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Are you a Fred?(43 posts)

Are you a Fred?discuss
Apr 30, 2001 9:13 AM
If you're hairy legged. If you wear a Trek jersey, Schwinn shorts, Pro-Flex socks, and a Specialized helmet while riding a Cannondale. If you ride a Giant or mention that word while engaging in a decent cycling related conversation. If you wonder 'how to pee' while wearing bibs. If you still wear your helmet/shorts hours after an event while mingling in the food court. If you mingle in the food court. If you are still deciding whether to up-grade to those new-fangled STI/Ergo levers when your 6 speed friction downtube shifters still have plenty of miles left. If you think Camelbacks are the greatest invention after the rear derailluer. If you're still reading this.....then, I ask...are you a Fred? honest.
Are you a poser?Cory
Apr 30, 2001 9:28 AM
If you shave your legs when you're riding 22 miles a week, if you can't ride today because your color- and logo-coordinated superhero costume is in the wash, if you think the label on a bike is more important than how it works, if you notice what other cyclists are wearing, if you toss your perfectly good, one-year-old equipment any buy new stuff just so you can have New Stuff, if you've bought 10 new derailleurs but still can't spell the word...
yo Cory lighten up...aligator
Apr 30, 2001 12:20 PM
can you not see the dude is trying to see the lighter side? I think Freds are weird have to laugh because they either: take themselves way too serious (and they are quite easy to see thru), or: they take themselves so un-serious that they laugh at themselves. I to think the pot-bellied, multi-company logo wearing geeks look a tad on the ridiculous side myself. But what the hell do I know.

So my 2 cents: I think your a fred when the biggest 4 or 5 days of the year is when the New Bike Nashbar comes.......oh boy!!

and, how do you spell deralliur????
re: Are you a Fred?xxx
Apr 30, 2001 9:42 AM
If you remember your "PR" in a centuary. Oh man, this is going to be a fun post. I can't wait to see these.
Do Specialized shoes peddling a Colnago make you a Fred?Brian C.
Apr 30, 2001 9:59 AM
Gawd, I hope not.
I definitely don't have a Kryptonite U-lock mounted to the down tube.
Do Specialized shoes peddling a Colnago make you a Fred?colorado cyclist
Apr 30, 2001 12:35 PM
Gad! Specialized with a Colnago? I'd sell the Colnago.
Sniff, you my friend, are a border-line Fred.Allen
Apr 30, 2001 12:57 PM
The first step is recognizing the problem which I think you have.
The next step is to order a pair of Sidis or something similar :)

Even though the Pros do it, ShimaNo on a Colnago, Tommasini, Rossin, Guerciotti, Bottecchia, Bataglin, or the like should be considered a mortal sin.
My name is Brian and I'm ... I'm ... I'm a ...Brian C.
Apr 30, 2001 1:13 PM
... No, say it ain't so.

But it's okay to have an Ultegra group set on your Colnago, right?
(There was another Master X-Light shod with Record - no way I could afford that!)
Non-posers: A show of hands !!!!!!coonass
Apr 30, 2001 8:56 PM
If you could easily afford a better frame and equipment, raise your hand if you would NOT get it!
Those who didn't raise their hands, go to Church and ask God's forgiveness for lying! (Get off this kick of 'Posers'....sounds like you just can't afford it, so don't blame me....the LBS didn't ask for USCF points....just told me how much it costs and I said "Do it and lets go Record 10 on this one and Dura-ace on the other"...)
:) enjoy your ride whatever it is and don't criticize bikers for wanting (& affording) quality we all know, it's who's on 'top' of the frame that counts!
My name is Brian and I'm ... I'm ... I'm a ...Tommy T
May 1, 2001 7:23 AM
Oh my G*D. I'm guilty on both counts - Specialized shoes AND Ultegra with a Colnago Master x Light. What's really fun though, is smoking everyone in the club TT while wearing cutoffs.
Whoa, what a reliefPaulCL
Apr 30, 2001 1:13 PM
I have Campy on my Colnago - I must not be a Fred then!

