 6 inches from the car in front of you, in heavy traffic.

    Your coffee table drawer has more bike tools & parts than coasters.

    The UPS guy delivers more packages to you (from bike supply places) than the traveling salesman living next door.

    You have more bikes than your wife has shoes. (sorry ladies, couldn't resist. I'm married to Imelda II)
    you might be a mountain biker ifcyclopathic
    Jun 15, 2001 4:00 PM

    10) You find yourself lifting up on the steering wheel when driving over train tracks.

    9) When you fight with your girlfriend, she glares at your bike.

    8) You tell co-workers who are slow climbing stairs to "suck it up".

    7) Whenever your girlfriend talks about shaving her legs, you sniff and mutter "roadie".

    6) When driving through rush hour traffic, you stick your head out the window and yell "On your left! On your left!"

    5) When nodding off during meetings, you wake up and immediately extend both hands in panic.

    4) Inexplicably, you tend to dislike anyone named "Fred".

    3) The first words out of your mouth when you enter a bike store are: "I was just riding along and..."

    2) When your grandmother falls and breaks her hip, you explain that "she's not very good at the technical sections".

    1) "What's a kickstand?"


    10) You stop putting your bike on your roof rack because it's not aerodynamic.

    9) Your girlfriend is sick of you borrowing her razor.

    8) You check your heart rate during s e x.

    7) You accuse the semis ahead of you on the freeway of "blocking".

    6) You prefer the handicapped ramp to the stairs.

    5) You think spandex looks GOOD.

    4) You own something made of carbon fiber.

    3) You speak "a little Italian".

    2) You've considered bikini wax.

    1) "I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting"

    this is repost.. still good! come up with stoopid polls. (nm)grz mnky
    Jun 15, 2001 4:48 PM laugh when grz mkny is wrong. (nm)spank it!
    Jun 16, 2001 7:36 PM
    bike peoplesimstress
    Jun 15, 2001 5:29 PM
    BF met and chatted recently with a lady who lives in our building. He learned that he and I are known as the "bike people".

    My driving was weird the week after the MS150. Every time I saw a road hazard, I had a strong desire to point down at it. My arm would start the movement before I realized I was piloting a car.
    re: The return of the &quot;Ya might be a roadie if...&quot;lrobertg1
    Jun 17, 2001 8:31 AM
    You Know Your a Bi Biker when:

    1) You hurry home from the clubs Sat morning ride to get to your hardtail and hit the woods......

    2) When going down a hill on the road your butt automaticly finds itself over your rear wheel.....
    Jun 17, 2001 2:26 PM
    These may have been covered, but I know these from personal experience:

    *You have dark arms and white hands, except for one little dark spot on the backs.

    *You have trouble sitting and climbing stairs every Monday morning.

    *Use use the word Ti (pronounced tie) in everyday conversation, and fully expect people to know what you are talking about.

    *You have a big bump on at least one shoulder.

    *You have grease stains all over the carpet in the back of your vehicle.

    *You understand what a "butter break" is.

    *You find yourself crouching down as you drive down a steep hill.

    *You have little containers of parts all over the garage, and you can't even remember what they go to.

    *You can change a bike tube in 60 seconds.

    *You are not embarrassed about having clean shaven legs.

    *You have a working knowledge of foreign phrases such as "testa della corsa (sp?)" and "domestique", despite no formal training in the languages or having ever visited the countries.

    *You can honestly say that you don't know what your bike cost, as you assembled it from parts bought over several years.

    *"Lugs" are not those things on car wheels.

    *However, you still can't figure out whether it's a "saddle" or "seat". (My theory: you "straddle a saddle" and "sit on a seat.")