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You guys wanna hear a funny story?(19 posts)

You guys wanna hear a funny story?bill
Mar 9, 2001 9:23 AM
This happened to, you know, "a friend," and it has no connection whatsoever to my posts below about Pegoretti frames.
Okay, so, this "friend" has been hoarding various reimbursement checks from work for a slush fund to buy, let's say, a new bike. "He" actually has been doing it in one form or another for years under the distinct impression that, if his wife had any clue how much money he REALLY spent on "that stupid bike," he wouldn't have a wife or a bike, which just would have to be sold to pay alimony.
So, "my friend" is walking around with $600 in cash one day, having just received various expense reimbursement checks. His wife happens to need a couple of bucks after my friend already has gone to bed, and she goes into his wallet. And sees the money.
Now, the wife lays in bed until, oh, almost dawn, and finally says, what are you doing with all that cash in your wallet?
So, sleepy and repentant, my friend immediately tells the truth. Instead of being mad about the bike thing, however, the wife is suspicious that it's something else. She won't leave him alone. So, what is the one thing my friend can, no, has to do to prove that he was telling the truth about the money being for a bike and not for the mistress, the other family, or the one-way to Tahiti?
He has to buy a bike, of course.
re: You guys wanna hear a funny story?Lazy
Mar 9, 2001 9:27 AM
Beautiful. What kind of bike is/did your friend getting/get? LOL
"my friend" is still thinking on it, butbill
Mar 9, 2001 9:45 AM
once again, I repeat, this post has nothing whatsoever to do with my own entirely abstract infatuation with Pegoretti steel, reference below. If "my friend" were to share this predilection and end up with the exact Pegoretti frame (among Palosanto, Duende, and Marcelo), that I would have picked (with some mix of Campy 10 sp. components), had this been me, it would be strictly a coincidence. An amazing coincidence.
"my friend" is still thinking on it, butLazy
Mar 9, 2001 10:15 AM
Amazing indeed! Tell your friend to get on it right away so as to avoid any further undue chastisement from the spousal unit!

poor guyDog
Mar 9, 2001 9:28 AM
I wish my wife would demand that I buy a bike.

Not sure that strategy would always work, though. She might have just taken the money and kept it.

"only report 80% of your income" says my Dad...PaulCL
Mar 9, 2001 11:45 AM
..and he doesn't mean the IRS.

My wife and I have an unspoken agreement in our home: I don't ask how much she spends on clothes and shoes, she doesn't ask how much I spend on bike stuff. Simple. It works. Of course, she spends at the drop of a hat. I hem and haw over every descision. SHe wins.
re: You guys wanna hear a funny story?mike mcmahon
Mar 9, 2001 9:32 AM
A friend of mine has a friend who is a vintage car buff and had a similar car slush fund, except it was more to the tune of $10,000 in cash, which he kept in a shoe box in the back of his side of the closet. He went into his bedroom one morning to find his three year old son on the bed with the box open and about $10,000 in cash scattered all over the room. Before he came to his wits, he yet out a loud yell. Of course, the yell caused his wife to come running into the room to see what had happened. The rest, as they say, is history.
My wife...JBergland
Mar 9, 2001 10:03 AM
... would have expected an equal slush fund for interests/hobbies of hers. I guess that's fair. To be honest, my wife is too supportive of my biking interests. Although she doen't like when I spend 2-4 hours riding, she is is very supportive with purchases. "Well, if that is what you REALLY need". That 'need' part gets me every time!!
I've got...E3
Mar 9, 2001 10:04 AM
...$400 stashed in my wallet right now to defray some killer future purchase. The right one hasn't come along yet, but I'll know it when I see it.

My wife has never given me a hard time about my bike spending, but I know she keeps a wary eye on me. We are very open with each other on just about everything, but I can't help my compulsion to stash the cash with a new bike in mind.
How many have "slush funds" for bike stuff?Alan B
Mar 9, 2001 10:10 AM
I'm up to about a grand. Gonna blow some on some wheels to tide me over a few years while I save up for the next ride.
re: You guys wanna hear a funny story?Skip
Mar 9, 2001 10:28 AM
Isn't truth, openess, and honesty wonderful in marriages. At least that's what I thought it should be.

Absolutely! It is, it is.E3
Mar 9, 2001 10:38 AM
We have that. That's why my marriage is so great. Well, that and my little bike stash.
Skip, there's honesty in a marriage, and then there's toobill
Mar 9, 2001 10:40 AM
much honesty in a marriage.
Let's see if you're married. What is the correct answer to this question?
"Honey, do I look fat in these pants?"
(a) No.
(b) It's okay, we both could stand to lose a little weight.
(c) You know that I love you just the way you are.
(d) There is no right answer. You must immediately feign heart disease in order to quickly, dramatically, and irretrievably change the subject.
Of course, if you picked any answer but (d), you are either not married or are, as they say, between marriages.
Skip, there's honesty in a marriage, and then there's tooSkip
Mar 9, 2001 11:49 AM
Actually, the best reply I've ever heard to this, or any similar question where there appears to be no right answer is: (Pay attention now, all you married folks) - - - [Holding hands and arms out to the sides at a 45, cocking head slightly to the side, and giving her one of those come hither looks] "Ayeeeeee" . (Kinda like one of those "Fonz" things. Not saying yes, not saying no, just "Ayeeeeee".

Brutal HonestyXeke
Mar 10, 2001 6:35 AM
Honey, Do these pants make me look fat?
No Sweetie, those pants don't make you look fat. Your stomach makes you look fat. Or can make you look... uh... Or....

Thus, I learned that I'm occasionally context challenged. Also since then, I haven't had to hide any slush funds.
re: You guys wanna hear a funny story?Ray
Mar 9, 2001 10:35 AM
My first reaction was also that "HE" has to buy a bike in order to prove his fidelity. However, if he buys a bike AFTER being busted, it looks like a cover up. Actually, anything he does looks like a cover-up, but at least if you (er, HE) buy her a diamond necklace, it looks like a cover-up but it has an outside chance of actually working.

-Ray "or maybe buy HER a nice bike" Sachs
Ray, with all due respectbill
Mar 9, 2001 11:00 AM
Are you crazy?
If I were to hand her a bauble now, she'd immediately start to cry and then she'd call her lawyer.
Now, if this were Christmas or her birthday, I could maybe get around the lawyer thing with some backpedaling (so to speak) about how I wanted to surprise her, but why? She'd have a necklace that she'll always suspect is to cover guilt if she's not POSITIVE that it is, and I wouldn't have a bike.
You're not married, either, are you?
Friend huh?Lazy
Mar 9, 2001 11:30 AM
HEY!!! Wait a minute Bill, I thought this was a friend! J/K.

Maybe this would work: You go buy a tandem. Best of both worlds. You get a new bike, and you get out of trouble with the wife.

If not, definitely go with the Record ergo levers. Those CF levers look SO pretty!

Good luck!
Your "friend" is screwedfuzzybunnies
Mar 9, 2001 8:03 PM
The tandem idea might just work, though it won't get the desired bike. Personally I love the singles life, and dating. I know if the girl tells me I spend to much money on bikes and tries to keep track of my money it's time to head elsewhere. TTFN