Now a question? Do my red Air Jordans or my Penny Loafers look better on my pro-fit pedals??? I just want to make sure my day-glow green camelback doesn't clash with my outfit while I ride my weekly "long" ride of 22 miles!!!!
One thing you can't denyBrian C.
Apr 30, 2001 1:31 PM
The gaudier you look, the more likely the maniacs will see you.
I usually wear yellow no-name shirts, though.
As for the Shimano shoes, they're gonna have to do till the next bike show.
Correction - I meant Specialized shoes will have to do (nm)Brian C.
Apr 30, 2001 1:37 PM
who caresishmael
Apr 30, 2001 10:10 AM
ride your bike and shut up...stop worrying about how cool everyone else is..bunch of snobs
ooo your jokeingishmael
Apr 30, 2001 1:29 PM
ok..i thought people were actually serious..its hard to tell sometimes
Fred till I'm Dead!jbrown2036
Apr 30, 2001 12:19 PM
I am a Fred. When I first got my bike I had no idea about fitting and how those funky STI levers worked. I wore mtb clothes on my road bike. I was fat on a fast bike.
A couple seasons later I was rocking out centuries like they were candy. I was riding 150-200 miles a week. I was helping newer cyclists out by offering advice when asked (sometimes when I wasn't-"raise your seat"). I decided to race.
My first race I didn't finish. My second through 15th I was lucky to finish with the pack. Then I started winning. Got a coach and started getting serious about my riding. Felt smug after my last crushing of a mixed 4-5 race and was talking to my coach about all those Freds, and how they needed to get a clue.
"What a Fred thing to say" he said. I was hurt (I look up to him a lot-he's my coach!), and he was right. There is always someone who rides faster, better, longer and to them you are a fred-and to someone else they are a Fred. I love riding, and I am a Fred.

ps. if you still don't think you are a fred-then you definetly are!
Fred till I'm Dead!aligator
Apr 30, 2001 12:27 PM
and you to there J Brown...chill...I quite believe this was a joke. You know? a joke....don't believe it was meant to bring this tear to the eyes response.
Fred till I'm Dead!jbrown2036
Apr 30, 2001 12:54 PM
your tears, your eyes. I took it as a funny and just felt like poking fun at anti-freds. Believe me the only ones taking this seriously are the people that haven't gotten used to the wacky sense of humor here. But maybe it was a bit heavy (damn I hate when I am taken seriously:))

consider me chilled
Fred till I'm Dead!aligator
Apr 30, 2001 1:16 PM
There ya go..I knew I could get you to see the humor in this (at least I think the guy was trying to get humor). I ride for a trade team and take it way serious...but I can't stand the holier than thou types. (Honestly, though, Freds can be hard to hang with). But, if someone needs a hand, by all means, give them a pointer or two. It's hard to recommend 'fashion' to someone though....
re: Are you a Fred?The Jerk
Apr 30, 2001 12:23 PM
If you've ever used a disk wheel during a training ride.
If you keep your race number on your helmet, bike, or jersey AFTER the race.
If you suffer from dehydration because you thought hydration packs were for Freds only.
If you ride around wearing a yellow Campagnolo cycling cap. You probably also think "Breaking Away" is the best movie ever. Everyone knows that movie did more irreparable harm to the image of cyclists than anything else.
If you have aerobars on a mtb.
If you go out and buy a $3000 12 lb disposable aluminum bike
knowing damn well you won't be be able to afford another bike for at least 3 or 4 years.
If you're a mtb'er who goes on a roadie club ride and insists on reminding the other riders that you're a mtb'er every 2 miles. We don't give a flying f*ck.
If you post a message here asking why you should shave your legs.
If you post a message here asking if you should race.
If you hang around a bike shop in full gear just vogueing.
If you post a message in passion bragging about how you blew by a roadie on your mountainbike on the local jogging path.
If you post a message here asking if you should get a double or triple.
If you use a triple. Triples are for GIRLS.
If you post a message to roadbikereview asking "Are you a Fred?"
re: Are you a Fred?aligator
Apr 30, 2001 12:29 PM
this is what we're looking for....more stuff like we're talkin'.
re: Are you a Fred?Clyde
Apr 30, 2001 12:42 PM
I know you are joking, but, having that granny ring there is a lifesaver for many of us in the world. We can't all be Lance Armstrong and some of us are overweight and working on it, and, yes, there are mountains around here...thank god for the granny chain ring! Its just an ounce or two, so, if you have any doubt, buy a crankset with one IMHO.
re: Are you a Fred?Dave Hickey
Apr 30, 2001 12:38 PM
Are you a Fred if you buy Michelin Axial Sports in yellow because Axial Pros in green don't match your bike.
In my professional opinion,...PsyDoc
Apr 30, 2001 12:44 PM
you may be a little anal retentive, obsessive-compulsive, or whatever psycho-babble label you want to use, but this practice alone does not make you a Fred.
Just One Question, "Fred"TJohn
Apr 30, 2001 2:02 PM
where did the term "fred" come from??? i mean, why did whoever coined the term "fred" to apply to those who are not as enlightened as others decide to use the name "fred"??? i mean, if my name was "fred", i'm sunk either way. maybe whoever it was that coined the term "fred" didn't have a father named "fred" i'm "freddied" out!!! glad my name isn't fred. ok, so i asked more than one question.
ride on
tj ;^)
Just One Question, "Fred"Lazy
Apr 30, 2001 2:07 PM
We should ask Mr. Rodriguez. I wonder if he knows. LOL
re: Are you a Fred?mhw
Apr 30, 2001 2:11 PM
SOme of these are pretty good. Still, I loathe 'freds'. Helmet tilted way back (a Bell V-1 Pro, no doubt), little beer gut, hairy legs, mid-calf socks, half of his personal belongings stuffed in his jersey pockets, saying 'josh, how much does that weigh?'
Which one of these offenses is more Fred-like.......WCC
Apr 30, 2001 3:33 PM
...Having hairy legs, or being a new roadie with shaven ones.
When I was in college, I thought sociology, while initiallybill
Apr 30, 2001 4:03 PM
interesting because sociologists identified Deadheads as an identifiable sociological group, ultimately was one of the dopiest disciplines. Who really cared how people carried their prejudices in the eyes of some sociologist? I didn't. Cool people transcended group identities, and I always had prided myself on traveling to the beat of my own drum. While this ideal was more my fantasy than my reality, at least I still tried to balance who I was with, well, who I was, not by identifying with one group or identifying myself as being NOT among a group.
So. I be a fred. Call me fred. Call me betty. Call me al (or george).
That fred over there? I still don't know shit about him. Except that his name probably isn't fred. And that calling him a fred says a f*ckload more about me than about him.
This ain't that funny.
When I was in college, I thought sociology, while initiallyjn
Apr 30, 2001 4:14 PM, deep man. You seem so in touch with the inner you.
yeah, it's kind of hard to type one-handed. nmbill
Apr 30, 2001 4:16 PM
re: Are you a Fred?right said fred
Apr 30, 2001 5:09 PM
Man, this is good...I see so many freds around where I live and ride. The best thing about freds is that they never know (they are). It keeps the fun side of cycling there and for all to enjoy. 'right' said fred.
Mr. "Right Said Fred"PaulCL
Apr 30, 2001 7:48 PM
Isn't that the name of the band that had the "one hit wonder" song that goes...."I'm too sexy for ????, I'm too sexy for ....."???? where are those argyle socks to match my 'all-Mapei' outfit???
Absolutely!Steve H
Apr 30, 2001 5:13 PM
All my stuff is mismatched and bought on sale. If I could afford it I would be a Poz.. Posur.. One of them other guys.
Judge not, lest you be judged yourself!must_pedal_harder
Apr 30, 2001 6:59 PM
re: Are you a Fred?MalandMo
Apr 30, 2001 7:20 PM
I don't get it. If evrything you have matches, you're a poser. If it doesn't match, you're a fred. what the heck are you supposed to wear? I'm probably a little of both, but who really cares, I love to ride, what difference does it make to anyone what I do or don't wear. All you "Look at that fred" people need to get a real life, get your head out of your backsides and try and do something to become a productive member of society.
Look at the big picturetommyb
Apr 30, 2001 8:12 PM
Guess what guys (and gals): Amongst ourselves, we can divide ourselves into freds and poseurs, cyclists and bikers, or whatever other classifications you want. But to the other 99.5% of the population, we're all pretty much geeks. Even the most absurd golfer in plaid pants and a striped shirt doesn't look as much out of place as any one of us, no matter how matched or mismatched our outfits are. I would like to think I'm not too much of a fred when I'm hammering in a tight paceline with my own kind on Saturday morning, but when I walk into the office on Monday morning wearing cleated silver shoes, purple tights and a white crash helmet, all sweaty on a cold winter morning, it's pretty easy to see where I fall in the general public perception. It's a good thing I enjoy the ride.
Good Post....WCC
Apr 30, 2001 9:25 PM
...I have given up on trying to look normal to my friends and dont give a shit what they think.
hell no...... I think?fuzzybunnies
Apr 30, 2001 9:07 PM
All my bikes, road included have mtb spd's
I always wear mtb shoes, course I still can't find road shoes that fit.
Almost never wear cycling clothing, except socks
All my sock are cycling socks
Half the time I simply wear sneakers while riding.
Spoky dokes on my racing bike.
hell no...... I think?dug
May 1, 2001 7:41 AM
anyone who calls himself "fuzzybunnies" and always signs off 'TTFN' not only is a fred, but has questionable sexual identity
I am me.Scy
Apr 30, 2001 10:11 PM
Started mountain biking five years ago and bought lycra shorts (Supergo) and both road and mountain jerseys (Performance, Hind, and other on-sale stuff). Even though the stuff I wore wasn't cool, the other riders on the trail were, and they NEVER gave me sh*t or attitude. This was both before and after I actually learned how to handle my bike and the trails.

Started seriously road biking only 3 months ago, putting in 100 to 150 miles weekly. Started doing fast group rides (100+ riders, mostly racers) a month ago and was dropped; but now I can hang. Even began interval and sprint training last week. At this rate, I may try for my first road race in about a month or two. The only new clothing I got was a wind vest (Trek). I still have the same mix of road/mountain jerseys with the Supergo shorts. I definitely sense elitism when I am among roadies, generally.

I have pride in what I wear and how I look off the bike. But on the bike, it's business, and I will wear the same Performance or Supergo clothing because the $110 vests with the $80 jerseys and $90 shorts don't seem to make a difference in performance or comfort.

I know (?) the original post was tongue in cheek, but if calling me a fred simply refers to my clothing, taste, or poverty, then I am a fred. However, I do take exception with elitists that believe that they are superior athletes because their skinsuits and bike are both celeste green.
A real fred???tommyb
Apr 30, 2001 10:26 PM
Okay, You're warming up for the race of your life, and you see an older guy, considerably overweight, wearing a team jersey, on a great bike, riding along casually. He even has his name painted onto the frame. If you slow down to talk to him, he talks about how biking was back 'in his day'. You then see him hanging out at the national team tent at the race, obviously trying to get himself associated with the racers. But he's an old fat guy wannabe. What business does he have riding that cool bike, wearing that jersey, hanging out near the pro tent? Must be a fred, or worse, a poseur. Take a look at this photo, and think twice about calling an old fat guy a fred. Even if he really looks like it.
Celebrate fred-domtommyb
Apr 30, 2001 10:34 PM
One last post from me on this topic. Last year, at the top of Grandfather Mountain, the end of the Bridge to Bridge ride (one of the hardest centuries in the southeast), the biggest applause from the crowd went to an old guy going very slowly up the last little bit of the climb. It wasn't the cool team jersey, or the high dollar machine, but one little detail that got the crowd going.

Brown socks RULE!

Be the fred.